He makes me feel different, too, like I’m not just another woman to mess around with, like I’m special. Sometimes. Then, there are many, many occasions when he makes me feel like I’m falling into a bottomless black hole.
At this moment, I feel like there’s no one else. I don’t want to hide my body away. He wants to see me, and I want him to as well.
“How am I different?” I ask.
“You’re not a game I’m playing, Tex.”
Well, that’s good to hear. If he were just pushing the limits with me because he had a problem with following the rules, I’d lose it.
“Then, what are you doing? Because this definitely wouldn’t be okay with my dad.”
“I’m not looking to strip for your dad. Right now, I only care about what you think…what you want.”
“You’re asking what I want?” Best to not go there. “Are you going to regret this in the morning, Kitt?”
“Regret? No. Will I feel guilty as hell when I look him in the eyes tomorrow? Yes. But remembering one major detail makes it easier.”
“What’s that?”
“You’re an adult, and you’ll never be a one-night stand.”
Bloody hell. My lungs deflate—in a good way.
If we did this, it’d be the start of something. It’s dangerous to think about more with him. It could end so badly for me. I should be smart and think it through. But I can’t. When I’m around him, there is no thinking, no logic, and no consequences. It’s a bad combination, and I know I should stop.
But with Kitt, I can never stop.
TEXAS
FRIDAY, MAY 8
PARIS, FRANCE
The morning before a show is a chilled one, which is good because I’m so tired that I feel like my eyes are bleeding.
Last night, Kitt and I stayed up until four a.m. We fell asleep on my sofa. No funny business happened. It was nice. Thankfully, we were up in time to get back on the bus. We’ll be at a different location in Paris tomorrow, so we checked out of the hotel, and now, we’re heading to tonight’s venue.
There’s a lot to do throughout the day to prepare, especially since Enigma and Filthy Sound like to have a hand in everything, but the mornings are for eating good food and drinking your own body weight in coffee.
As the tour goes on, it’ll be harder to get them all up, but I do it every time. While we’re all together, it’s not always easy to spend quality time when about a hundred things are happening all at once.
I turn the bacon and sausages, bumping along to Kings of Leon. What I really want to listen to is one of Filthy Sound’s numbers, but I’m already failing big time in keeping my feelings for Kitt under wraps.
No need to add to it. Desperation doesn’t look good on anyone—except for Kitt when he was kissing me in the cage.
Don’t think about that, Texas.
Kitt is the first one out of his room, which isn’t unusual. I don’t think he went back to sleep when we hit the road for all of the thirty minutes.
Lazy musicians this morning. Jimmy used to get up early with me, but since Kitt’s been around, he’s been sleeping in, no longer feeling bad that I might be alone. It wouldn’t have bothered me anyway, but I did appreciate his company.
“I think I’m dying, Tex,” Kitt groans.
“Did you, by any chance, drink too much of my minibar?”
Jamming his fists into his eyes, he nods.
He changed his T-shirt. This one is white and plain. It doesn’t do much to hide his tattoos, which kind of turns me on. We’ve not even slept together, and I want him all the time.
With my ex, Xander, it was never like that, and we’d had sex. I was self-conscious with Xander, but I let Kitt maul me in public. He makes me feel sexy with one look. It’s unintentional, and he probably does the same to every woman he looks at. It’s those come-to-bed deep blue eyes that do it.
Yeah, you really need help.
“You okay, Tex? You’ve not moved in a while.”
“Right,” I say, turning so that he doesn’t see the colour of my cheeks. My face feels like it’s on fire, so no doubt, my cheeks are red. Thank God he doesn’t know he just witnessed me imagining having sex with him.
You’re tragic. Get a grip.
Nodding my chin toward the coffee pot, I say, “Coffee is ready. Can you pour me one, too, please?”
Caffeine will help clear my dirty thoughts. I hope.
“Oh my God!” I spin around. How could I forget?
He’s far too close. For a split second, we’re back in the cage, and desire pools between my legs.
Clear head, Tex.
“I’m such an idiot. Today is huge for you. First show on your first tour. How are you feeling?”
He takes a little step closer, and his chest is centimetres from mine. The floor whips away, and I’m free-falling. I want him to kiss me so bad. My lips…yes, my lips ache.
Gulping, he clears his throat. “I’m fine besides a headache. I’m excited and nervous and anxious all at once. I want to be out there now.” He’s animated, and it makes his whole face light up.