4
The Knell doctor arrived within minutes. She checked Yoshiro, but we all knew he was dead. When the wraith-arm had jerked out of his chest, blood had spouted across the room. I’d never get that sight out of my mind.
The doctor treated William’s wound, disinfecting and stitching it, then tended Gabriel’s and Bennett’s cuts and bruises. She looked me over and tsked at my chattering teeth and jittery hands, and the blood splatter on my sweater. She offered a Valium for the shock, but I shook my head.
I’d lost Yoshiro, the only person who knew how to defeat Neos. And I’d lost my newfound aunt in the most gruesome way possible. It’s called parricide, the killing of a close relative. Probably not on the SATs, but branded in my mind. I didn’t want to dull the pain; I wanted to feel it.
We left the room as the doctor began performing an autopsy on Rachel. She didn’t want to move the body, as she’d never autopsied the corpse of a possessed person before. We crossed the hall into a sitting room, where we all sat in stunned silence.
“Wraiths can’t possess people,” Gabriel finally muttered.
“They can now,” Bennett said. “And they can march right into the Knell and kill our leader.”
Nobody said anything for a while. Then I said, in a small voice, “What do we do?”
“Stick to the plan,” William said. “Build the teams. Start training together and …” His voice trailed off.
“And what? Does anyone else know how to beat Neos?”
William didn’t answer—his defeated expression spoke loudly enough.
“That’s why Neos killed Yoshiro,” Gabriel told me. “You and he are the only ones who scared Neos. But Yoshiro was careful; he’d been staying out of sight—until today, to meet you.”
Bennett nodded. “So Neos put a wraith in Rachel, and waited for his chance. He killed two of the top four people in the Knell, inside our own stronghold. We need to protect Emma.”
“She’s no threat to him,” Gabriel protested, “not without Yoshiro’s guidance.”
“You want to bet her life on that?” Bennett said, his jaw clenched. “Because the Knell’s done so well with predictions lately. You didn’t even know Rachel was possessed.”
“It’s not that simple,” William said. “We can’t commit ourselves to Emma before we know what we’re facing. Maybe that’s what Neos wants us to do.”
He and Bennett argued for a few minutes, until I interrupted. “What is wrong with you people? I’ve been doing this for like twenty minutes—you’re the ones with the massive headquarters in New York and a thousand years of practice. I thought you knew what you were doing. That’s why I came.”
William rubbed his eyes. “This is something new, Emma. Your appearance, Neos’s bond to you, these wraiths and possessions. Yoshiro would still be alive if …”
“If I hadn’t come?”
The doctor knocked and stepped inside before William could answer. Her preliminary autopsy of Rachel revealed that she would’ve died within the hour, even if we hadn’t dispelled the wraith inside her. The doctor shook her head. “But that’s all speculative. I’ve never seen someone possessed. Her organs are a mess, as if the wraith grew to fill the cavity of her body—not just a spectral force, but a physical one.”
So, technically, I hadn’t killed her. But the act was the same, the murderous rage I’d felt when I wanted to protect Bennett, and didn’t care who I’d hurt. A burning anger that came too easily—and felt too good.
I wondered how long she’d been alive with that thing inside her, using her like a puppet while choking her to death from within. And what about her last words to me? Saying that I needed a weapon—and warning me about a threat, a siren that Neos would send to cripple me? What was that? Could I even trust her dying words?
I thought about her eyes as she died, the pain and the truth shining in them. At the end, that was her. The real Rachel, my long-lost aunt. Lost again, now.
Bennett and I left after that. There was nothing more to say. Downstairs, we passed the room that held the tapestry, and I couldn’t help looking one last time. Was I really the reincarnation of some ghostkeeping legend? The woman’s face looked stronger than the one I saw in the mirror; she looked like someone who’d seen terrible things. She looked like someone who’d done terrible things. I didn’t want to be her, and I definitely didn’t want to become her.
And yet, what happened tonight felt like only the beginning. There would be more blood, more pain, more deaths. Things would never be the same again. Why me? Just because I was descended from the person woven into this tapestry? Did my whole life boil down to ancestry? My parents, who’d lied to me. My brother, who’d disappeared. The previous incarnations of me, who’d fought and died.
I looked from the woman’s face to the ghosts surrounding her. She looked strong and fierce, but she didn’t look happy.
As we descended the imposing front steps of the Knell, I asked Bennett, “Have you ever seen that, a wraith breaking out of a ghostkeeper’s body?” I tried to erase the image of Rachel plunging her wraith-arm into Yoshiro’s chest, and failed.
