HOUSE PARTY DOWNTOWN, I respond. Now that I’ve texted him, I’m not sure I should have. Sticking my phone back in my pocket, I pick up the bottle of tequila and take a few sips. My stomach rolls with each drink, but I don’t stop. Everything in my life feels like a rollercoaster out of control. From the fact that I’m even here instead of back in Brooklyn to the thing with Ryan and whatever the fuck went down with Duke, I just don’t know which end is up anymore.
ON MY WAY, he texts back. I don’t even try to pretend I don’t want Ryan here right now. I’m working my way to being buzzed enough to do as I’d like without concern over the consequences.
Looking around the room, I decide that I’m not much for house parties. At least not the non-Forsaken kind. This is lame. I could be sitting in my bedroom drinking to my heart’s content, and that would be a lot more comfortable than this is. Beside me, Nic’s soft snores fill the mostly empty space. In the time since we sat down to now, the crowd has thinned, leaving us alone on the couch. Giving Nic a shove, she wakes immediately.
“You’re such a lightweight,” I say. She nods and blinks away the sleep. Bringing her right hand up in front of her face, she distances her index finger half an inch from her thumb.
“Just a little,” she says with a slight slur. “It’s just been a hard life. I wanted to forget. Like you said, I just want to forget.” Her voice is so small as she repeats my words from earlier. She looks so fragile, all curled up there on the couch. Her thin frame folded in on itself, her dark makeup somehow still intact, and her dyed blonde hair something the state of Texas could be proud of, she gives me a heartwarming smile.
In the distance, I can hear the rumble of a motorcycle, maybe two. Through the slightly muffled, but still loud, music, I listen to their approach. Nic doesn’t seem to notice, or if she does, she thinks nothing of it. Now that I can hear Ryan coming, I’m not quite certain what Nic is going to think of it. She’s been adamant about keeping the club at arm’s length, and as much as I want to respect that, it’s going to be hard to maintain a friendship with somebody who wants absolutely nothing to do with my family.
I can’t hear the bikes anymore even though the music has been turned down. Conversation has largely stopped in the other rooms. Heavy footfalls sound from the hallway beyond us. I cast Nic a nervous glance, only to find her eyes are on mine. She slowly shakes her head and says, “What did you do?”
Before I can answer the question, Ryan and Duke round the corner, leaving a trail of silence in their wake. Neither wear particularly joyful expressions. If the guy on the porch’s reaction to my association with the club is anything to go by, I’m guessing the people here aren’t exactly fans of Forsaken. But none of that matters.
I look up at Ryan, and a smile overtakes my entire face. All of a sudden, I feel all warm and swishy inside. Maybe Nic isn’t the only one who’s a lightweight. He says nothing as he strides over and reaches out a hand to help me up. I take it graciously and, when I’m on two feet, I use the opportunity to slip my pinky around his. Once I’ve done it, there’s a brief moment where I think I’m the biggest idiot on the planet. But then he grips his pinky around mine, and those familiar bolts of heat shoot through me. Being this close to him, our pinkies wrapped around one another, it feels intimate in a way I’m unable to describe.
Leading us through the house, never losing contact, Ryan moves slowly. Behind us are Nic and Duke. She’s much more alert now than before, with her arms folded over her chest and her feet practically stomping into the carpet below. I check back on them to see Duke walks behind her, keeping his hands to himself. And despite the excitement coursing through my veins at being so close to Ryan, I can’t help but be annoyed by Duke’s presence. I still haven’t forgiven him for leaving me alone in that field, and I don’t know if I ever will.
Outside the house, and down the steps, we reach the sidewalk. The crowd is down by at least half now even though it’s not even all that late as far as parties go. Duke and Ryan’s Harleys are parked between two cars just off the sidewalk.
“We’re heading out, Brother,” Duke says, his giant hand now wrapped around Nic’s tiny one. Her eyes are narrowed as she passes me, hissing words of revenge. I try to bring myself to feel bad, but I don’t have it in me. Ryan’s here, and I don’t really give a shit. Duke backs his bike out and signals for Nic to climb on. She shakes her head twice before he points his finger at her, giving her a warning glare. She finally concedes, and in no time they’re off and down the road on their way to God-only-knows where.
Ryan gives a slight tug on my pinky, bringing me up against his side. Leaning down, his breath brushes against my temple.
“Where do you want to go?” he whispers. My face heats from his nearness, and my stomach flips with possibilities. Emboldened by the situation, I look up at him, and say just as softly, “Your place.” A wicked smile paints itself on his face, and a dark, mischievous glint dances in his gray eyes.
Chapter 18
Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable.
L. Frank Baum