“What was the blackmail?” Her frown deepened and she appeared uneasy.
I pulled my hand through my hair and scratched the back of my neck, knowing she wasn’t going to like my answer. “I can’t tell you.”
She stiffened, her eyes narrowing into slits of distrust; so I quickly added, “But I can tell you it was about Jethro. It had nothing to do with Beau or me. Just Jethro.”
Her expression cleared and a knowing smile curved her pretty mouth on one side. “Ah…that makes sense. I’m guessing it relates to some missing cars?”
“Not exactly. Long story short, turns out what they were trying to blackmail us with wasn’t actually illegal. So we were going there tonight to set the record straight, tell the Order to back off.”
“And Tina double-crossed you.”
I nodded. “I never lied to you, Jess. Not about how I…what I want.”
“I know,” she responded softly, looking unhappy. “I know you.”
My hands ached to hold her, touch her, but she was still so far away.
Jessica glanced around her room and gathered a deep breath before lifting her eyes to mine. “Thanks for coming here to clear up tonight’s events. I...thanks.”
I acknowledged her thanks with a short nod and stared at her. Uncertainty clogged my throat. I didn’t know what to do next.
“Well, you can use the front door instead of the tree if you want. My daddy isn’t even home. Jackson is, but he’s not going to make a fuss, especially if you’re leaving.” Her eyes dropped, like she couldn’t look at me anymore.
I didn’t want to leave. What I wanted to do was eliminate the distance between us. I hadn’t taken any time to prepare so I stood there, in the dark, watching her, knowing I needed to say something.
So, finally, I said something.
“I don’t want to let you down. I don’t want to let anyone down. I don’t want to take without asking permission or deserving what I get. I need to take responsibility—for me, for my family—and I don’t want any handouts or free rides.”
Once again I had her eyes, but now she looked surprised. Her voice was halting as she asked, “Is this why you won’t even consider the possibility of coming with me? Because it wouldn’t be like that. I’m the one who wants to travel, how could I ask you to pay for—”
“Please, let me finish.”
She bit her lip and nodded—though I knew she held her tongue with a great deal of reluctance.
“I want to…” I started, stopped, and shook my head because the word want was wrong. I started again, “I need to go with you.”
She gasped, her hand coming to her chest and her pretty lips parting in surprise. I had no earthly idea how she could be surprised.
Even so, having confessed the truth, I said, “You’ve been it for me since you threw my shorts in that tree and left me naked in the lake, laughing at your prank and my misfortune—though I admit, I deserved it. You were right. I was trying to court you on our first date, nice and slow. I was trying to do everything right, guarantee my own success. I had a plan, one that wasn’t ever going to work because I didn’t take your dreams into consideration.”
“Duane—”
“And then I came up with a new plan. I thought if I could dictate the how and for how long we were together, then I would be able to walk away, risking nothing I can’t live without. You were right again. I wasn’t all in. I wasn’t even half in. I was ready to leave the whole time, looking for a reason. Because every second we spent together was better than the last.”
Jessica took a step forward, like she wanted to rush over, but stopped herself and gathered a quick breath. “We don’t have to end. And I know I’m being selfish, asking you to leave when your roots are here.”
Unable to stand the distance between us, I crossed to her, needing her skin and warmth. “But you did ask. And I’m glad you did, because I wouldn’t have. I won’t ask you to stay, and I would never ask to go with you. But since you asked…”
Her eyes grew round and she pressed her lips together like she was afraid to make a sound. And she let me touch her. She let me hold her in my hands and it felt so good I never wanted to let go.
“Since you asked, and since I need you, and if you’re still willing—”
“I am!”
I smiled down at my girl, pulled her body against mine, and—even though nothing was really resolved, and we had no plan, and I had no clue how this was going to work—I said, “Then let’s go.”
“But what about the shop? What about your brothers?”
“I’ve talked to Cletus and Beau, we’ll work something out with the shop.”
“You already talked to Cletus and Beau? About leaving?”
“Yes.”
“What will they do?”
“We’ll figure it out. They want me to be happy.”
“But do you think you’ll be happy? Really? I’ve been thinking we could compromise. Stay here during the school year and travel over the summer.”
“I’m not okay with that. I’m not asking you to compromise your dreams.”
“But what about your dreams?”