chapter 10
Mike opened the door to Liam’s room and stepped back to let him enter. Liam carried Sera swiftly into the room. Her body was stiff and unyielding against his; her hands were curled in tight fists in her lap. He shifted his hold on her to pull the blankets on the bed back. Sliding her easily in, he pulled the covers up around her as she lay unmoving. “Just get some sleep,” he whispered. “We’ll talk in the morning, all right?”
Her eyes were dull and glazed as she looked at him before turning away to look out the window. She hadn’t spoken a word to him since the gazebo. He didn’t know what to say, or what to do. He had naively thought that somehow he could avoid all of this.
It wasn’t the kind of a secret that you could keep from someone that was as close to him as Sera was. Deep inside, he had known that. He just hadn’t wanted acknowledge it. Now it was slapping him in the face.
He turned away from her. Mike was standing in the doorway his gaze intense as he studied Liam. “We need to talk.”
“Tomorrow.”
“Liam...”
“Tomorrow Mike!” he snapped.
Mike’s gaze was intense and angry as he studied him. His eyes closed as he nodded briskly and left the room. Liam stood for a moment in the quiet room, unsure what to do. Finally, he strode across the room and slid wearily into the easy chair. He sat silently watching as she continued to stare out the window, hoping that she was not afraid of him. Certain that she was. How could she not be?
“You’re safe here,” he told her.
“Am I?” she inquired softly.
He winced at the words. “Yes, you are.”
He turned to look out the window, unable to stand the horror and revulsion in her gaze any longer. The moon had finally risen; its pale light spilled in to illuminate the room. He looked back at her as she lay motionlessly. He watched her for a long time as her breathing became slow and steady. He knew she was still awake.
***
Liam woke with a start and nearly toppled out of the chair. His neck and back ached, he felt as stiff as a board. He groaned as he straightened his aching joints, and opened his eyes slowly. The sun was just touching the horizon. His bones cracked as he walked over to shut the blinds before it woke Sera. She was sleeping on the bed, her head buried beneath the blankets. His heart and body longed to hold her as he watched her for a minute.
He forced himself to turn away and head for the door. He opened it slowly and made his way to Mike’s room and pounded on the door. “What!?” Mike yelled.
“Open up,” Liam grated.
He listened as Mike stormed over to the door and swung it open. Mike glared at him from bloodshot eyes. “When I want to talk you tell me to go away, but it’s all right to wake me up at six thirty in the morning!” he snapped.
Liam glowered at him as he swept into the room. A young brunette sat up in bed, blinking sleepily at them as the blankets fell down to expose her nude body. Liam scooped her clothes off the floor and threw them at her. “Get out,” he ordered.
“What!?” she gasped, scrambling to gather her clothes. “Michael...”
“Go on.” Mike collapsed onto the couch.
The girl cast him an angry scowl as she tugged her shirt over her head. “You’re an a*shole!” she spat.
Mike laughed and draped his arm over his eyes. “Bye sweetie,” he drawled as Liam opened the door, and closed it behind her.
“You know, one of these days I’m going to come barging in on you and Sera,” Mike mumbled. “Kick her out of the room naked.”
“Don’t even think about it,” Liam warned.
Mike removed his arm from his eyes and looked up at him. “Then again, I doubt that she’ll be sticking around for much longer. You’ve messed up Liam, bad. What are you going to do about it?”
“I was hoping you’d have some suggestions.”
“You could make her forget, take the whole night away from her.”
Liam sighed and closed his eyes as he slumped onto the bed. He absently rubbed his temples in order to ease some of the pressure in his skull. The idea was completely and utterly tempting, and the easiest thing to do. He could make her forget about Jacob’s body and everything that had followed afterward. He wished that he could take everything about Jacob away from her, but that would take more power and capabilities than all of them had. Plus, he would have to change Kathleen, Danielle, and Michelle’s memories. It would be too much, but he could make her forget enough so that she was no longer frightened of him.
“I don’t know if I can.”
“Why not? You have the power and the ability to do it.”
“It’s not that.”
“Then what is it?”
