For the first time Artemis smiled sincerely, and for some reason the sight sent shivers down Bertholts spine. Do you know something, Bertholt? I think some of my best work will be in banks.
The awkward silence that followed was cut short by a voice from a tiny speaker below the camera.
Yes, Bertholt, we see you. How many?
Two, replied Bertholt. One key holder and one minor. Coming down to open a box.
The lift door slid back to reveal a steel cuboid with no buttons or panels, just a camera elevated in one corner. They stepped inside and the lift was remotely activated. Artemis noticed Bertholt wringing his hands as soon as they began to descend.
Hey, Bertholt? Whats the problem? Its only a lift.
Bertholt forced a smile. Barely a glint of tooth showed beneath his moustache. You dont miss much, do you, Alfonse? I dont like small spaces. And there are no controls in here, for security reasons. The lift is operated from the desk. If it were to break down, we would be relying on the guards to rescue us. This thing is virtually airtight. What if the guard had a heart attack, or went on a coffee break? We could all
The bank officials nervous rant was cut off by the hiss of the lift door. They had arrived at the deposit box floor.
Here we are, said Bertholt, mopping his forehead with a paper tissue. A section of the paper remained trapped in the worry lines of his forehead, and fluttered there like a windsock in the blast from the air conditioner. Safe, you see. Absolutely no need to worry. All is well. He laughed nervously. Shall we?
A bulky security guard was waiting for them outside the lift. Artemis noted the sidearm on his belt, and the earpiece cord winding along his neck.
Willkommen, Bertholt, you made it in one piece. Again.
Bertholt plucked the strand of tissue from his forehead. Yes, Kurt, I made it, and dont think the scorn in your voice goes unnoticed.
Kurt sighed mightily, allowing the escaping air to flap his lips. Please pardon my phobic countryman, he said to Butler. Everything terrifies him, from spiders to lifts. Its a wonder he ever gets out of bed. Now, if you could stand on the yellow square and raise both arms to shoulder level.
There was a yellow square taped to the steel floor. Butler stepped on it, raising his arms. Kurt performed a body search that would have shamed a customs official, before ushering him through a metal-detector arch.
Hes clean, he said aloud. The words would be picked up by the microphone on his lapel and relayed to the security booth.
You next, boy, said Kurt. Same drill.
Artemis complied, slouching on to the square. He barely raised his arms from his sides.
Butler glared at him. Alfonse! Cant you do what the man says? In the army I would have you cleaning the latrines for this kind of behaviour.
Artemis glared back. Yes, Colonel, but were not in the army here, are we?
Kurt slipped Artemiss pack from his back, rifling through the contents.
Whats this? he asked, pulling out a toughened plastic frame.
Artemis took the frame, unfolding it with three deft movements. Its a scooter, dude. You may have heard of them. Transportation that doesnt pollute the air we breathe.
Kurt snatched back the scooter, spinning the wheels and checking the joints.
Artemis smirked. Of course its also a laser cutter, so I can break into your boxes.
Youre a real smart alec, boy, snarled Kurt, stuffing the scooter back in the bag. And whats this?
Artemis turned on the video game. Its a game box. They were invented so teenagers wouldnt have to talk to grown-ups.
Kurt glanced at Butler. Hes a gem, sir. I wish I had one just like him. He rattled a ring of keys on Artemiss belt. And what are these?
Artemis scratched his head. Uh keys?
Kurt ground his teeth audibly. I know theyre keys, boy. What do they open?
Artemis shrugged. Stuff. My locker. My scooter lock. A couple of diaries. Stuff.
The security guard examined the keys. They were everyday keys, and wouldnt open a complicated lock. But the bank had a no-key rule. Only safety deposit box keys were allowed through the metal detector.
Sorry. The keys stay here. Kurt undipped the ring, placing the keys on a flat tray. You can pick them up on your way out.
Can I go now?
Yes, said Kurt. Please do, but pass the bag through to your father first.
Artemis handed the bag round the metal-detector arch to Butler. He passed through himself, setting off the buzzer.
Kurt followed him impatiently. Do you have anything else metallic on you? A belt buckle? Some coins?
Money? scoffed Artemis. I wish.
Whats setting off the detector, then? said Kurt, puzzled.
I think I know, said Artemis. He hooked a finger inside his top lip, pulling it up. Two metal bands ran across his teeth.
A brace. That would do it, said Kurt. The detector is extremely sensitive.
Artemis removed his finger. Should I take this out too? Rip it from my teeth?
Kurt took the suggestion at face value. No. I think were safe enough. Just go on through. But behave yourself in there. Its a vault, not a playground. Kurt paused, pointing to a camera above their heads. Remember, Ill be watching.