chapter 3
Sera had slept in later than she’d intended, and now she was in a rush. She had to do research for her history report before meeting Kathleen and Danielle for lunch. Kathleen had still been sound asleep when she’d left the room; Sera silently envied her lackadaisical lifestyle, and carefree attitude. For once, she wished that she could be more like Kathleen, and still buried beneath her blankets.
She shrugged off thoughts of Kathleen sleeping comfortably as she climbed the stairs to the library. She walked through the maze of hallways until she came to another set of stairs and climbed them quickly. There were only a handful of people in the large room. Most students were still sleeping off Friday night, and it was only the truly uptight ones, like her, that were here.
She smiled at the librarian, who was used to seeing her, and headed for the back. The history books took up the last twelve rows, and she quickly lost herself within them. Pulling down an armful of books on the bubonic plague she headed for the bean bag chair in the corner. Slipping into the comfy chair, she opened one of the books, and began to read.
“How’s the book?”
She jumped in surprise as someone slid onto the bag beside her. Her eyes widened in amazement as Liam smiled at her and leaned over her shoulder to look at the pages. Instantly her heartbeat sped up as she gazed at his bent, dark head. “Interesting topic to read first thing on a Saturday morning.”
“I always like a reality check in the morning,” she said, smiling happily and still slightly dazed by his sudden presence. “What are you doing here?”
He sprawled out, crossing his long legs in front of him as he placed his hands behind his head. “I thought I’d prowl for good looking girls who come to the library at ten o’clock on a Saturday morning.”
“You must be disappointed then.”
He grinned as he reached over to gently touch a strand of her hair. “Nah, I think I’ve found one.”
She smiled shyly as she leaned back in the bag. “Do you have a report to do?”
He laughed and dropped his arm around her shoulders. “Oh no, I don’t make it a habit to come to the library. I went to your room to see if you wanted to go to breakfast. A very disgruntled, barely discernible, and extremely sleepy Kathleen informed me, and I quote, “Are you nuts? Mumble, mumble, mumble, nine thirty, mumble, mumble, mumble. She’s probably in the library, she’s nuts. Like you!” and slammed the door in my face.”
Sera laughed. “You woke Kathleen up? That’s never good!”
“So I noticed. I won’t do it again.”
His hand began to gently stroke her hair. She leaned her head against his shoulder. Closing her eyes, she allowed herself to drift into his gentle caress. To her surprise, she didn’t feel any fear, or revulsion. She hadn’t felt it last night, well at least not the revulsion, but she had attributed that to the alcohol in her system. She was even more surprised to realize that her lack of fear had nothing to do with the fact that they were in the library, but everything to do with him. She could have stayed there forever.
“Don’t let me interrupt you,” he whispered, laying his chin against her head. “Continue reading.”
“I can’t read, you’re distracting me.”
“Do you want me to leave?”
That was the last thing that she wanted to happen. “No.”
He rubbed his hand along her hair and tilted the book so that he could see it too. “Then we’ll read it together. Nothing like a little death to start the day off right.”
She laughed softly and looked down at the book, but she couldn’t seem to focus upon the words. Her heart was pounding rapidly in her chest, and her body tingled everywhere that it touched against his. “You know what,” he whispered in her ear. “You’re distracting me too.”
She turned to look at him as he began to gently stroke her cheek. His eyes were a dark, volatile green as they burned into hers. She shivered in excitement as he leaned down and kissed her softly. Instantly, she began to melt into his warm embrace, and the gentle pressure of his lips against hers. His tongue lightly brushed against her lips, and she instinctively opened her mouth to his soft caress. He entered her mouth slowly, gently stroking against her as he sent sparks of passion throughout her whole body. He pressed her gently back, slowly lowering himself over her, and enclosing her within the warmth of his embrace.
Something deep inside of her began to stir as she encircled her arms around his back. She felt as if she was losing control, as if there was no one in the world but them, and the fierce emotions he arose in her. His kisses became deeper, more urgent. She met each of his thrusts eagerly, her fingers curling into his back as her whole body responded to his.
“Uh hum.” Sera jumped in surprise and Liam moved quickly aside. She sat up quickly to find Ms. Krinkle, the librarian, staring disapprovingly at them. “I think it would be better if you checked those books out Sera.”
“I’m sorry Ms. Krinkle,” she mumbled. She quickly scooped up the books as her face burned with embarrassment. “I’ll do that right now.”
Unable to bear looking at Liam, she hurried down the long row of books. She walked up to the counter, handed over her college ID, and waited impatiently as a student worker quietly checked her out. She turned to leave and realized that Liam had disappeared. A sense of loss enveloped her, but she was in too much of a rush, and too humiliated, to really think about it. She just wanted to get out of there as fast as she could.
