She’d changed into shorts and a tank top and had her legs braced up on the railing, her head resting against the back of the chair, her shoes kicked off. I could see red marks in her feet from where her shoes had rubbed.
She took a sip of the smoothie. “Yum.” She reached for my hand and gave it a squeeze. “How are you feeling?”
“I went over and saw Crystal.”
“How was she? I tried to call from work but she didn’t pick up.”
“She was probably sleeping. She seems kind of depressed. Do you think we should get her some help? Like, what about therapy or something?”
“She wouldn’t go.” I could hear tension in her voice and knew she didn’t really want to talk. Her eyes were closed, her head still resting on the back of the chair like it was the first time she’d had a chance to relax all day. But after my conversation with Crystal I had even more questions about what had happened.
“Crystal told me what the guys really did.”
She opened her eyes and frowned at me. “What do you mean?”
“She told me how they kept you for days, and hurt you.… I’m really sorry that happened to you, Mom. You must have been so scared.”
Mom looked pissed off. “She had no right to tell you that.”
“She thought I knew. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t want you to have to think about those things.”
“Did you ever tell anyone?” I said.
“No.”
“Not even Patrick or Karen?”
“We didn’t want to talk about it.” Neither of my aunts or my mom had ever liked talking about their past, which made more sense now. But they barely talked about when they were kids, either. Mom had told me some things about her mother over the years, like that her name was Lillian and she’d been a good cook and liked to fish. She didn’t really talk about her dad.
“Crystal said you stole their truck.…”
“Yeah.”
“How did you get out of the warehouse?”
“Can we talk about this another time? I’ve had a long day.”
“You always say that when you don’t want to talk about something.”
“It’s always true.” She looked away, took a sip of her drink.
“Crystal said it was her fault that you guys had to run away.”
I could see a pulse beating in Mom’s throat. “She probably just meant because Dad and she used to fight a lot.”
“What about?”
“What’s this all about?” She looked at me again.
“I just wanted to understand. Why is that so weird?” What they went through was really horrible, and I got why they didn’t want to talk about it, but something still felt strange about it all, like they were hiding something else.
“Crystal doesn’t think,” Mom said, her voice angry. “She says all kinds of crap when she’s in one of these moods. It doesn’t mean anything.”
“It sure sounded like it meant something.”
“Who knows with Crystal?” She stood up. “I’m going to take a shower.”
I went into my bedroom, put on my headphones, and messed around with some beats, but when I played them back they all sounded angry, chaotic, confused. Like they didn’t know what they wanted to be yet.
Later that night I texted Crystal, said I was looking forward to going to the beach and asked if she wanted me to pick up anything on the way to her place.
She didn’t answer.
*
Around ten in the morning I threw my bathing suit in my bag, grabbed a towel and some lotion, and headed over to Crystal’s. She hadn’t answered any of my texts that morning or my phone call, but I figured she might still be sleeping.
When I got to her place, all the windows were closed and she didn’t answer the door. I knocked a few times and called out. Then I went around to every window, trying to see inside, but the blinds were closed. I checked around the back of the house—her car wasn’t in the carport. I thought about asking the upstairs tenants if they’d seen her but it didn’t look like anyone was home.
I went back to our apartment, disappointed Crystal had forgotten our plan. Maybe she had to go in to work or something. I texted her a few times that day and night, but she wasn’t answering any of my messages. I checked her Facebook, mostly photos of her with different guys and shots of her at the bar or partying with friends. She hadn’t updated her status since the night we were at the bar: Can’t wait to see the Headkickers! The bar will be rocking!
“I can’t find Crystal,” I said the minute Mom got home. “We were going to the beach.”
“I’m sorry, baby. But are you really surprised?”
I knew Crystal blew off lots of people, but I was hurt she did it to me. “She’s not answering my texts.”
“I’ve been trying her too. She probably just forgot her cell somewhere. She’ll check in soon.”
*
I came home from the gym the next day to find Mom watching TV and painting her toenails. She was working late that night at the hotel for a wedding.
“Mom, I need to talk.”
“What’s wrong?” She looked up, her face concerned.