When the Heart Falls

Which means nothing is really impossible at all.

This thought cheers me as we make our way to the commune of Etretat in order to take pictures of les falaises d'Etretat—the cliffs of Etretat. Powerful and immense, surrounded by emerald green and sapphire blue waters, rising into the sky like white mountains peaked in green, the cliffs awe us both. We stop and take pictures, then make a small picnic with leftovers from lunch and eat in silence, each lost in our own thoughts.

The sun is setting, the rays casting oranges and yellows into the water and chilling the air. Winter shivers, and I take off my jacket and wrap it around her shoulders. She's always so cold, but with a heart so warm and loving. While I'm glad she reclaimed her own power on Bastille Day with her Ice Queen costume, I can never see her as that, as an Ice Queen. She's the most caring person I've ever known, and I want to punch anyone who has ever treated her less than she deserves.

As we eat, a family nearby enjoys their own picnic. The little boy and girl play together, kicking a ball back and forth.

"You like kids?" I ask.

Winter shrugs. "They're cute."

"You want any?"

"In a few years," she says, watching as the boy kicks the ball too far, sending the girl running for it.

"How many?"

"Years or kids?”

I chuckle. “Kids.”

The sun shines on her hair, bringing out the blue undertones of the black. “Well, my kindergarten self decided I'd have two. A boy and a girl."

An ant scuttles over my hand and I shake it off. "What about your present self?"

She crosses her arms over her knees, eyes focused on something far away. "I don't know. I worry about having a baby. How could I protect her when the world's so cruel?"

"She'll have the Savage blood in her. She'll protect herself."

Winter raises an eyebrow. "So we're talking about our baby?"

I look away, shocked at the turn of this conversation, at my own thoughts. "Just thinking about the future. I always imagined having a big family."

She shakes her head. "Not me. Not anymore."

"Because you grew up in one?"

Winter turns away, staring at the horizon. "Because I'm afraid. One child is the chance to make a million mistakes. I'm not sure I could handle more mistakes."

"Because you'd care about your baby."

"More than myself."

I nod. "Me too. But babies are still a far way off."

"They are, and one day, I won't be afraid anymore," she says. "I may not even notice it, but one day, I'll be ready."

I smile. "She's back."

"Who?"

"The optimist."

Winter chuckles. "She's always in here, fighting for survival."



This is our last stop before heading back to Mont Saint-Michel, and I'm reluctant to leave. A shadow of despair settles over me, but I shrug it off. We still have several days left of our vacation, then several weeks left of our summer in Paris. I refuse to let the future steal these present joys from me.

Winter falls asleep in the car on the long drive back to our hotel at Mont Saint-Michel, and I nudge her awake when I return the rental. We're both exhausted when the bus drops us down the road from our hotel. All the walking and driving and sightseeing has worn us out, but I have one more thing left on our agenda that I don't intend to postpone for morning. So as Winter showers, I slip in with her, startling her enough that she drops the soap.

I pick it up and slide it over her back, using my hands to rub the suds into her, massaging her as I go.

She sighs and leans against the shower wall. "You're evil, Mr. Savage."

"If by evil you mean desperate to be with the woman I love, then I'm guilty as charged." As soon as the words slip out, I freeze. We haven't used the 'L' word yet, though I've thought it. I wait to see how she responds.

"You… love me?"

Part of me wants to take it back, knowing I'm sinking deeper into something that will be hard to recover from, but I can't do it. I know it's true, and she needs to know it too. "Yes, Winter Deveaux. I love you. Utterly and completely. Why else would I agree to our crazy cross-continental long distance plan?"

I think a tear slides down her cheek, but it's hard to tell with the shower water pouring over us.

My hands are on her waist, and she lets hers fall on my chest. "I never thought I'd feel this way about anyone," she says. "Never thought I could. But Cade, you understand me better than anyone I've ever known. When I'm with you, I'm the best possible version of myself, and I feel like I can accomplish anything."

"Oh sweetheart, you don't need me for that. You are amazing all on your own."

This time I know it's a tear that slides out of her blue eyes. "See? This is what I'm talking about. I love you, too, Cade Savage. Forever."