She burst through the doors, grateful for the cool air that helped to ease the burning in her cheeks as she turned to head back to her dorm. Liam was sitting on a bench by the doors, a huge grin on his face. Dark sunglasses covered his eyes, adding an air of sensuality to him that was both thrilling, and disturbing.
“Glad you think it’s funny.”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to embarrass you.” He stood and began to walk beside her.
“It’s my fault.”
“You were quite content until I showed up.”
“It’s all right.”
Her head was spinning with the overwhelming confusion she felt. She had never lost control like this. Although she was enjoying it, she was also angry at herself for it. She knew better than to let herself get wrapped up with someone, knew better than to believe that she could trust someone. But she couldn’t seem to stop herself when it came to him. She needed to get away from him so that she could try to sort out her confusing emotions.
“Have you talked to Michelle today?” he inquired.
“No, why?”
He remained silent for a moment and then looked over at her. “We had a nice chat last night after I left.”
“Really?” she inquired innocently. “About what?”
“She just wanted to apologize about the way that she acted.”
“That was nice of her,” she said more casually than she felt.
“I suppose.”
Sera looked up at him, noting that his jaw was set firmly in anger. “You really don’t like her, do you?”
He shrugged as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his leather bomber jacket. “No, I don’t.”
She wasn’t paying any attention to where they were going until she realized that they were at the frat house. The lawn was littered with trash, empty beer cans, bottles, and plastic cups. The front door was open and two kegs had been tossed onto the sidewalk. “Looks nice,” she commented dryly.
“The cleanup crew will be by later.”
“Cleanup crew?”
“We paid some guys to come by at twelve to clean up the yard, and first floor.”
“I hope you paid them a lot.” She sure as hell wouldn’t want to be the one that had to clean up this mess.
He chuckled softly and took hold of her hand. Sera almost jumped in surprise as a bolt of electricity sizzled through her. “Want to come in?”
She stood silently, staring at the trashed house as she tried to calm her racing heart. Just moments ago she had wanted to get away from him, now she wanted nothing more than to go in there with him. “I don’t know if I should.”
“You won’t get into trouble. Girls are allowed in here,” he teased.
“That’s not it.”
“Then what is it?” he inquired gently.
She chewed on her bottom lip as she turned to look at him. She couldn’t see his eyes, but she knew that he was staring intently at her. “I don’t think I can control myself around you,” she blurted before she could stop herself. As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she hated herself for saying them, and wished that she could kick herself in the ass.
He stood silently for a minute and then gently took hold of her arm. “Come on, I won’t bite.”
“Liam, that’s not it, I mean... oh I don’t know what I mean,” she finished lamely.
His hand on her chin was gentle as he lifted her face. The sunglasses were now resting on top of his head, his eyes were intense, but there was a softness in them that touched her and melted some of her reserve. “I know what you mean Sera. It will be all right, I promise.”
The last of her defenses crumbled at his soft words. She nodded slowly and followed him into the house. More beer bottles, cups, and piles of garbage were tossed across the floors, and the stairs. The furniture was scattered around the house, holes had been punched into some of the walls, and the entire place reeked of beer, and something even less pleasant that she didn’t want to identify. She picked her way carefully around the trash, and the guy passed out at the top of the stairs.
They reached the hallway, and the trail of trash continued to flow. A few people were lying on the floor, but all of the doors were firmly closed. They moved around the clutter as he led her to another set of stairs. The stairway was dark, and narrow, but unlike the others it was completely clean, making it obvious that the party hadn’t been allowed to spread past the second floor. They reached the third floor where he led her to the third door on the right.
She hesitated for a moment before stepping inside. She was instantly surprised by how neat and uncluttered the room was. A full size bed was pushed against the right wall with a black comforter spread over it. A small nightstand was next to it with a lamp and an alarm clock perched on top. There was a desk in the corner with a computer and phone. On the other side of the desk was a small green recliner. There was a small wooden entertainment center against the wall by the door. A TV and DVD player were set up on it.
“Nice room,” she said softly.
“Have a seat.”
She set her books on his desk and stood silently next to it, a little too nervous to sit down. He smiled at her wryly and walked over to the closet. Opening the door he knelt down in front of a small refrigerator. “Want something to drink?”
“No, I’m fine.”
He pulled out a bottle of water and shut the door. He turned to stare at her as he leaned casually against the door. She began to feel incredibly uncomfortable, and foolish. She shouldn’t be here. She didn’t belong here. And she had no idea what he expected of her. Swallowing heavily, she fully realized the situation that she had just put herself in. Her glance darted anxiously toward the door. It was only ten feet away, but it seemed like miles. Would she be able to make it there in time if something happened? Her gaze darted anxiously back to him. He was still staring at her, but he was frowning slightly, and his eyes were dark and questioning as they studied her.