The truth was, he wanted her to know, he wanted her to know it all, and he wanted her to decide what she was going to do. If she left him, than he could and would deal with it, but if she stayed... If she stayed there would be no barriers between them. He wouldn’t have to worry about her finding out, wouldn’t have to worry about losing her.
Liam lifted his head to look at him. “I don’t know if I want too,” he admitted.
Mike’s brow furrowed as he swung his legs off the side of the chair and planted them on the floor. “What do you mean?” he asked slowly, his eyes dark with anger.
“I want to tell her the truth.”
Mike’s mouth gaped as he stared at him in stunned amazement. What he had just said went against all the rules, rules that he had made in order to keep them all safe. At the moment though, he didn’t care about the rules.
“Why?”
Liam blinked in surprise; he had expected Mike to explode. Instead, he was still staring at him in shock. “Because I can’t do that to her, I can’t change her memories, I can’t invade her mind like that. I won’t do it.”
Finally anger started to cross Mike’s features. “You don’t have a choice Liam,” he grated through clenched teeth. “You’ve screwed up bad. I don’t know what you want me to say, but you’ve got to do something. There are other people that need to be protected. You know that. If you can’t do it, then one of us will.”
“No one,” he said firmly. “Is going to harm her, in any way, do you understand me?”
Mike looked away from him to stare angrily at the poster on his wall. He sighed as he ran a hand through his disheveled blond hair. “There may be no other option. You have to understand that. I know how you feel about her, but...”
Liam launched to his feet, his hands clenched into fists as he glowered at him. “No! You don’t know how I feel about her,” he spat. “If you did, you would realize that what you’re suggesting is not, and never will be, an option.”
Mike’s eyes snapped back to his. “You need to talk to her. See how things go, but Liam you have to realize what all of this could mean.”
“I do realize what it could mean Mike.”
“No, I don’t think you do,” Mike’s eyes were suddenly weary and resigned.
“Yes,” Liam hissed. “I do. What you don’t understand is that I will kill anyone who tries to hurt her; that includes you.”
Mike’s eyes widened in surprise, Liam had never threatened any of them but he would kill them in order to protect her. “Go talk to her Liam, see what she says. Maybe there’s nothing to worry about, but if there is...”
“No!” he interrupted. “I’m not kidding Mike, you stay away from her; do you hear me?”
“Yeah, I hear you,” he muttered. “I couldn’t hurt her anyway, you know that.”
“Don’t tell anyone else about this.”
“Yeah, whatever, you’re the boss.” Liam nodded and strode to the door. “What are you going to say to her?” Mike asked as he opened the door.
He turned to look at him and shrugged helplessly. “I don’t know yet. The truth.”
Mike snorted as he shook his head. “We don’t have to worry about what to do with her after that, she’ll be locked in the loony bin.”
Liam shot him a scathing glare as he slammed the door. He moved quickly back to his room and opened the door. Sera had rolled over so that the blanket fell away to reveal her exquisite face. She looked angelic and peaceful in her sleep. His heart ached for the pain that she had already experienced, and the hurt that he was going to inflict on her.
He sat on the edge of the bed and gently touched her shoulder. Her eyes opened slowly and she stared up at him, a soft smile spread across her beautiful face. Then, suddenly, it was gone. Remembrance crashed over her features and shuttered through her eyes. She bolted upright; her hair tumbled wildly around her face, and shoulders. Her eyes were huge, and a vivid, startling purple.
“Sera, we need to talk.”
“Are you going to be honest with me?”
“I never wanted to lie to you.”
“Really? Because it’s all you’ve ever done. I feel like I don’t even know you. You’ve been this one person, this person that you’ve let me see, or wanted me to see. This person that I fell in love with, but you’re not that person. And now this. This! Who are you Liam? What are you?”
Tears spilled down her cheeks and she wiped them angrily away. She was mad at herself for crying, and she was furious at him. “I’m going to be honest with you, about everything.”
She laughed and shook her head despairingly. “How am I supposed to know that?” she demanded.
Her words cut into his heart and he winced involuntarily. “I deserve that, but it will be the truth Sera, I promise.”
She snorted and looked away; she rubbed her hands along her arms to ward off the chill that was wracking her. “I hope so Liam, I really hope so.”
