“Fine. I’ve liked you for a while now. More than a while actually.”
He frowns and suddenly looks very nervous, which is ridiculous since I’m the one who’s pouring my heart out.
“How long is more than a while? How long before Christmas?”
“Um…two years.”
“Two years?” he blurts out, his mouth open. He equally looks at me and the road, constantly turning his head.
“We can have this conversation while you watch where we’re going.”
He cuts me a look before turning forward. “Two years, Tex?”
“Yeah, well, you look like that, and we’ve always gotten along really well.”
“We have. Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
I laugh at that because, no, it’s not like I would have told him. “Oh, come on! You’re young and in a band. When we met, it was the early days for Filthy Sound, and you were living it up to the fullest. And by that, I mean, you were sleeping with everything with a pulse. You weren’t ready to be in a relationship. It would have ended badly.”
He swallows, and I can tell he wants to deny it, but he can’t. Kitt doesn’t want to admit that he didn’t want me back then, but it’s okay. I’m fine with it. Besides, he does now.
“It could have worked,” he says.
“You don’t even believe the words that just came out of your mouth. It’s fine. Really. It didn’t hurt that much.”
“That much?” He slams on the brakes, like a fucking lunatic, and swings the car into a lay-by.
Ted pulls in behind us, but he must sense our safety isn’t the reason Kitt stopped because he doesn’t get out.
“Kitt!” I shout, grabbing the dashboard. “What’s wrong with you?”
“Did I hurt you?”
I shrug. “It wasn’t intentional. Forget I said anything.”
“I can’t forget it. Talk to me.”
“It doesn’t matter anymore. We’re together.”
“Texas!”
“What? There’s no point in dragging this up. I’m happy with you.”
“Tell. Me,” he growls, fisting the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles turn white.
“Ugh! All right, yeah, it hurt. It hurt so fucking much every time I saw you with another woman that I wanted to die. The week before the tour was especially hard because it was the first time I saw you ready to shag someone else while I was in love with you. You didn’t even see me that night, Kitt, but I was there. I left very quickly after I saw you with her. Every time, I told myself that I was okay, but I never was. Watching you kiss someone else, knowing she was soon going to know what it felt like to have you inside her, when I wanted you so badly, I felt like I was going to explode. There. Are you happy? Is that what you needed to hear?”
We’re both breathing hard, and he’s staring at me in horror.
Maybe that was a little too honest.
I see tears in his eyes, and I instantly regret what I said.
A simple, Yes, sometimes, it hurt, would’ve worked too.
I take a breath. Calm yourself down. Now. “Kitt, I’m sorry.”
“No. You’re not the one who should be sorry.” He sounds breathless, in a painful way.
“Neither are you. You didn’t know how I felt. You couldn’t have known. If you’re unaware, you can’t be responsible.”
“I’m so sorry I hurt you.”
I groan and cover my face. “That’s not why I told you.” At this moment, I don’t really know why I did.
“I know it isn’t, but I hate that I’ve caused you pain.”
“You didn’t know. Things are good, and you make me so happy. Please, can we forget it?”
“I swear, I will never hurt you again.”
“That’s not a promise you should be making. We don’t know the future.”
“Not true. I’m looking at mine,” he whispers.
Oh, sweet Jesus. That does things to me that makes me feel like I’ve suddenly defied gravity.
Letting go of the steering wheel, he leans over and presses his forehead to mine. “You love me. You said you’re in love with me.”
Yeah, great, I blurted that out as well. “I know I did.”
Well done, you.
I’m such a fucking genius.
“Tell me again,” he murmurs.
“Why? I’ve told you once, and you’ve not said it ever.”
I have a moment of pure fear rush through my body. What if he didn’t plan on saying it because he doesn’t feel it yet? I want to hear those words from him more than I want anything but not if he doesn’t mean it. I don’t want those three little words to be whispered out of pity.
He smiles, and his thumb brushes over my jaw. “Texas, I love you. Of course I do. I love you more than I thought it was possible to love another person. I love you so much that it terrifies me.”
My throat feels thick.
“Kitt, I love you.” It’s all I can manage to choke out.
“I’m going to kiss my girl now,” he says, wiping a tear from my cheek.
“Okay,” I whisper just before his lips land on mine.
He kisses me slow and deep, and it’s filled with love and adoration.
TEXAS
THURSDAY, MAY 21
BRINDISI, ITALY