“Yeah. I made my bed all by myself today. Chasey can’t do that yet.”
Chuckling under my breath, I carry Nolan over to the table and sit next to Chase, smiling at my other boy. I grab his sticky fist and kiss it.
“Little man. You hungry?”
Chase looks down at the plate of pancakes again and reaches for them, making all kinds of grunting noises, his face turning a deep shade of red and his brown eyes round.
“He’s had a whole pancake already, Daddy. Mommy said he’s going to eat us outta the house. I don’t want that. I like it here.”
Mia laughs behind me.
Smiling, I grab the fork and feed Chase a bite. “He’s a growing boy. You ate like this when you were his age. How do you think you got those big muscles?”
“I’m gonna be as big as you. Look.” Nolan flexes his arms, the sleeves of his T-shirt coming up to reveal his tiny biceps. “See? And I’m gonna have tattoos like you too. Just on this arm. A big dragon.” He runs his hand over his right shoulder and down to his elbow.
Mia walks up to the table, setting Chase’s cup on the highchair. “And what about your girlfriend’s name? Aren’t you going to get that on you somewhere too?”
Nolan sighs, his shoulders sagging as he drops his head. He tugs at the buttons on my uniform. “I don’t have a girlfriend. I told you that. I can’t find one I like.” He looks up at me. “But I will, Daddy. I’m going to have her name just like you have. The first girl I get.”
Smiling, my chest swelling with pride, I glance up at Mia, then look back at my son. “You got plenty of time, Nolan. Don’t worry about getting any girl’s name tattooed on you until you know you’re marrying her, okay?”
He slides off my lap. “First girl I like, I’m marrying,” he mumbles, climbing back into his seat and resuming his drawing. Another castle, by the looks of it.
Jesus. I hope that isn’t the case. How many fucking mistakes did I make before I wised up and went after what was in front of me most of my life? Angie being the biggest slip-up, though I’ll never regret what resulted from our one drunken night together. I wouldn’t have Nolan if it wasn’t for that massive error in judgement.
It’s a strange thing, hating someone but living for what they gave you. Having Nolan changed my life. I’d never take it back. That doesn’t change or lessen my feelings toward his mother. In my opinion, she doesn’t deserve to live. I don’t care how harsh that is. I’ll die hating that bitch. She nearly took my entire world away from me.
Mia bumps her hip against my arm. “He’s just like you,” she whispers, her eyes falling over my shoulder. “He loves with every part of him.”
I grab Mia’s waist and pull her into my lap, wrapping my arms around her and tucking her as close to my body as I can get her. I bury my face into her neck and breathe.
Just. Fucking. Breathe.
I close my eyes, moaning when she runs her fingers along my scalp.
“You tired, babe?”
“Mm.” I nod a bit, rubbing her back.
Truth is, I’m fucking exhausted. The muscles in my back and shoulders feel tight. My head is pounding, courtesy of the last call we got, and the woman who yelled in my ear for twenty fucking minutes about her ex stealing money out of her safe and threatening to hit her. Luke handled him while I tried to calm her down. Didn’t work. She was still screaming to no one in particular when we pulled away from the house.
I just want to sleep. I need it after the night I’ve had, but fuck, I want this more.
Turns out, Mia plans on deciding for me.
She stands and tugs my arm, getting me out of the chair. “Nolan, watch your brother for a minute. If he drops his cup, pick it up for him, okay? I’ll be right back.”
Nolan nods, leaning on the table and coloring in his drawing.
I’m led down the hallway and pulled into our bedroom. Mia walks around the bed to the window, closing the blinds and drawing the curtains.
“Long night?” she asks, going to the bed. She pulls down the comforter and sheet on my side.
I step further into the room. “Yeah,” I answer, rubbing at my face. “Fuck, though, I don’t want to sleep, Mia. I don’t need it.”
Sleep or her? My choice is incredibly simple.
She looks up at me, those big brown eyes going soft. “Come here,” she whispers.
I start unbuttoning my shirt as I round the bed to get to her.
“Don’t. Let me do it.”
She brushes my hands away and takes over, starting at my collar and working her way down to my belt. She looks up at me and untucks my shirt, then sucks on her fat bottom lip as she pushes it off of my shoulders.
I start breathing heavy, my need for her sparking in my gut like a live wire, my hands clenching and unclenching at my sides.