21
Two weeks later, I still hadn’t stopped crying. Every morning I’d wake and the tears would trail down my cheeks until a sob escaped. It took only one week before Natalie stopped knocking on my door, trying to comfort me. She finally understood there was no controlling the flow—those tears were the only thing that got me out of bed in the morning.
I sleepwalked through the final weeks of the semester, hoping that my grades in Latin and Trig would keep my GPA from disaster. I still wanted to go to college, after all—even if that seemed like an impossible dream, with the Knell failing and Neos still living in the Beyond.
On the last day of school before winter vacation, Sara invited me and Natalie to her house to celebrate. Lukas was standing with us at the gates, and Sara got a shy expression on her face before saying, “It’s cool if you want to come, too. Though my surprise is for Emma.”
“A surprise,” I said, flatly. When Natalie poked me in the ribs, I added, “Can’t wait.”
“Wow,” Sara said. “Get a grip on your enthusiasm, Emma.”
I followed them to the car while Natalie explained about Bennett. I should’ve been mortified that my friends were discussing how devastated I was about a guy, but with Bennett it didn’t matter. It was the truth and I didn’t care who knew it.
We gossiped about school and vacation as we drove to the Neck. Sara’s house was the perfect sea cottage, with views of the harbor and the village—if by cottage you meant five thousand square feet of polished wood floors, contemporary kitchen, and modern art. We grabbed sodas and chips in the kitchen, then headed upstairs to Sara’s suite, where we found the surprise.
Harry sprawled over Sara’s yellow satin sofa, looking like a boy with a great deal of experience in sprawling across sofas.
I smiled for the first time in weeks, and jumped into his lap. “I’m so happy to see you!”
“Then why are you crying?” he asked, wiping a tear from my cheek.
“Dude,” Lukas said. “She does that now.”
“What’s wrong?” Harry asked. “Tell Uncle Harry everything.”
“Bennett,” Natalie explained.
“I knew you liked him,” Harry said. “Ever since he tied your tie.”
I started weeping again. “I hate you.”
“Then why are you in my lap?” He grinned.
“Oh please,” Natalie said. “As if you don’t love having a pretty girl snuggle in your lap.”
“Without paying for it,” Sara added slyly.
“Ignore them.” I stood and kissed him on the cheek. “I’m glad you’re you again.”
He turned serious for a moment. “Thank you, Emma. For everything.”
Then Natalie popped her head into Sara’s closet. “What can I borrow?”
“Anything,” Sara said. “Oh, there’s a leather jacket that’d be perfect for you. Now, where did I put that?”
Something rang false in her tone, and I eyed her curiously.
“Harry,” Sara said, still stagy and forced. “Have you seen my leather jacket?”
He furrowed his brow. “I’ll admit to keeping a close eye on your underthings, but your jacket? No.”
“If only there was some way to find it,” she said.
Then a short gray leather jacket with three-quarter sleeves floated into the room. Well, that’s how it must’ve looked to Sara and Harry—but Lukas, Natalie, and I all saw Coby waving it back and forth in a ghostly fashion.
Coby! I said. Where have you been?
Here, mostly, he said with a grin. After I reattached my limbs. Man, that Neos is nasty.
You could’ve told me you were okay. I was worried.
He looked contrite. Well, you wouldn’t understand what it’s like to need time to heal and mourn and cry. And cry, and cry, and cry …
I couldn’t help myself. I laughed.
“What’s he saying?” Sara asked.
So I told them. Apparently the three of them had been hanging out at Sara’s house—almost like old times.
“Watch this.” Harry pulled a beer can from beside the sofa.
“Harry!” Natalie scolded.
“It’s empty. But watch. You know AA has twelve steps?”
He reached for the beer, and Coby snatched it away.
“He’s like the thirteenth step!” Lukas said.
Harry beamed. “Exactly.”
I spent the next couple of hours relaying messages back and forth, and felt better than I had in weeks. When Coby said he wanted to see me turn into a ghost again, I demurred, but he said I owed him.
Fine, I finally gave in. But only because you’re dead.
That struck him as funny, and for the first time since I’d summoned him, I saw him laugh.