He reached out to stroke her cheek. She jerked away from his touch, her eyes burned with an anger that bordered on hatred. He dropped his hand quickly. He was going to lose her, no matter how much she loved him she wouldn’t be able to deal with this. She was going to walk out of this room, and never look back. But, she was going to hear the truth first, she deserved it, and no matter how much he had never wanted her to be, she was involved now.
He stood up and walked across the room, he paced rapidly as he ran his fingers through his hair. “I told you why I didn’t tell you about Michelle, but I didn’t tell you about all the circumstances surrounding her...”
“Don’t you think you should tell me about last night first?” she cut him off sharply.
“No. Last night happened because of her. It will be best to explain her first.”
“Fine.”
“I met Michelle two days before school started. We were throwing an end of summer party here, and she came to it. I didn’t pay much attention to her at first, which I don’t think made her very happy. But it was a game that I was playing. I knew that by not paying attention to her, she would want me more. She was a challenge to me. She wasn’t as hard to get as she pretended to be. By the end of the night, I’d had too much to drink, and I had her. It was quick, it was over with, and it didn’t mean anything, not to me anyway.
“Apparently she thought that it meant more, which I am sorry for. She came by here a couple of times after, but I didn’t talk to her. When she confronted me on it, I told her the simple truth. It was a fling, a one night stand, nothing more, and it was never going to be more. She didn’t take it well, and I can’t say that I blame her. I was a jerk, I know it, but I can’t take it back. But, I wasn’t by myself, she was there too.
“Then, a couple of weeks later, you showed up. I saw you before you saw me. Everyone was talking about you, and guys were fluttering around you like moths, but you didn’t notice. I didn’t know what to make of you. Some said you were stuck up, mainly the girls, but then I noticed you with Kathleen and Danielle, and how open and happy you were with them. The guys said pretty much what guys say. They wanted to sleep with you, they wanted this, or they wanted that. Except, for Mike. He actually told me to stay away from you. To leave you be. For Mike to say something like that… Well it just amazed me, and piqued my curiosity. I had to meet you....”
“Did I become a challenge too?” she asked as her chin lifted defiantly.
He stared at her for a moment and sighed as he ran his hand through his hair again. He didn’t want to tell her this, but she wanted the truth, and he was going to give it to her. “Yes,” he admitted. “You weren’t a challenge in the same way that Michelle was, but you were a challenge.”
“Good to know,” she mumbled bitterly.
“You wanted the truth.” A jolt of anger made his voice tight. “I’m giving it all to you Sera. You were a challenge simply because I had to know more about you, not because I just wanted you in my bed like Michelle...”
“This is just getting better,” she muttered.
“Don’t do that!” he snapped. Her eyes widened in surprise as anger flashed across her features. “All I wanted from Michelle was a one night stand. I wanted more from you, otherwise I would have gone to any of the many willing girls around here after the first night we met, but I didn’t. You were not, and are not, just a stupid conquest, you never have been. That first night, I saw what Mike had been talking about. I saw the hurt in you, the fear, and I knew that I shouldn’t become involved with you, that I should stay away. You had been hurt, and I could do nothing but bring you more hurt.”
“Then why didn’t you leave me alone?” she asked quietly.
“I don’t know!” His frustration and anger had reached a boiling point. She jumped in surprise and winced. Liam took a deep breath and forced himself to calm down. She was scared of him already; he didn’t want to frighten her anymore, especially when he hadn’t even told her the worst part yet. “I don’t know,” he repeated softly. “You are unlike anyone I have ever met, and I wanted to know all about you. The more I learned about you, the more I loved you. I think I’ve loved you since that first night. No matter what happens, from here on out, I will always love you, and I will protect you from anyone that tries to hurt you. Even if you never speak to me again, I will still protect you.”
She stared at him, crying silently as her hands shook in her lap. He walked over to the window and stared out the blinds as he gathered his strength before turning to face her again. “If you decide to leave I won’t blame you, but no matter what Sera you cannot tell anyone what I am going to tell you. If you do, I don’t know if I’ll be able to protect you. I don’t think I would be able to stop them from hurting you. They would kill me in order to get to you. Do you understand me?”
