“Of course.” I left her with a wave, trying to seem confident, but really, I was scared out of my mind.
It had been so long since I’d come face to face with Justin, and now we would be seeing each other because of the death of his dad. I knew they were close, even though Justin had been such a troublemaker when he was younger. Their family stuck together through thick and thin. I would like to say my family did the same, but I couldn’t, and I had always been jealous of other families that were so close. I think that’s why I gave Marley such a hard time because of her tight-knit relationship with her dad. My relationship with my dad had grown lately, but he still traveled a lot for work. We did talk on the phone quite a bit, though.
I followed the directions that Grams had given me to the funeral home. Justin’s hometown was about thirty minutes in the opposite direction of campus, as well as from the town that my grandparents lived in, but she knew all of the surrounding areas like the back of her hand.
I found it easily, but once I pulled into a parking spot, my body didn’t seem to want to cooperate. I knew I needed to get out, but I was scared as hell. When I pictured a reunion between Justin and me, this really wasn’t how I expected it to pan out. It was supposed to be all rainbows and butterflies, “I missed you and I love you,” and “I’ll never let you go again.” That type of thing. Sounds cheesy, but it’s really how I had pictured things.
Here goes nothing.
I took a deep breath before sliding out of my car and straightening my dress, following the stream of people that were already flowing in, even though I was thirty minutes early. I wanted to try to find a little time alone with Justin. I realized this wasn’t really the time or place to talk about our relationship, but I at least wanted him to know that I was there for him when and if he needed me. And I was really hoping he did.
I was surprised at the lack of police uniforms as I walked in. I figured there would be a sea of them since Dan was such a big part of the police force. Once I overheard the woman in front of me talking in a low voice to the man next to her, though, I understood.
Dan hadn’t wanted a big deal to be made about his death. He had apparently told Leann a million times, if anything ever happened to him, he just wanted to go out like a normal guy. It sounded so much like Dan. If you met him on the street, that’s exactly who you would have thought he was, just a friendly, normal guy.
I felt Justin before I even saw him. The hairs on my arms prickled as a warm sensation ran through my body. I glanced up toward the front where the family was closely gathered around Leann. I couldn’t imagine what she was going through, they were married for such a long time. Jeremy and Jared were both there with their wives, Molly and Sarah, standing closely beside them. The boys looked like they were trying to keep themselves together, but Molly and Sarah’s eyes were both red and they were clutching a fistful of tissues.
And then there was Justin.
He stood a little bit away from the group, the only one out of the brothers not trying to hide his emotions. I could see his gray eyes glittering with tears, the scruff on his face a little damp from the ones that he had already shed and not bothered to wipe away. His shoulders were hunched forward, and his hands were shoved deep into the pockets of his dress pants. And yet, he still managed to look even sexier than the last time that I’d seen him. If it was possible, his body had become even leaner, probably from joining the police force. I bugged Brian about Justin’s visit for at least two weeks, until he finally gave in and at least told me that Justin was now officially employed as a police officer. That was all he would give me, but it had been enough. At least he was doing the job that he’d wanted so much. I tried to convince myself that’s why Justin hadn’t contacted me. He was busy with his new career, but eventually he would miss me enough to come find me. Right?
My eyes locked on him once again as the line I was waiting in to greet the family slowly inched forward. I couldn’t believe I was thinking about how good he looked at his father’s funeral. Seriously, what was wrong with me? Justin’s head snapped up just as my foot stepped an inch closer and his eyes met mine.
Shock passed over his face, but it was quickly covered with something resembling anger, until his features went completely blank. My stomach twisted as I got closer to him, and he hadn’t stopped staring at me. I had no clue what to say to him, and judging by his reaction to me being here, I really had no idea what he was going to say to me, and if I would like it very much.