His words sink deep, confirming my belief of why Shadow is acting the way he is. I make him feel hopeless and weak; hell, I make him feel, period. Now to make sure he never hurts like that again or loses control. Can I take the push and push back, am I strong enough?
Shadow ignores me for the rest of the day. He plays video games with Bobby, asking me to get him a beer or make him a sandwich here and there. To pass the time, I wash the dishes, take out the trash and pick up the dirty clothes. The balcony doors have been open to let the place air out. It looks great, but my ribs are hurting to the max. I sit down on one of the sun loungers, exhausted from all the hard work. My ribs are pushing my pain level past bearable and my head starts to throb. I am in need of a break.
“Dani!” Shadow yells, laughing at Bobby about something. “Get me another beer!” He's still playing that fucking video game. I bite my bottom lip and don’t budge; who does he think he is.
“Dani!” Shadow yells again. His voice grates on my nerves, my anger begins to seethe through my pores.
“Dude, go get it yourself. What the fuck?” Bobby sneers, his voice lowered in an attempted whisper so I won't hear.
“Dani!” Shadow yells again, ignoring Bobby.
“Goddamn it,” he curses and stomps all the way to the balcony doors; his eyes like daggers at the back of my head.
“Did you hear me yelling for your ass to get me a beer?” Shadow asks, pissed off I didn’t jump at his beck and call.
I turn my head and glare at him. I don’t mind getting him a beer, but he could, at least, ask nicely. If he is trying to push me away, treating me like this is a great way to do it.
“Go get it your damn self,” I snap back, returning my gaze to the ocean view. It is beautiful with hues of purple and pink as the sun goes down.
Shadow grabs my chin and yanks my vision from the ocean.
Staring into his icy, blue eyes, his soul renders me speechless. It shows anger, lust, confusion and darkness. He is angry and I don’t know why. I have given him everything I possibly can, including my heart, and he still is not happy. I’m exhausted in so many ways; my heart is literally shattering.
Shadow turns and walks away, leaving me on the sun lounger to watch the sunset by myself. I feel my heart crash and burn. My chest feels like it is on fire and I gasp for air. I hate the effect he is having on me. I have to be stronger than this and push back if I want to keep him. Prove to him I'm not going anywhere. Can’t he see that he makes me feel, too; that he takes the control I need away, as well?
At midnight I can’t keep my eyes open anymore. “Hey, I’m going to bed, you coming?” I ask Shadow, who is still playing video games. He doesn’t even acknowledge me; just keeps his eyes on the screen. That’s all he’s done all day, even through dinner.
When I open the door to Shadow's bedroom, it is very masculine. The bed has black sheets with a black, gray and white comforter and is covered in fluffy pillows. I came in here earlier to grab dirty clothes and beer bottles, but I didn’t stop long enough to really appreciate the room. There is a huge floor-to-ceiling window that looks out over the city and there are black sheer curtains on each side. The dresser is black with a huge mirror. The room is sin in its own right. How can Shadow afford all this?
I go to the closet and pull down one of Shadow's white MC shirts; my black one got ruined by Candy. As I grab it off the hanger, a whoosh of air assaults my senses. It smells of Shadow. God, I miss him.
‘You don’t think just because you’re sweet and innocent that he cares about you, that you can tame him, do you? As soon as he’s done with you, he’ll come running back to me.’
Candy’s words fly at me like a bullet. I remember Shadow hiding in the closet as she verbally accosted me. The thought she might have been right makes my mouth go dry.
No, things are different between me and Shadow; I know it.
I put the shirt on and climb into the huge sleigh bed. It feels cold and lonely laying in it by myself.
The door across the hall slams, knocking me from my self-pity. Little school girl giggles and deep smooth laughter from Bobby muffle from the room next to me.
Then it goes quiet. Hmm, odd.
“Oh, Bobby, don’t stop!” a girl moans loudly. This cannot be happening.
I can hear her moaning incoherent things, and Bobby rutting like a beast. This is more awkward than I ever thought imaginable. Where is Shadow? I climb out of bed and pad my bare feet to the living room. Shadow is asleep on the couch with a blanket and pillow. I sigh loudly; looks like I will be sleeping alone tonight. I pad my way back to the bedroom; rejection and loneliness weighing on my heart.