Sera swallowed nervously as her hands began to tremble. He straightened away from the door and walked across the room to sit on the bed. “Do you want to go to a party tonight?” he inquired.
“Where?”
“The Phi Beta house.”
Sera shrugged as she nodded slowly. Her gaze involuntarily shot back to the door. She swallowed heavily as she forced herself to calm down. He was doing nothing wrong, nothing at all. She was acting like an idiot, and if she didn’t stop he was going to notice. The thought mortified her brain into action. “How did you manage to get into the frat house so soon?” she asked in a desperate attempt to distract herself.
He smiled softly, and for a moment she had the distinct feeling that he knew what she was trying to do. “I was in the same frat at my old college. Before I transferred I arranged it so I’d be able to move in here right away. Besides, I’ve known Mike, Jack, and Doug since we were kids.”
Sera smiled softly. “Mike’s a nice guy, not so good at math though.”
“He never has been,” he agreed with a chuckle. “Jack and Doug are good guys too.”
She had seen them at parties over the years, even shared a couple of classes with them, but she’d never really spoken to them. Although, they were among the few frat guys who had never really bothered her, or stared at her like she was a piece of meat. They had always been polite, and distant. To her, that alone made them likable. “I don’t really know them,” she admitted. “But they seem nice. Where did you go to school before?”
“Buffalo.”
“What made you move to Massachusetts?”
He shrugged as he twirled the water in his long, elegant fingers. A shudder tore through her as she recalled those fingers on her body. She tore her gaze away from them and forced herself to look at him. Again, there was a knowing gleam in his eyes as he smiled at her. “I grew up near here, and I thought it would be nice to come home again. I know a couple of guys in this house, and Phi Beta, from high school.”
“Then why did you go all the way to Buffalo?”
“Wanted a change in scenery, something new, but I’m not a big fan of the cold, and after last winter I decided to come back.”
She raised an eyebrow. “This isn’t exactly Florida.”
He laughed softly and placed the water bottle on the floor. “No it’s not, but it’s also not as cold, or snowy as it is up there.” Sera nodded. He smiled warmly as he slid back on the bed and leaned against the wall. “What about you Sera?”
“What about me?” she asked warily.
“Why are you at this school?”
She shrugged and sat on the corner of the desk. She didn’t want to show him how uncomfortable the question made her so she forced herself not to bite her lip as she met his inquisitive stare. “It was far enough away so that I could live at school, but close enough to my family so that I could go home on vacations. Plus, this is a good school.”
“Good reasons. Did you know anyone here?”
“No, but that was the point. I wanted a new beginning, a chance to start my own life, and make new friends. I like the way things have turned out.”
It was only a little lie there was no reason to feel bad for it, she told herself. “That’s good. Why don’t you date?”
She blinked in surprise at the abrupt change of topic. Her hands automatically clenched upon the desk. “Excuse me?”
“Why don’t you date? All the guys around here say that you’ve never dated anyone on campus.”
“You asked about me?” She couldn’t keep the surprise, or the dismay, out of her voice.
He shrugged as he watched her with an amused gleam in his eyes. For a moment she was reminded of a panther studying its pray, unfortunately she seemed to be the pray. She swallowed heavily as apprehension began to prickle its way up her spine. “Just a little.”
Sera’s eyes widened as her heart began to beat wildly. Fear coursed through her, and she had to fight against the violent shaking that wanted to rack through her. “What did they say about me?”
He smiled at her and shook his head. “Don’t worry, it was nothing bad. They just said that you didn’t date anyone, that you never had, and not to waste my time. So, why haven’t you gone out with anyone else?”
Some of the tension eased from her, and she found herself able to breathe regularly again. Then, his words caught her attention. Her brow furrowed as she stared at him questioningly. Why hadn’t she gone out with anyone else? Were they going out? Her heart did a hopeful flip flop, but she quickly buried it.
“Nobody ever asked me,” she replied, “while they were sober anyway.”
“That’s because they didn’t have the courage unless they were drunk.”
Sera smiled softly as she raised an inquiring eyebrow. “What about you then?”
He grinned cockily. “I don’t need alcohol.”
“Conceited,” she commented dryly.
“Far from it. Not having the courage to do something just means that you lose out on it. If you get rejected, so what, at least you tried. Besides, it isn’t the end of the world.”
She nodded slowly, admiring him for a courage that she could never have. “So, how did you know that it wasn’t the alcohol in me last night?”
