He knew what he wanted of his mother’s, and he found it in one of the dresser drawers. It was her warrior pin, something she’d kept despite her obvious disdain for her home country. He also took a necklace and a ring he knew had been gifts from her parents when she was young. He tucked them into his pocket and quickly walked out of the room.
Relief flooded his veins as he headed for the door leading out of the royal suite. He’d been avoiding that for so long, and now he wished he’d done it earlier, just to get it over with.
He stepped out of the suite and into the castle hallway to find Galo waiting with the guards. Cas looked at him in surprise, some of the tension leaving his chest at the sight of his friend.
“You’re back,” Cas said.
“Just now.” Galo’s eyes skipped to the sketchbooks in Cas’s arm. He murmured to the other guards that they could leave.
“Are you going to stop having them follow me around everywhere? It’s really not necessary in the castle,” Cas said as they walked away.
“I’ll ask them to back off now that we’re settled.” Galo glanced at the doorway behind Cas. “Is everything all right?”
“They’re cleaning it out tomorrow.” He gestured to the notebooks. “Just picking up a few things.”
Galo squinted at him, because Cas hadn’t really answered the question.
“How was the trip home?” Cas asked, turning and walking in the direction of his rooms.
“Fine. Odd. I need to talk to you, when you have a chance.” He said the last sentence in a rush, like he needed to get it out quickly.
“I have a chance now,” Cas said.
Cas led them to his sitting room, and dropped the sketchbooks on a table. He’d find another spot for them soon. Preferably somewhere he didn’t have to look at them.
He sank into a chair and gestured for Galo to sit across from him.
“I’d like to resign as captain of the guard,” Galo blurted out.
Silence followed that statement. Cas could hear the clock ticking behind him. “What?”
Galo clasped his hands together, his face more nervous than Cas had ever seen. “I’d like to resign as captain. And I’d like to leave the guard entirely, if you’ll allow it.”
“Why?” Panic flared in Cas’s chest. Both of his parents were dead, his cousin had fled—she was probably plotting to kill him right this moment—and the girl he loved could only send messages to him through random maids she rescued. Galo was one of the only people he had left.
“I’m not qualified to be your captain,” Galo said. “You only gave me the position because we’re friends. There were dozens of other guards who would have been more qualified.”
“Not anymore,” Cas pointed out. A good number of guards were killed when Olso invaded the Lera castle. Many more were killed at the battle of Fort Victorra. They were in the process of recruiting more men and women to train.
“There are still plenty who are more qualified,” Galo said. “I’d be happy to give you suggestions.”
“Don’t you think that knowing me well makes you the most qualified?” Cas asked.
“No. I think it’s a hindrance, actually.”
“How so?”
“I’m concerned with what you want. I let you sneak out of the castle—”
“That was a different time,” Cas said. A safer time.
“Still, our friendship is not helpful to your safety. Obviously. You’ve recently been stabbed, poisoned, and taken an arrow in the shoulder.”
“You weren’t there for the arrow,” Cas said.
“Because I lost you.”
“I don’t think we can reasonably blame you for Olso invading Lera.”
“I was there for the stabbing and the poison.” Galo raised his eyebrows meaningfully.
Cas let out a dramatic sigh and slumped back in his chair. “You’re one person. You can’t take all the blame.”
“I’m not a good captain, Cas. I’m inexperienced. You need the best right now. It’s the perfect time to change leadership, when we’re putting the castle back together.”
A little voice nagged at Cas, whispering that it was true. He had given the position to his friend. It was only weeks ago when they rode through the jungle and Cas offered him the job, but it felt like a lifetime. He was rebuilding his guard, and perhaps a change wasn’t the worst idea.
“But you want to leave the guard entirely?” Cas asked.
“It doesn’t feel like the right place for me.” Galo clasped and unclasped his hands. “Honestly, I’ve never really liked being a guard. I joined because I didn’t have many other options, and then I stayed because of you.”
“Oh,” Cas said, suddenly feeling very stupid that he hadn’t known that. He’d assumed Galo wanted to be captain of his guard. He’d never even asked.
“I still want to help, though,” Galo said. “I just don’t think that the guard is the best place for me.”
“Is there something you’d rather do?” Cas asked. “I have a lot of open positions at the moment.” He smiled when he said it, but there was no humor in his voice.
“I will go wherever you would like me. I could join the soldiers, maybe. At least until we resolve the Olivia situation. I’m good with a sword.”
“Maybe.”
“In the meantime I can go to one of the shelters. I won’t take up the guards’ quarters.”
“No, you won’t. I’ll have a room made up for you. How about Jovita’s old room?”
“No, that not nec—”
“Don’t argue.” Cas said it firmly, and Galo snapped his mouth shut. “I’m actually quite eager to give that room away.” He was still waiting to hear an answer about Jovita poisoning him, but the flare of anger still accompanied the thought of her. “Think about what you’d like to do. And come up with a few names for your replacement. You’ll need to continue your duties until I’ve picked someone.”
“Of course.”
“And if you change your mind, you’re always welcome back on the king’s guard.”
“Thank you.” He said it stiffly, like it was an automatic response, not an option he would actually consider.
“I’m sorry,” Cas said. “I feel like I should have known that you didn’t like it.”
“That’s ridiculous. There’s no way for you to know if I didn’t tell you.”
“Well, true.” Cas laughed even though he still felt stupid. “Did something happen with your parents that made you want to leave now?”
“No . . . yes . . . I don’t know.” Galo leaned forward, resting his elbows on his thighs. “My father isn’t usually proud of me, and he suddenly was, over something that I knew wasn’t right for me. It made the decision easier.”
Cas blinked, a little taken aback. “Your father isn’t usually proud of you?”
“No. I never did that well in school, which was something he really valued. He saw my joining the guard as a last resort.”
“Was it?”
“No. Staying in Mareton and working at the mill or in the fields was the last resort. Being a guard was several steps before last resort. And he knew that. He just didn’t like making things easy for me.”
“Oh. I’m sorry.” Cas realized suddenly that Galo knew everything about Cas’s family, but Cas knew very little about his. “But now that you have his approval, you’re going to give it up?”
“Well, it turns out I never wanted his approval.” Galo gave him a sad smile. “I know you understand that.”
“Yes.” Cas leaned his head back with a sigh. “I really do.”
SEVEN
“THERE’S STILL TIME to change your mind.”
Galo dropped a shirt into his bag and looked up. Mateo stood in the doorway of his room, his arms crossed over his chest. He was off duty and wearing an old gray shirt that was frayed at the sleeves but clung nicely to his lightly muscular frame. Galo had always liked that shirt.
“I’m not going to change my mind,” Galo said. He’d lost track of how many times he’d said that over the past few days. It wasn’t just Mateo; the guards, the staff—they all thought he’d change his mind about leaving the guard.
Mateo blew out an annoyed breath. “Did they even find a new captain yet? Why are you moving out?”
“Cas is finishing the interviews tomorrow. And I’m not moving out, I’m just going upstairs.” He pulled the string tight on his bag and slung it over his shoulder. He didn’t have much. He wore the clothes issued to the guard most of the time, and he’d brought very little from home. “You want to come with me?”