She sat back down across from me, picked up the syrup bottle.
I took a breath. “I went over to Crystal’s last night.”
Her eyebrows pulled together. “She’s home?” She set the bottle down.
“No, I borrowed your key.”
Now she looked pissed. “You mean you took it.”
I shrugged. “I needed to see inside her place. It looks like she left Sunday, maybe not long after I went over.”
“Yeah.” She took a few long sips of her coffee, watching me over the rim.
“I think she went to Cash Creek.”
She started shaking her head but I kept talking. “Mom, listen. She was on her computer, looking up Cash Creek. I bet she was looking for those guys.”
All the color had gone out of Mom’s face, and her hand was gripping the edge of the table like she was trying to hold herself up.
“Mom?”
She got up and refilled her coffee. She was stirring in sugar, only her profile visible, but I could see her eyelashes flickering like she was blinking hard.
“Crystal would never go back there,” she said.
“You don’t know what—”
“I know my sister, Skylar. She wouldn’t go there.”
“Her gun is gone, Mom. I think she went back to kill them.”
She turned around. “That’s crazy.”
“She looked them up. Why would she do that?” I couldn’t tell her about my last conversation with Crystal, the stupid stuff I’d said.
“Who knows, but there’s no way in hell she’s gone to Cash Creek.”
“I think we should drive there and see.”
“Absolutely not.”
“Why not?”
“It’s too dangerous, for one, and I can’t miss work.”
“Why aren’t you worried?”
“I am worried, okay? But Dallas and I learned a long time ago not to screw up our lives every time Crystal went off the rails. She’ll figure it out and she’ll come back and we’ll lend her money again and she’ll get another job.”
“I can’t believe you’re not going to look for her!”
“Skylar, you have no idea what we lived through in that town. None of us would ever go back there again.” She walked over, cupped my face. “Trust me.”
I leaned away. “I can’t just sit around and wait for her to come home.”
“So don’t. What are Emily and Taylor doing? Are they working?” She glanced at the calendar on the wall, her face slightly surprised like she’d just realized the date. “Oh, right. Emily’s going to their cabin this week.”
“She’s leaving tomorrow. They invited me, but I didn’t feel like going this year.” Emily’s cabin was awesome and we always had fun, but sometimes it was hard watching her with her dad, how nice he was. She could be kind of mean to him, making fun of his jokes or how he dressed, acting annoyed when he wanted to take us fishing. I’d feel angry at her, then we’d get in a stupid fight.
“Call and see if you can go,” Mom said.
“You wouldn’t mind?”
“I think it would be good for you to hang out with some girls your own age. You shouldn’t be worried about this kind of stuff.”
“What about the gym?”
“Don’t worry. I’ll clear it with Dallas.”
“Maybe I’ll call Emily.”
“Good,” Mom said, looking relieved. She grabbed her coffee. “I’m going to take a shower.”
*
While Mom was at work that night I Googled maps and driving times, trying to calculate gas and how much money I’d need. I thought I could make it in about five and a half hours, a little more if I stopped for food or gas.
When I walked into the kitchen in the morning, Mom glanced up from pouring coffee. I’d heard the TV on late after she got home last night, and her eyes were puffy like she hadn’t slept well.
I felt hot and nervous. I’d raided the cupboard for granola bars and dried fruit, any stuff that would last awhile. I planned to drive all day, stop for lunch, then get a motel room in Cash Creek—I was going to pull a few hundred out of my bank account. I’d have to work extra shifts for the rest of the summer and maybe even babysit so I could still pay for the mixer and speakers.
I poured myself some juice and sat down at the table. Mom turned around and leaned against the counter. “Did you get hold of Emily?”
“Yeah, I can go. I’ll meet them at their house in a few hours.”
“That’s great, Skylar. Try to have fun and don’t worry about Crystal. I’ll text you when she shows up. Don’t forget to call and let me know you’re okay.”
“The cabin has crappy cell service, remember? I’ll text when we’re on the road or shoot you an e-mail, okay?”
“Okay, baby.” She came closer, leaned down, and gave me a kiss on my lips, holding my chin like she did when I was little. “Be safe. I’ll miss you.”
“I’ll miss you too.”
I watched her walk down the hall to her room.
I felt bad—I’d never lied about something so big—but I pushed it away. Mom was wrong. She didn’t know everything about Crystal. She didn’t know what we’d talked about that day, didn’t see the look in her eyes, or how empty her house had felt. But I did, I knew. She didn’t plan on coming back.