“All right, do you want to lead discussion about that?” Greg asked.
Everyone looked at Hugh, and I realised something in that moment, which is that they took him totally seriously, even though he was only fifteen. They didn’t just let him come to the meetings, they thought he could lead one. They’re the same with me, they don’t look at me as a remarkable dancing bear, they listen to what I say.
“I’m not sure there’d be enough discussion material for a whole meeting,” Hugh said. “But there are the other books in the series.”
“If we run out of things to say early, we can always adjourn to the pub,” Harriet said.
“I think it’s a good idea. We haven’t talked about a children’s fantasy since we did the Narnia books,” Greg said.
“I suppose they have Father Christmas in,” I said, and everyone groaned.
“Worst thing in them,” Keith said.
“Tolkien hated that,” someone else said, a little dark man. “He said it wasn’t internally consistent. Father Christmas and Bacchus and boarding schools and everything all mixed in like a Christmas pudding with raisins and candied peel and sometimes breaking your teeth on a sixpence.”
I joined in the general laughter, and then it was time to go.
I thought I might be a bit shy with Greg on his own, but I wasn’t. We talked about Dying Inside, which we hadn’t talked about properly in the meeting. Greg said it was impressive how Silverberg had taken an idea other people had always seen as a blessing and made it into a curse.
FRIDAY 14TH DECEMBER 1979
Exams, and Wednesday and yesterday too. It took me until today to finish writing up Tuesday night.
SATURDAY 15TH DECEMBER 1979
I met Janine as arranged. Hugh was there too. He looked a little self-conscious at first. He also looked a lot more like a human being out of that purple blazer. I wish I could wear my own clothes on a Saturday. Or at all, really. Wearing a uniform seven days a week is like being in prison.
“Hope you don’t mind if I tag along,” Hugh said, sounding like someone in a book, and also as if he’d been rehearsing saying that. Janine and Hugh—and Pete, and Greg, and everyone who goes to the book club except Harriet—have local accents. The Shropshire accent isn’t a pretty one, but it’s nicer than the Received Snob I have to listen to all the time at school.
“Not at all,” I said. “Though we’re just going to do some shopping.”
I had six books at the library, all heavy hardbacks, which was actually a bit of a drawback as far as shopping goes. I couldn’t leave them there until afterwards, because of course the library closes at noon. I put them in my bag, sighing, and then Hugh offered to carry it. “No,” I snapped, not declining politely at all and clutching my bag as tightly as I could. “I always carry this bag, it’s mine, I don’t feel comfortable without it,” I explained.
Janine looked at me sideways. “How about if Hugh carried the library books in a carrier bag?” she asked.
“That would be all right,” I said. “I mean that would be very kind of you, Hugh.”
Hugh blushed. He’s got sort of sandy hair and freckles, and his blushes show up. Janine and I ignored it. I transferred my library books to a carrier bag Janine produced and Hugh carried it as if it weighed a feather instead of half a ton. We went down the hill to the bookshop, sort of automatically, as if that’s the way all our feet wanted to turn. I said that to them.
“Bibliotropic,” Hugh said. “Like sunflowers are heliotropic, they naturally turn towards the sun. We naturally turn towards the bookshop.”
In the bookshop I bought The Mote in God’s Eye for Daniel. I don’t know whether he’s got it or not, but in any case I want to read it. I was going to buy The Dark Is Rising so I could read it before Tuesday, but Janine offered to lend me her copy instead. We went and had buns, but we didn’t talk about anything personal this time, probably because Hugh was there. We talked about reading children’s books when you weren’t a child any more, and what Lewis and Tolkien had said about it, and Hugh’s embarrassment at having mentioned one at the book club and his astonishment when Greg thought it was a good idea.
“Is this the first time you’ll have led a meeting?” I asked.
“Yes. But Pete’s done it twice, and Janine’s done it once, and Wim’s done it several times.”
“What did you do?” I asked Janine.
“The Pern books. Did you know there’s a third one coming out soon? It’s called The White Dragon. I can’t wait.”
“Do you like them?” I asked Hugh.
He looked uncomfortable. “Sort of,” he said. “There were things that made me uncomfortable, in Dragonquest in particular. I love the world and the dragons.”
“Perhaps they’re books that appeal more to girls,” I said.
“No, Pete loves them,” Janine said. She stirred her tea, although it couldn’t need stirring.