I love my friends. I really, really do.
We have a big table at the restaurant since there are six of us—me, Derek, Eli, Nance, Inez and Andy. Nance instructs us all to order lobster or steak, the most expensive items on the menu, which we do. Except for Eli and Inez, who are vegetarians, but they promise to eat extra dessert to make up for it. We talk and laugh and forget, for a couple of hours, how much work is waiting for us at home.
Even Eli is smiling, which is awesome to see. He told me last night that he talked to his mom again. Just her this time, without his dad. She told Eli that it was going to be hard for them for a while, but she thought his dad would come around before too long. Eli said he hopes his dad will have changed his mind by summer break.
“If he hasn’t,” Eli said to me in a low voice while we huddled on the front steps of the guys’ house, “I guess I’ll just go back as Elizabeth. I’ve done it every other year.”
Eli said it like it was no big deal, but I could hear the quiver in his voice. By summer he’ll have been on testosterone long enough to look really different. He’ll have facial hair, like Derek.
Eli’s a guy. Through and through. To have to put on a dress and pretend to be someone he’s not...hell, I can’t even imagine. It makes me want to fly to Korea and grab his dad by the shoulders and shake him until his teeth rattle.
But Eli’s sitting across from me at the table now with a grin bright enough to blind someone. So I grin back at him. If he’s happy, I’ll be happy for him.
Today everybody’s grinning. Finals still feel far away, but friends are close.
We’re almost done eating, and Derek’s in the middle of a story about how Shari, the hyper blond from the UBA, once tried to recruit people to volunteer at a “postfeminist sex-positive antiharassment bikini carwash, for charity,” and everybody’s howling with laughter, when our waitress comes over and calls out to the table at large, “Can I get you ladies any coffee?”
The laughter cuts out all at once.
Derek opens his mouth, then closes it. Andy blinks up at the waitress as if he isn’t sure he understood her. Eli just stares down at his empty plate.
The waitress knows she did something wrong. She’s backing away, an apology on her lips, when Nance speaks up.
“My friends are guys,” she says. “Get it? Not ladies.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” the waitress stammers. “I didn’t mean anything, I was only—”
“I know you didn’t mean to,” Nance says. “Just be more careful from now on. You can’t go around making assumptions like that. It’s not up to you to decide who people are.”
The waitress leaves without waiting to hear if we want coffee.
None of us does anyway. Not after that. Nance pays the check (the waitress gave us the dessert for free, thanks to Nance’s guilt trip) and we walk toward the train to go home. Ahead of me, I can see Derek’s shoulders slouching. Eli hasn’t said a word since the waitress left.
No one suggests we go anywhere else. We’ve already wasted too much precious studying time, and none of us feels like trying to have fun anymore.
Next to me, Eli takes halting, shuffling steps. I think about clapping him on the back, but if it were me, that would only make me feel worse.
Wait. Is it me?
How the hell should I know?
I remember what Nance told the waitress. It’s not up to you to decide who people are.
I stop walking.
“Hey, I have to go, actually,” I say. I hold out my hand for a cab.
“Uh, yeah, we know,” Nance says. “We’re all going. That’s why we’re getting on the train.”
“No, I have to go to DC. I have to talk to my mom. I have to tell her something.”
Everyone stops walking. They stare at me.
“Your mom?” Derek says. “What, right now? Um, maybe you should stop and think about this.”
“I don’t need to,” I say. “I’ve got to do this now.”
“Do what?” Derek asks. “T, this is insane. You can’t make this decision just like that.”
“It’s Reading Period,” Nance says. “You have too much work to go to DC. Besides, you’ll be back there in a week. You can talk to your mom then.”
“I’ll be fine,” I say. A cab pulls up. I tell the driver, “I’m going to Logan.”
The driver nods, and I open the back door.
“You’re going straight to the airport?” Inez asks. “Shouldn’t you at least go to the dorm first and get some stuff?”
“Yeah, and on the way, we can talk this through,” Derek says. “Trust me, this isn’t something you want to decide on a whim.”
“I don’t need anything from the dorm,” I say. “I already have my wallet and my phone. I’ll see you guys later.”
“Tony, look, I’m begging you. This is a huge thing you’re doing. What are you even going to tell her, exactly? You’re still figuring yourself out. Please, just think about this, because you really don’t want to—”