I excused myself to the bathroom, pulled Emma’s ring from the chain around my neck, and slipped it on my finger. I slid through the door and flew up to sit beside Coby, where he was perched atop Sara’s bookcase. I landed sort of awkwardly.
You need to practice that, he said.
I know, it’s just so … weird.
You get used to it, Coby said resignedly.
I turned to look at him, still wearing the suit he’d worn for Homecoming, even more crazy good looking in death than in life. Are you really okay? Even with Neos still out there?
You kicked his bony ass, Em.
But he’s still alive and you betrayed him. He’ll come after you.
Probably. And he’ll try to kill you, too. Coby took my hand, and he didn’t burn me because we were both ghosts. But you’re a hero in the Beyond, Emma. Maybe he’s not gone forever, but you beat him. Nobody thought that was possible. We were staring into the abyss, and you stopped him.
I guess.
Stop guessing. He showed me one of his old charming grins. Maybe you still gotta sweat the play-offs, but you know what? You won the game.
We won the game, I said, and leaned against him.
Lukas glanced up at me, and I waved, but he ignored me, too interested in what Sara was saying. Though I noticed him glance at Natalie flirting with Harry, almost like he was jealous.
Which one is he into? Coby said. Sara or Natalie?
Sara, I think. I mean, he and Natalie … My voice trailed off. What if he and Natalie really were falling for each other? Well, they’re both ghostkeepers, so that’ll never work. Anyway, Sara’s still missing you, Coby. We all are.
Yeah. But you know what? I think it’s all going to be okay.
We sat there and watched our friends talking and laughing, and I started to think maybe he was right.
That night after dinner, I slunk into the kitchen and found Celeste scrubbing pans and Anatole putting the finishing touches on a homemade chai milk shake for me. I’d found solace in the two of them lately, maybe because they were the only ones who really understood how I felt about Nicholas.
I’d failed him. I knew that he’d betrayed us, that he’d almost killed us all. And I knew that Bennett did what was necessary to protect me—to protect everything—but I still missed the little urchin, with his big eyes and his annoying mums.
I helped Celeste dry the pots, then sat in the nook and indulged in my milk shake. After a time, Celeste perched on the bench across from me and did her sewing, then Anatole huffed down beside me to engage in some menu planning, which involved a surprising amount of gesticulating and muttering.
After a while, I started feeling better. Sometimes just sitting quietly was all I needed. I washed my milk-shake glass and said good night to Anatole and Celeste. I’d hardly said two words, but they knew I loved them.
Upstairs, I stepped into my room—then froze. A strange shape sat on my bed. My powers flared before I realized: “Bennett!”
His blue eyes were sunken and his black button-down and tattered jeans hung on his sinewy frame, but his smile was perfect. “Don’t ask what I’m doing here.”
So of course I said, “What are you doing here?”
“I couldn’t waste another day.”
“What does that mean?”
“You know what it means. Any day I don’t spend with you is a day wasted.”
My heart lifted. “Do the others know you’re here?”
“No, I snuck in.” He shot me a naughty grin. “I have a secret drainpipe.”
He looked like hell, but all the charm and mystery I’d fallen in love with were still there. Just being in the same room with him made me feel more alive. “And what makes you think I’d collude with your sneakiness? There is an Englishman downstairs who’d like a word with you.”
“The only one I want words with is you.” He somehow made that sound sexy, and my body tingled—for once not because of ghosts. “I was wrong, Emma. We belong together.”
“You don’t think you’ll …”
“Lose my powers?” He shrugged. “If I keep taking the Asarum, I’ll be okay.”
My stomach dropped. “Bennett, no. Please, stop. You’re killing yourself.”
“I can’t stop.” His eyes pleaded with me. “And I can’t stay away from you.”
I was quiet, not sure what to do. I couldn’t stand what he was doing to himself, but the thought of him leaving made me shake.
“Then don’t go.” I pulled him close. He was right. We had to be together. To love each other, no matter what the cost.
He smiled as he ran his hands over me in the moonlight and kissed me. As my eyes closed, I realized he was beginning to feel like someone else. Not the boy I’d spent a night with in New York. He smelled different, looked different, felt different.
And I wondered … could I love this Bennett just as much?