Thankfully, the waitress came over to take our drink orders. That gave me time to think about what he meant when he said ‘my Addy.’ I hadn’t been his Addy for a while, and I don’t know why us just meeting up for lunch would give him that kind of idea.
I listened intently to Chris as he explained the work that he was doing for his dad’s company. He seemed like he enjoyed it and his plan for after college had always been to work for him. I just couldn’t imagine working in an office every day, sounded a little boring to me. He didn’t mention a girlfriend, though, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. There still seemed to be some feelings for him buried deep below, because part of me hoped that he didn’t. It probably had a lot to do with how much history we had together.
“So, how long are you in North Carolina for?” I asked after the waitress sat down an appetizer of fried pickles. I was about ready to devour them all by myself since I hadn’t eaten since before we left for the bar last night.
“I’m not really sure. I’ve been apartment hunting, but for now, I’ve just been living out of a suitcase. I hate hotels.”
Apartment hunting? So, that clearly meant things were going to be a little long-term for him. At least he was about two hours away, I guess. That was still a pretty far trip, and really, we didn’t have a reason to see each other. This was just me being nice, catching up with an old boyfriend.
“I’m checking all around the area, though, I don’t mind commuting.” He looked straight in my eyes as he said it, and I could hear the meaning behind those words. He thought something was going to happen between the two of us.
“Chris, I don’t know—”
“Addy.” He reached across the table, grabbing one of my hands, and I realized I’d clenched them tightly into fists. “I’m not going to lie and say I just wanted to see you as friends to catch up. Too much has happened for us to ever just be friends. I was hoping that maybe we could hang out every once in a while, though. See how things work out. I know things between us didn’t exactly end on a good note last time, but I felt something still there. Didn’t you?”
I swallowed thickly, remembering the last time we had seen each other. I was pissed that he stayed behind after everyone cleared out when the party ended. It was still too early in the night for me, and I needed to get drunk so I wasn’t sitting alone in that empty house with just my thoughts and me. And then Chris was there. I know it was beyond stupid, but we had sex…multiple times. And afterward, he started talking about our future together, as if we could just pick up right where we left off in high school, before all the drama. So, after the confrontation with my mother, I just disappeared. I figured he might have picked up a clue from that.
“Okay, I can tell you’re thinking too damn much. So, for now, don’t answer that question. But at least answer me this. Are you with anyone?”
“Um….” I pulled my hand away to toy with the discarded wrapper from my straw. When that was in shreds, I moved on to my napkin. That was a loaded question. Justin and I had been together just this morning but were we really together? The whole situation confused the hell out of me.
“Well, judging by your vague answer, I’m guessing not, or the relationship isn’t worth your time. You need someone who knows how much you’re worth, Addy. Someone who makes you the center of their world. Someone who doesn’t give two shits about any other girl but you.”
That last sentence stung, and it was as if he knew all about my relationship with Justin. I knew we had talked about moving forward, and forgetting the past, but sometimes, that was one of the hardest things to do.
“I could be that guy,” he finished before taking a long pull out of his bottle of beer.
“Chris, I don’t really think that’s possible. There’s just too much that’s happened between us. We’ve both moved on. And I am kind of seeing someone right now.”
He shrugged one shoulder. “I can deal with kind of seeing someone, Addy. Obviously, it’s not that serious. And you made a mistake. We both did. We were young and crazy in love. At least we thought we were. Who really knows when you’re that age? But maybe we could try now.”
I shook my head, not wanting to give him any hope. The waitress brought our meals over and Chris changed the subject, which was fine with me. We fell into easy conversation, though, and I remembered why I had been so drawn to him in the first place. He was such an outgoing person, friendly to everyone, and made me laugh almost nonstop.
I couldn’t say I didn’t enjoy myself at lunch, but when my phone beeped from my purse and I saw that it was a message from Justin, my mind went straight back to him. I was relieved to hear from him, really. It made me believe that he was serious about working things out. I was too. We just needed to figure out exactly where we went from here.
“DUDE, THAT WAS an asshole move you pulled last night.”