“I don’t want you to be hurt,” she whispered tremulously.
He looked at her in surprise. “Are you worried about me?” he asked incredulously.
She nodded slowly. He closed his eyes and turned back to the window. Pain ripped through his body, and a love greater than he had ever thought he could experience engulfed him. “You know,” he said softly. “I never thought that I could love anyone like I love you. I never thought that I would meet a person like you. I didn’t think they existed.”
“Liam...”
“No one is going to hurt me Sera. You just need to promise me that you won’t tell anyone, please.”
“I won’t tell anyone anything that you don’t want me too.”
He nodded slowly and turned back to her. He felt as if his skin was being ripped away and his soul was being bared. “I’m a vampire.”
The words hung heavy in the air as she blinked at him in dazed surprise. Then, she began to laugh. Hitching in a deep breath, she managed to stifle her laughter as she stood slowly. Her eyes blazed with fury, and her jaw was clenched as she turned to him. “You know, there is something wrong with you. I’ve had it, if you don’t want to tell me the truth, then don’t. But don’t pull this bullshit with me. I’m going to the police!”
“Sera...”
“No!” she snapped. “You have done nothing but lie to me. I’ve had it. I’ve had it with you! You’ve won whatever game you were playing. You’ve won! You can run around and tell everyone you made a fool of me, I don’t care!” She turned and stormed toward the door. “You rotten bastard!”
He moved swiftly, and with deadly speed. He was ahead of her before her hand reached the knob. She froze, unable to believe that he had moved that fast. Suddenly, her mind flashed back to the red in his eyes, and the killing rage that had radiated from him last night. The lack of blood on Jacob, on her sheets. For a moment, she wanted to believe him. For a moment, she actually did.
Then her mind snapped back into place. Back into reality. There was no such thing as vampires. They did not exist. He had done nothing but lie to her from the beginning, nothing but hurt her. She couldn’t believe this insanity. It was impossible. Lifting her chin, she glared at him, her eyes full of a burning fury that rocked him.
“You can’t go to the police. I’m not lying,” he said coldly.
“Get the hell out of my way!” she hissed as her hands clenched at her sides.
He stared at her for a moment and then took a step closer. “Sera...”
She took a couple of steps back. Her anger vanished as despair washed over her. She’d had too much. She simply couldn’t take anymore. “Stop, please,” she begged. “Just stop it. I can’t take this anymore. Do you have any idea how much you’ve hurt me? All I wanted was the truth. Even though you killed him, I didn’t care! I would have helped you. I would have done anything for you! Just leave me alone, let me go.”
She stood with her head in her hands as her shoulders shook with her sobs. He grabbed hold of her hands and forced them away from her face. “I’m not lying to you,” he hissed.
She lifted her eyes slowly, and froze. His eyes were a fierce, blazing red. His beautiful face was twisted into something unrecognizable, something unreal, and horrifying. His long, inhuman teeth hung over his bottom lip. They looked deadlier and sharper than any wolves or lions teeth.
Her eyes widened, her mouth dropped open in horror, and then, she screamed. He slammed his hand over her mouth, silencing her before she could make much of a sound. Liam wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her flush against his chest. She clawed at his hand and kicked backward with such frenzy that he almost lost his hold on her.
Tightening his grip, he lifted her off of the floor. Her body shook and heaved as she dug into his skin. “Sera stop it,” he grated in her ear. “Stop.”
She continued to scream against his hand as her chest heaved with her wild inhalations, and ceaseless struggles. He hissed sharply as her teeth sank into his palm. “Damn it!”
He dropped her onto the bed. She bounced back up and scrambled to get away. He seized hold of her ankle and pulled her back as she cried out. “No!”
He clamped his hand over her mouth again. Her small fists beat impotently against his chest as he straddled her. Seizing hold of her wrists he clamped them firmly together against her stomach. Her muffled cries became softer as tears spilled down her face.
She ceased struggling and went still beneath him. Her nostrils flared with her fierce inhalations. Her chest heaved rapidly as she watched him through wild, terrified eyes. He kept his hand over her mouth as he tried to steady his own breathing, and the wild pounding of his heart. This was not the way that he had wanted this to go.
