How could I be around him, knowing I’d had him once? I couldn’t. Things would get messy. I can hide what I feel for him, but I know I couldn’t hide the level of heartbreak I’d feel after being another one of Kitt Daniels’s one-night stands.
Nope.
I can be strong. I can resist him because I can’t handle losing him.
And I can get drunk—when my dad’s not around, that is.
“All right, no shagging talk,” he says, his mouth lifting at the corner.
“I’m not one of the guys, remember?”
“Right. Occasionally, I forget.”
“Wow,” I mutter. Yep, that hurts, too.
“No,” he says, laughing. “Come on, I didn’t mean it like that. I don’t see you as a guy. But I’m just…really comfortable around you. Never had that with a girl before.”
That’s something, right? Right? I think so. Unless he’s thinking comfortable, like an old slipper. I want to be his everything, not his slipper.
“That’s good?” I ask cautiously. My heart is sprinting with nerves. This is a conversation that could go either way, and so far, not much with Kitt has gone the way I’d like.
“It’s good,” he confirms. “It’s just a little new, and sometimes, I suck at being your friend and remembering you’re a girl.”
Yep, didn’t go the way you wanted.
I blow out a breath. “Well, this has been enlightening. Drink?”
I need to get away from him for a minute.
“Er, sure. I’ll take another beer, please.”
Forcing a smile that probably looks like I want to kill him—I’m not far off—I get up and walk to the little kitchen area.
Hold. It. Together.
I jump when Will stands beside me. He’s far too close. He must have heard. Great.
“Are you okay?” he asks, lowering his voice so that no one else can hear.
“I’m just dandy.”
“Texas…”
I shrug and grab a beer for Kitt. “I’ll be okay. It’s nothing I didn’t know already.” That’s a bit of a lie. I knew Kitt didn’t want more because he’s been pretending our kiss never happened, but I didn’t think I was just a girl version of Milo and Cooper to him.
“Are you sure you’re all right?”
I give him a smile, and with a pinup-model bottle opener, I pop the lid off Kitt’s beer. “I’m fine.”
Never has a person who has said, I’m fine, ever been fine.
I sit back down, but this time, I’m opposite Kitt—for safety reasons. Thankfully, the conversation has moved away from Kitt not thinking of me as an actual woman. They’re going over their set, making a couple of changes to a new song that I already think is perfect. Will is beside me with Dad and Jimmy next to him around the table.
This is what I love.
Beers are scattered around the table, two each at a time. Pissheads.
I bite my lip, barely able to hide my excitement, even after what’s just happened. The tour bus is like a home away from home. I don’t care what anyone says; traveling by bus is cool—but not a public transport bus. I imagine that would suck.
“Excited, Tex?” Kitt asks, smirking at me from behind his beer.
The very tip of the glass bottle grazes his bottom lip, and I gulp.
I nod. “You know I love being on the road.”
And this one is a four-month tour. I do wish Jimmy’s wife were with us though. But I suppose I don’t mind being the only girl. It’s been that way before.
“Right,” Coop says. “Same bet. Same stakes. Closest one to banging thirty girls wins.”
Ah, the bet, the one that Cooper starts when he goes…well, anywhere. He really is a pig.
“Obviously, excluding Jimmy,” Cooper adds. “Saskia would have his balls. And Kitt’s out, too.”
Seconded.
Kitt laughs. “And why am I out?”
If his question wasn’t laced with humour, I’d want to throw something at him.
“Because you don’t take the game seriously, man.”
“Does anyone?”
Yes, some do—Will, Cooper, and Milo, to be exact. They know women throw themselves at them, and they lap it up. I actually think that’s why Will hasn’t settled down.
Coop swallows loudly. “Are you going to take part properly, Kitt?”
No. The answer is no.
Kitt turns his nose up. “No, thanks.”
I immediately brighten, and Will tries not to smile. The temptation to tease me over my crush is probably very strong, like it was when he found out I liked Chad Michael Murray. I was thirteen at the time, and Will found great pleasure in making cardboard cutouts of Chad’s face and changing my screen saver to shirtless pictures of him.
If Will starts to do that with Kitt, I’ll throw him off the bus.
“Suit yourself, but one day, you’re gonna get old, and it’ll fall off. Or worse, you’ll get a girlfriend, and you’ll wish you’d screwed around more.” Coop picks up his beer and takes a long swig.
“Oh, Jesus, you’re going to be one of those sad, dirty old men, screwing your way through the local university in your sixties, aren’t you?” I say.
“Texas,” Dad scolds.
I roll my eyes.
“Damn right I am!” Coop replies.
Lovely.
“Come on, we all know Coop’s future after the band,” Kitt says.
Yeah, we do. He’ll be exactly what I said, and he’ll love every second of it.