Her eyes widen a bit. She seems to tense up. “Let me get changed,” she murmurs.
The door shuts. I hear the soft rustling of clothes and the clink of a metal hanger.
I immediately regret bringing up the kids topic. Tessa always gets quiet when I mention her and Luke starting a family, and if I pry she shuts down even more, changing the conversation or just leaving the room entirely. I think the whole thing worries her. She lost Luke three years ago because she didn’t think he wanted kids. Even though they’re solid now and married, I think a part of her still fears something tearing them apart.
After several minutes, her dressing room door opens and she steps out, holding the lingerie she went in to try on—a plum-colored, lace-trim babydoll.
She sits down next to me, crossing her one leg over the other and clutching the garment.
“I’m buying this. My boobs look enormous in it.”
I let out an exhaustive breath, looking from Nolan, who is giggling and covering his mouth, to Tessa, who is also giggling, poking him in the stomach.
I’d scold her for that if Ben wasn’t so keen on talking about my breasts when Nolan is still in earshot.
He’s heard every slang term in the English vocabulary. He’s even shared some with his friends at school.
We’ve been called in to speak with the teacher twice now. Ben couldn’t act more proud sitting in on those meetings, puffing his chest out, looking at his son like he’s raising some sort of breast connoisseur.
I’m usually the one doing all the apologizing and swearing up and down certain words will never be repeated.
Tessa nudges me with her elbow, leaning in to whisper. “So, are you as deliciously sore as I am? Luke’s been on me like flies on shit.”
Crossing my arms below my chest, I lean back against the wall, sulking. “No. We haven’t done it at all.”
God, I miss sex with Ben. Delicious, mind-numbing, earth-shattering sex with Ben.
“What? They were off for two days. What have you two been doing?”
I motion at Chase and Nolan as they follow each other around the small dressing room area, Chase trying to catch his big brother with his arms outstretched, and Nolan, laughing and letting him get real close before he darts away.
“Oh,” Tessa mumbles, leaning back next to me, both of us watching the boys. “Well, what about after they go to bed? That’s your usual playtime, isn’t it?”
“Not lately. Chase keeps waking up within a couple minutes of us putting him down, and Nolan always hears him. Then he’s up and wanting to sleep with us too. Ben wants me to ignore it, but I can’t. I’ve tried. I hate hearing Chase cry like that. And poor Nolan. Ben yelled at him last night ‘cause he was sick of getting interrupted and Nolan stuck his little fingers underneath our bedroom door and cried until we let him in.”
“Jesus.”
“Yeah, I’ve tried praying about it. That’s not working either. I don’t know what to do. If Ben doesn’t take me soon I think he might go crazy. I caught him researching the damages of sex withdrawal yesterday while the boys were eating lunch.”
Tessa chuckles. “Oh, my God. I’m so glad I know this information. I’m going to tease the hell out of him now.”
“Please don’t,” I groan. “I’m sure he’s already getting it from Luke.”
“Exactly. We can both play off his misery.”
I glare at her.
She smiles, her one dimple caving in and her shoulders lifting in tiny jerks as she continues to laugh.
“I know what you should do,” she says after a minute, looking serious now. “Get him while he’s at work.”
My mouth falls open. “What? How? I have the boys.”
“Not if I take them for you. Drop them off at my house and find out from Luke where he’s at. Surprise him. How many times have we talked about doing it in the back of a cop car? One of us needs to make that happen ASAP.”
Biting the inside of my cheek while I contemplate this suggestion, I feel my body relax against the wall. My muscles going slack. “Mm.”
How many times have we talked about this? More times than I can count. It’s a major fantasy of mine, but one I never have the opportunity to act on because of the boys. Just the sight of Ben in his uniform is enough to make my legs shake. Pairing that with us crammed into the back of his car, him pinning me down or me grinding in his lap, his pants undone just enough to reveal his cock, the harsh chill of his handcuffs pressing into my skin, biting my flesh, the smell of sex and sweat growing thick around us and lingering there after we’re done, reminding him every time he gets in what we did and how it felt . . . Yeah, that’s definitely something I’ve thought about more than once.
“Mm mmm.” Tessa wiggles her brows. “Just let me know when and we’ll make it happen.”
Warmth spreads across my face.