“I’m going to take my hand away. Don’t scream Sera. I mean it.”
She nodded slightly. He gently eased his hand from her mouth. She inhaled deeply, a tremor raced through her as she shivered beneath him. Blood stained the corners of her mouth, his blood. He wiped it gently away. She winced and turned her head from his touch.
Pain flared through him as he bent his head in defeat. Of course she would be repulsed by him. He was a monster. But he had been hoping that maybe, just maybe, she would be able to accept him. He knew now that she wouldn’t. The knowledge ripped his soul to shreds, and caused fury to tear through him.
“You’re the one that wanted the truth!” he spat.
She flinched as his words tore at her. Yes, she had wanted the truth, but who in their right mind could ever imagine that this was it? That he was some kind of monster. That he was a killer. No one could have. No one who was sane anyway, and at the moment she wasn’t entirely sure that she still was.
She couldn’t stop the fierce shaking that wracked her body. Couldn’t stop the mind numbing horror that filled her. “You’re hurting me,” she croaked out.
His grip on her wrists eased, but he didn’t release her. “Look at me Sera.”
She bit into her bottom lip as she took another shuddery breath. She forced herself to turn her head, open her eyes, and look at him. The monster was gone. It was Liam hovering over her, his green eyes dark with turmoil, and anger. His jaw clenched so tightly that a muscle in his cheek jumped wildly. Even though the creature was gone, he was still dark, and completely deadly.
Another tremor raced through her. She had seen the hunger, and ferocity, in his vivid red eyes. She’d seen the snarl that twisted his features into something inhuman, something that she didn’t recognize. He could kill her in the space of a heartbeat. Rip her throat out and drain the blood from her before she even had a chance to scream, let alone struggle.
Yet, he made no move to hurt her.
She blinked in surprise as that realization slowly sank in. Warmth, and love, suddenly flashed through his eyes, melting the coldness in them, making him more human. A soft sob broke from her. She bit hard on her lip to try and stifle it. The coldness settled back over his gaze and instantly shut out any warmth.
“Now, are you going to listen to me?” He waited for her to nod her acknowledgment. “Good, because not only does my life revolve around this, but so does yours, and so do four others that I care about. Do you understand?” She could only manage another weak nod. “You can walk out of my life Sera, I will understand if you do, but you cannot breathe a word of this to anyone. Do you hear me?”
She took a deep breath and nodded slowly. In that moment she would have told him anything that he wanted to hear. If there was any chance of her being able to escape than she would say, or do, whatever it took.
“Good. Because if you do, I don’t know if I’ll be able to protect you.”
“You’d kill me?” she breathed.
The rage that snapped through his gaze caused her to recoil. Instinctive terror surged through her, and she began to struggle wildly in his grasp. His hands tightened on her wrists as he held her in place. Pain shot down her arms, she cried out as tears sprang to her eyes. His grasp instantly loosened.
“Sera stop it. I don’t want to hurt you.” His words sank slowly in and her struggles ceased. She lay, panting beneath him, as she met his sincere gaze. “I won’t hurt you. I told you that I would protect you no matter what, and I meant it. But there are others Sera. I can’t stop them all. I can’t let you go if you’re going to tell anyone.”
Sera laughed softly as she shook her head. “Who would believe me anyway Liam? They would lock me in a nuthouse if I started talking about a vampire boyfriend in a frat house.”
“Believe it or not, there are people that would believe you. We can’t afford to have that happen, okay?”
“Yes.”
“Do I have your promise that you’re not going to say anything?”
“If I say no, what will you do to me?”
He sighed wearily; his eyes reflected his torment and anguish. “Take you away from here, keep you away from people. I would hate to do it Sera, but I can’t risk our lives being destroyed. You may grow to hate me for it, hell you probably hate me now, but that’s something that I’m willing to live with. As long as you stay alive, and safe, then nothing else matters.”
There were no lies within his eyes. There was only a fierce need for her to understand, and for her to concede to his will. She swallowed heavily, unable to believe that he would let her leave this room if she gave him her word not to say anything. What kind of monster would do that?