“No, that was a first.”
“Before she died, Rachel said I needed a weapon.”
He turned toward me and assessed the damage—the exhaustion in my eyes, the bloodstains on my clothes, my hands balled into fists. “What you need is a good night’s sleep. I booked us a hotel. I knew you wouldn’t want to stay here.”
We walked through the front gates to the street. Ghosts and ghostkeepers alike watched as we strode through the ancient lane, back to civilization. Word must’ve gotten out about the attack; they scowled and whispered as we passed.
“They think it’s my fault,” I said to Bennett.
“Ignore them,” he said. “They don’t know anything about you.”
We took a cab to the hotel, and I fell asleep on the way, my face pressed against the sticky black vinyl. Must’ve been the aftermath of all that energy I’d exploded into Rachel. Or just the emotional exhaustion of the day.
I blinked blearily when Bennett gently woke me and escorted me into the lobby of an intimate and chic hotel that my mother would’ve loved. I suddenly yearned for her. She’d never been the comforting sort, but she was at least good for a cuddle when things got this low.
Which was more than I could say for Bennett—we couldn’t even hug. Still, when he sat me in a chair while he checked in, I couldn’t help wondering if he’d reserved one room or two. And though I knew we shouldn’t touch, when he came back with two keycards, my heart sank.
We found my room first, and Bennett waited at the door.
“Will you come in?” I asked. “I don’t want to be alone.”
“Only for a minute,” he said as we went inside. “You need to sleep.”
I nodded, relieved that he wasn’t deserting me. “Do you mind if I jump in the shower? I need to get out of these clothes and … scrub the wraiths off my skin.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean. Go ahead.”
The bathroom was large, considering the size of the room, with elegant fittings and warm beige tile. There were fluffy white towels and lush bath products, and the whole place felt about a thousand miles from the Knell.
After the shower, I slipped into the gray silk robe I’d packed and applied a little lip gloss—and heard the door to the room close. Had Bennett grown tired of waiting for me? I poked my head out and found him sitting on the chair in a fresh navy T-shirt and jeans, his own hair wet.
“I showered, too,” he said. “My room’s the next one over. I tried to be quick.”
I crossed the floor and stood in front of him. “The first time we met, did you know who I was?”
“You were Max’s little sister.” He glanced away. “Don’t you have pajamas? Something high-necked and flannel?”
“You know what I mean, Bennett. Did you recognize me? Know that I looked like Thatcher’s Emma and the one in the tapestry?”
“When I met you, you looked like a geeky little girl in braces.”
“I didn’t wear braces!”
“No, but you looked like you did.”
I narrowed my eyes. “You’re trying to change the subject.”
He took a steadying breath. “Yes, I recognized you. The lady in the tapestry is legendary, Emma. And you not only share her ancestry, but her name.”
I didn’t want to ask my next question, but I had to know. “Did the Knell tell you to pretend to be in love with me, so I’d do what they wanted? Is this all a lie?”
“No.” He took my hands. “Emma, ever since I met you, I knew I shouldn’t care for you. But I did—even then. I couldn’t help how I felt. The last thing the Knell wants is for us to be in love. They think I’ve betrayed them. But I’m sorry, there are powers stronger than ghostkeeping.”
I felt my heart loosen as I stared at our interlocked hands. “I just want to touch you.”
“Me, too,” he said, his voice rough.
I was suddenly aware of my nakedness under my robe. “Couldn’t we … just once?”
He brought my hands to his lips. “You don’t know what you’re asking.”
“I want to be with you. I want to be who we really are, a girl and a boy who fell in love. For one night, can’t we pretend there are no wraiths and no deaths? I want to be a normal girl, who’s not worried about anything except if her boyfriend is going to kiss her everywhere she wants to be kissed.”
He exhaled, and his warm breath caressed my fingers—then he pulled me into his lap. I felt his hands, rough and strong on my skin. He kissed my neck and my ear and whispered, “Yes.”
I touched him, wanting to hold onto every inch of him, forever.
“Just once.” He brushed his lips across my eyelids. “I love you.”
And I closed my eyes, overcome by a wave of love and desire and the aching need to be everything for him.
He lifted me into his arms and said, “Where else do you want to be kissed?”
Later, as we lay entwined, he said, “It’s not that I don’t want to.” He ran a fingertip across my brow. “It’s just that once won’t be enough.”
I looked into his bright blue eyes and cuddled closer. “This is perfect.”