“What the fuck?” Shadow hollers, looking at the wall of glass and beer. “I’ll eat the fucking spaghetti.”
“Oh here, let me get that for you, too.” I grab the bowl of hot spaghetti and throw it at him as well, spilling some on the counter. He ducks again, just in time, as the bowl and noodles join the beer and glass on the wall.
“You fucking crazy bitch!” Shadow yells as he drops the ice cream and makes his way toward me.
“Fuck you, I’m not someone you can just walk all over,” I yell back at him, angry that he is right. I am acting crazy, but he did this to me; he made me crazy.
Our eyes of blazing blue and venomous green meet; souls of abuse and torment meeting in a ring of fire. Shadow grabs the nape of my neck harshly, pulling me closer. I bring my hand back and slap him across the face, his tongue snakes out and licks his bottom lip.
Our eyes locking once more, anger floods our judgment. He grabs me by the hair and pulls my head back. His body is screaming alpha and his temper flares like a beast.
Without warning our mouths crash together in need. Shadow grabs me by the thighs and slams me on top of the counter. Spaghetti and sauce go flying all over us and the counter. Shadow nips my bottom lip as his hands dive into my hair. Pulling my head to the side, he licks and nibbles some sauce from my neck.
“God, I fucking love your temper,” he whispers against my skin. He thrusts his hips into my hypersensitive folds causing me to grind against him for friction. He slides his hands up my shirt and grabs my breast greedily. I grab at his bare back to pull him closer. My body is begging for more as he kisses me. Our lips those of anger and passion. He tastes of chocolate and sin; together becoming an addiction on its own. He bites my bottom lip harshly, causing me to moan. My pain becoming my pleasure. I lock my legs around his waist and return the bite on toned pecks. He moans and grabs my head back to look into his stormy eyes.
“Is everything okay?” Doc asks, coming in the front door as it opens.
“What the fuck happened to the wall?” Bobby asks, walking in behind her.
My eyes snap to Shadow's; his face of lust and anger replaced with something unreadable. He pulls away leaving me cold and confused. I slide off the counter of spaghetti and see Doc and Bobby confused and staring. Shadow grabs his cut off the chair and walks out, slamming the door behind him.
I woke up yesterday pissed at myself; pissed I have let myself become so weak, pissed that I've allowed Dani to have this kind of control over me, pissed at myself for loving her. I'm also pissed I almost let her get killed because I didn’t take that junkie of a mother seriously.
I lost control when she was taken; lost control with the thought of her on Charlie's bike. She is right, I am trying to push her away. I am trying to protect her from the beast that I am. But, I can’t let her go, my body is addicted to her. I live and breathe Dani. When I think about her not being with me, I feel hopeless. She has shown me a light; she is the heaven to my hell.
“Firefly is asleep,” Bobby says, as I sit down next to him on the couch. I needed to get out of here earlier. Dani in the kitchen cooking in that shirt was torture, but when she defied me and went fucking crazy, I couldn’t hold back anymore, I had to have her. When I realized what I was doing, it became clear to me that I couldn’t push Dani away even if I wanted to. She is mine, and I am hers.
“Go ahead, baby, I’ll catch up,” Bobby says to Doc, dismissing her. “What the fuck, man? Talk to me,” he demands of me when she's gone.
“There’s nothing to talk about, leave it.” I get up and make my way to the kitchen for a beer. The spaghetti mess is still present. I look at the counter and see a clean spot from Dani’s cute little ass.
“I took a fucking bullet for you to be with that girl and now you are pushing her away. Why?” Bobby yells at me, that boy has balls talking to me like that.
“She fucks with my head. That day she was taken, my whole world fucking shifted, Bobby, and I lost control,” I fess up.
“Love has a funny way of fucking with you. I get it; you think pushing Firefly away will keep you from feeling that helpless again,” Bobby says, getting up and walking over to the island.
“Yeah, and I don’t trust that she won’t leave when she finds out what I really do; how I stay alive.” I take a swig of my bottle, regret of the fucked up numbness I call my life and the way I cope with it, swallowing me into a black abyss. If Dani is anything like her mother, she will run far away from me. Pushing her away now is better than after I completely give myself to her, or so I think.