I can’t help from getting swept up in his excitement. He comes alive when he talks about music and the band. I love his passion. And I don’t just mean his passion for music.
A part of me wonders what he’d do if I came on to him. Like properly. Would he take things further than we’ve already gone?
“I can’t wait to watch you.” My voice is too quiet. I sound ridiculous.
“Well, I can’t wait for you to watch me.”
Okay, where is this going? Because I would really like to watch him.
“Eggs?” I ask, mentally whacking myself with something hard.
Nice one, Texas. Now, you look like a total moron.
Kitt laughs. “Eggs sound good. Your bacon is going to burn soon, by the way.”
Gasping, I spin around and take the pan off the heat. There’s not a whole lot I can do on tour besides trying to keep them in check, so I want performance day breakfasts to be perfect.
While he’s still laughing behind me, I hear Kitt grabbing two mugs for our coffee.
“Is there anything else you need me to do?” he asks.
There’s plenty but nothing I can say aloud.
“Nope. I think I’m good. Thanks. You just sit and wait for food.”
I turn the heat down, so the food will take a little longer because I don’t hear any signs of life coming from the bedrooms above.
Taking my drink, I sit opposite of Kitt at the table, and my phone buzzes with a text.
Darling, wish the boys good luck. XOXO.
It’s Jennifer. She could text Dad, but since she hit the big time, she doesn’t need him anymore. Having his child was enough to rocket her career to the top. Things she wants to ask him go through me now.
“You going to reply to that?” Kitt asks.
He’s read it, too, because my phone is lying on the table, and I didn’t bother to pick it up.
“Doesn’t really require a reply. Good luck from Jennifer.”
Dipping his head, he picks up his mug and correctly chooses to leave the topic of Jennifer alone.
My mother is kind of a sore subject. I wouldn’t change my life or the way I grew up. Dad’s the best, and he made sure I never felt unwanted, but some real and meaningful interaction with the woman who brought me into this world would have been nice.
Why should I go out of my way when she can’t be bothered?
“After-party tonight,” he says, grinning.
“Now, that, I’m looking forward to.”
He laughs, and his eyes turn lava hot. “Me, too,” he rasps.
He’s thinking about the cage. Oh my God!
After breakfast, I wait in the bus with Ted while the guys go off to do a final sound check and familiarise themselves with the venue. There’s no reason for me to be there quite as early, so I have a quick shower, change, and lie down on my bed.
I’m tired and aching, so a nap is everything right now. Because no one can nap before reading the entire Internet, I scroll through Twitter.
There is tons of support for Filthy Sound. In fact, they’re trending! There’s a lot of #MarryMeKitt.
Get in fucking line, darling.
And people are saying they want Cooper’s children and to have sex with Milo on the stool he sits on while playing the drums.
When they’re in the media more, there’s an increase of photos. I hate photos. Kitt will never refuse a fan a picture or autograph, and it always comes back to bite me on the arse, especially when he takes slutty photos with the women he wants to feel up. They never have an issue with his tongue down their throat or his hand inside their bra or on their arse. In fact, they often actively encourage it.
Not that Kitt needs any encouragement.
I bite down on my tongue as I torture myself by flicking through some of them. Kitt’s not mine, I’m fully aware of that, but it still hurts every time I see him with someone else. We might have kissed and whatever a couple of times, but that doesn’t mean anything, not really. He’s done more with countless women, and they’re never seen again.
Kitt has called me beautiful before, he’s admitted he’s attracted to me, we’ve kissed twice, and we’ve shared something much more intimate, so I know there’s something between us.
Is it just my dad, or is Kitt not that into me?
Nothing would make me change my dad, no chance, but it would be nice if his status didn’t matter so much. Peyton couldn’t care less. I wish Kitt could say the same.
He’s not holding back because of who your dad is. It’s who your dad is to him. Still doesn’t help you though.
I turn my nose up. So many selfies of women with the Filthy Sound hashtag are flooding Twitter.
Filthy Sound is getting the recognition they deserve, and I love that, but I really wish the women would love them a little less. Jealousy is an ugly emotion but one of the hardest to control. I’ve learned that a thousand times over since I met Kitt.
I try hard not to let it bother me, but by now, I know it’s pointless to push myself. I feel what I feel, and until I stop loving Kitt, I’m going to want to scratch the eyes out of every woman he gropes. Or I’ll start drinking the harder stuff more often.