“I didn’t. That’s why I came by so early, I figured you might still be drunk.” He grinned charmingly, and she felt the rest of her fear beginning to melt away.
“I didn’t have that much to drink last night.”
“No, but you never know how you’re going to feel about someone the next morning.”
“Oh, and how did you feel about me?”
“Very good,” he said with a small smile. “Sit down,” He patted the bed beside him.
She eyed him warily for a moment. She knew that if she got close to that bed, and him, her thoughts and emotions would get all tangled up again. But she desperately wanted to get close to him, to touch him, and to have him touch her. Besides, she didn’t think that he would hurt her. He could have done that last night if he wanted to. She bit nervously on her lip as she released the desk and made her way slowly to him. She sat gingerly on the edge of the bed, her body more tense than she wanted it to be.
“Come on,” he said gently, pulling her slowly toward the head of the bed. “Lie down, you look tired.”
Panic seized her for a moment and she stiffened beneath his touch. Her eyes flew wildly to his as memories suddenly assailed her. Her chest tightened and for a moment she couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move. He slowly moved his hands away from her, and she was finally able to breathe again. He sat silently, his gaze intense as he searched her face. Sera lowered her lashes before he could read too much, and guess at her fear.
“It’s okay,” he said gently.
She fought back the tears that wanted to fall. She had worked so hard to rid herself of her fear of men, and although she had gotten better, she still couldn’t control some of her instinctive, involuntary reactions. She hated herself for it, hated herself for the weakness, and hated the fact that he had witnessed it.
He slid his jacket off and lay down on the bed to give her some space. He didn’t touch her, didn’t force her to lie down. No matter how much he wanted to hold her, he restrained himself from grabbing her. Her back was rigid as she sat on the bed; small shivers racked her delicate spine. A raging anger suddenly tore through him. Something had happened to her, someone had hurt her. His hands clenched at the thought and he had to take a deep breath to steady the fury that was blazing higher within him.
He never felt like this; never let his anger reach such a point. It was dangerous when it did, he was dangerous. But the idea of anyone hurting her was pushing him toward a perilous edge. He didn’t understand why he was unable to resist this girl, why she got to him in a way that no one else ever had.
“I won’t hurt you Sera,” he said softly.
She lifted her lashes to look at him. He could see the tears that shimmered in her eyes, the self loathing that filled them. Those tears touched something inside of him. Something fierce and protective. He wanted to reach up, pull her into his arms, and soothe the hurt that radiated from her. He wanted to shield her from the rest of the world, but he knew that if he reached for her now she would bolt like a frightened rabbit, and never come back. That wasn’t an option.
She bit into her bottom lip, straightened her back in determination, and scooted back on the bed. She lay down beside him, forcing herself not to tremble as he wrapped his arms around her. She hated herself enough for letting him see her weakness without making it worse by shaking like a leaf in his embrace. He drew her closer so that her head rested lightly upon his chest as he began to stroke her hair back.
She found herself slowly relaxing as he made no move to hurt her, made no move other than to hold her gently. He had given her no reason to fear him. It was unfair of her to do so. She smiled softly as she nuzzled into him. His warm body, gently pounding heart, and wonderful, masculine aroma served to comfort and relax her even further. She stifled a yawn as she melted beneath his soothing touch.
“I can’t stay long,” she whispered, trying to keep her eyes open. “I’m supposed to meet Kathleen for lunch.”
“Okay, just rest for awhile.”
He kissed the top of her head, and her eyes slowly started to close. Liam remained staring at the ceiling long after she had drifted off to sleep. His arm involuntarily tightened around her as he lightly stroked her silky hair. He couldn’t quell the protective drive surging through him as she lay trustingly in his embrace, her breathing slow, and even.
His body craved and responded to her in a way that it never had to anyone else. But it was more than just his body that wanted her. She was so warm, caring, and delicately fragile that he couldn’t resist her. In the library he had only wanted to say hi, and to see her, but he had lost himself in her dazzling warmth.
He couldn’t seem to get enough of touching her, of holding her. It was a dangerous game that he was playing, one that he was sure to lose. She had been hurt once before, and he could bring her nothing but more pain. It was against the rules, rules that he had made for the safety of all of them.
Sera stirred slightly, her hand twitched upon his chest. He clasped it gently, running his fingers along her silky skin and delicate bones. Bones that could so easily be broken. His body tensed at the thought and fresh anger tore through him. He was losing his damn mind, he knew that, but he didn’t particularly care. He sighed softly and kissed the top of her head. Rules be damned, sanity be damned.
He didn’t really know her, but for some reason, he knew that he wasn’t going to be able to let her go.