Slowly, she began to realize that he wasn’t a monster. That he was still Liam, her Liam. He could have killed her many times already, but he hadn’t. He didn’t have to let her go. He could make her do whatever he wanted. He was ten times stronger than her, and she was fairly certain that she hadn’t even seen a hint of what he was truly capable of. She didn’t hate him; she didn’t think she could ever hate him. She was terrified of him right now, as she had every right to be, but she didn’t hate him.
“Do you promise Sera?”
“Yes,” she whispered.
His head bent as he took a deep, shuddery breath. He released his hold on her and sat back. She levered her arms beneath her and scooted back on the bed as he stood and walked away. Slowly rubbing her tender, bruised wrists, she watched him in silent disbelief. He really was going to let her go.
“You can leave.”
His back was rigid as he stood by the desk. He didn’t turn as she climbed unsteadily to her trembling legs. She looked at the door, and then back over to him. “You’re really letting me go?” she asked in disbelief.
Liam closed his eyes as pain seared through his entire body. “Yes,” he grated. “I don’t expect you to stay with me Sera. I know that I can’t expect that. I know what I am, what I can never give you.”
“And what is that?” she whispered.
He couldn’t look at her for fear that it would melt his resolve. She was the only bright thing in his entire dark life. When she left, she would take all of the light with her, and leave him to drown in the dark. But he couldn’t expect her to stay. He was a demon. He survived on blood. He could destroy her with a single flick of his wrist. He had nothing but blood and death to offer her.
“A life Sera, I can never offer you a life. I won’t age, I won’t die. I can offer you nothing. Now go, before I change my mind and decide that I don’t care about anything, but keeping you with me no matter what it means. No matter how you feel about it.”
Sera’s gaze traveled back to the door. Her heart was ripping to shreds in her chest. She had never known such physically emotional pain in her life. She couldn’t breathe through the constriction in her chest; she could hardly see through the tears burning her eyes. If she walked out of this room, and left him, then a part of her would cease to be. But, if she stayed, then she gave up her hopes of a family, of children. She would grow old and die. He would stay young and alive.
She could always join him. Horror shuddered through her at the thought of drinking blood, and her mind instantly shut out the possibility. She couldn’t do that, no matter what, she couldn’t do that. She had to give him up. She had too. Tears streaked down her face as she took a stumbling step forward, and halted.
“Go Sera,” he hissed. “Leave.”
She sobbed loudly as she fell against the door. “Liam,” she whispered.
He didn’t turn to her. He kept his eyes firmly shut as he stood stiffly, waiting for her to leave. It took every ounce of strength that he possessed not to grab her and keep her from leaving him. It took all he had not to grab her and force the memories from her mind. But he could not, would not, do that to her. To him. It was better to end it now, to let her leave, instead of having to give her up in five years, ten years, when he loved her even more.
The soft touch on his arm caused his eyes to fly open. He had been so immersed in his own thoughts, in his own grief, that he hadn’t heard her approach. “Sera,” he managed to choke out.
“I don’t want to leave,” she whispered.
He swallowed heavily as he fought back the hope that threatened to choke him. “I can offer you nothing.”
She smiled softly as her hand tightened upon his arm. “You can offer me you. I just want you.”
He was frozen as his conscience waged a fierce war with his heart. His heart won out. With a groan he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tightly against him. “I hope you understand what this means,” he said hoarsely.
“Yes.”
“I’m never going to let you go now. Do you understand that?”
“I don’t want you too.”
His heart contracted as his hands convulsed around her. He pulled her tighter and buried his head in her soft, fragrant hair. He had never done anything to deserve her. He didn’t understand how she could love him so willingly, so freely, and so openly. She clung to him, her head buried in his chest, completely vulnerable, and totally giving.
He held her for a long time, unwilling to release her. She yawned softly and he took a small step back. He lifted her gently and crossed the room in three long strides to lay her down on the bed. She clung to his shirt. “Lay with me.”
He smiled softly as he climbed in beside her. She nuzzled closer to him as she savored in his strength and warmth. He held her tightly in his arms, clinging to her as if he was a drowning man and she was his life raft. Which, she was.