Della showing up to my dad’s funeral was…more than shocking, to say the least. Just thinking those two words together was shocking enough, and Della had to show up, making things worse than they already were. Sure, I missed her like hell and her presence alone was comforting, but I wasn’t going to tell her that. The fact that my dad’s death was what finally brought her back to me pissed me off. Like I was supposed to be happy about her showing up? I had no fucking clue when I would be happy again, but knowing that Della was there, didn’t do it. I felt guilty for basically banishing her from the funeral, and I could see the pain in her eyes from the way I was treating her, but in that moment, I just couldn’t care.
“What’s going on, asshole?” Jared clinked his beer bottle against mine, the tapping of the glass bringing me back to reality. The reality that my dad had just died for no damn reason, and we were surrounded by all of these people who were watching us like we were some guppies in a fish bowl. I could see the pity in their eyes, and I hated it. I knew I should be thankful that my dad had been so loved, that he had been such a great guy, but today, I just wanted to be alone.
I grunted in response to my older brother, setting my empty bottle down on the table behind me that was filled to the max with every casserole anyone could ever imagine, and shoved my hands into the pockets of my suit coat.
“So, Mom’s searching for Della.”
My head snapped toward him and he looked at me with raised eyebrows. “Well, she’s not coming,” I huffed. “I made sure of that.”
“Really?” Jared pulled on his tie, bumping his shoulder into mine. “I thought you would be all over that shit the second she walked in today. I saw your face when she showed up. It was priceless.”
“Yeah, well.…” I let my words drop off as I scrubbed a hand over my face. I didn’t want to talk to Jared about this. I didn’t want to talk to anyone about Della.
I’m sure what I was feeling when I saw Della today had been written all over my face, but I tried to mask it quickly, pushing away anything I was feeling at that moment. A thousand different emotions slammed into me when I first laid eyes on her. And that dress she wore, hugging every inch of her curves, flaring slightly at her hips that I just wanted to sink my fingers into, feeling her body mold against mine as I buried my nose in her hair to smell that familiar, comforting shampoo she always used.
Her pale blue eyes widened when they landed on mine, her heart shaped lips pushing into a small O. I wanted to push through everyone and make those lips mine again, but I didn’t. She looked like perfection, and I was probably the only one who saw through the fa?ade. She was nervous as hell to be there, but after years of that mother of hers drilling it into her to always be perfect in everything, she was pretty good at masking things.
But it didn’t matter. Too much happened, too much time had passed. And she was with that douchebag Nash now. Her showing up was like a punch to the balls. How could she not see that?
“You know Mom’s pissed, right? She saw what happened between the two of you at the funeral home.”
“What?”
Jared nodded in confirmation, and that made me feel like an even bigger asshole. My mom and Della easily hit it off the first time that I brought her home. She had almost felt equally as upset as I had when Della ended things and didn’t talk to me for two weeks straight.
I saw how my mom reacted today when Della showed up, but she seemed to break down whenever my dad’s name was mentioned, which was understandable. I didn’t know how long it would take for her to be somewhat happy again.
I didn’t even stop to think that she would be watching when Della came over to where I was standing. I don’t know why she wouldn’t have. Moms see everything. Everything.
“Well, Della’s not coming. I made her leave, and I don’t think she’ll have the balls to show up here.” Even though I could totally see Della doing something like that just to piss me off, I think today was different. She at least knew that it just wasn’t the day to give me shit, and after I treated her the way I did, I wasn’t so sure I would ever see her again.
“You made her leave?” Jared repeated, a slight smirk on his face. “Wow, and she didn’t bitchslap you for that one? I feel like doing it for her. Mom’s gonna be pissed.”
“Mom doesn’t need to know,” I said, turning to grip his arm, and he looked down, narrowing his eyes at my hand before roughly shaking it off.
“Whatever, J. You do whatever the hell you wanna do with your life. I won’t say a word to Mom, but I’m sure she’ll figure it out. She always does.” He left me standing there alone, and I knew he was right, but I really didn’t care.
I just needed to get out of this house that only seemed to be getting smaller and had way too many memories, that right now, I just wanted to forget.
“I DEFINITELY DIDN’T expect to see you tonight.”
I tipped my chin up in response, and eyed RJ, motioning to him that I needed another drink. I wasn’t even sure how many I was up to, but I guess it was a good thing that I had taken a taxi because there was no way I was up for driving, or even walking, out of here tonight.