“Like the ass I was. I left.” Jake sighed. “I left her dorm and went straight to a sorority house. I felt so damn guilty I just wanted to be numb; I wanted to disappear into it. So I drank my ass off, woke up in some other girl’s bed, and then found out a few hours later that at the exact time I was betraying Kacey and her father… her parents had both died in the accident.”
They were silent for a few minutes, until Jake added, “The worst part? It was a crossroads of sorts. I could have easily run to her, asked for her forgiveness, mourned with her. Hell, I could have been the friend she deserved. Instead, I blamed myself. I felt like it was my fault they died, that if I could have just stopped when she asked, they would still be alive.”
“Jake.” Char cupped his face. “That’s a lie and you know it. You couldn’t have prevented that by your actions, just like you couldn’t have caused it.”
“I think I know that now.” Jake said. “But I still felt like shit, it always haunted me, and honestly it was just too easy to ignore it, to embrace the mentality that I could live hard and do whatever. I wanted to be as far away from Kacey and everything she represented as I could.”
“She trusted you with her heart—”
“And I broke it.” Jake finished. “Into a million tiny pieces. And when given the chance to fix it, I stepped on the pieces, pushing them farther into the ground, destroying everything our friendship was.”
Char was staring at his chest, not moving.
“What are you thinking?” He whispered, knowing full well he sounded like a woman, but not caring in the least.
“I’m sad for you.” Char trailed her finger down his chest. “I’m sad for that fourteen-year–
old boy who’s still struggling to be the man he knows he’s supposed to be.”
“I am.” Jake reached for her face. “I am that man. I want to be that man. You make me want to be him.”
Char looked into his eyes, searching, waiting.
“Travis gave me something today.” He gently moved her away and walked over to the dresser; he opened the first drawer and pulled out the note.
“What’s this?” She took it from his hands.
“A note, from Bill.”
At Char’s gasp, Jake kept talking. “Travis was under strict instructions to give it to me under one condition.”
“What?”
“I fall in love.”
The letter dropped from Char’s hands and fluttered onto the floor. “Do you mean it?”
In two strides, Jake was in front of her. He lifted her into his arms and kissed her mouth, drinking every part of her in. “I do, I love you, and I’m sorry that I come with baggage. I’m sorry I have a past, I’m sorry I kissed a girl and made her cry, I’m sorry that the girl I made cry was you, I’m sorry I haven’t been the man I was created to be, but with you, Char…” Another hungry kiss. “I am him. You make me him, because you make me believe I can be.”
Char nodded as a few tears streamed down her face. “What’s it say?” She pointed down at the note.
“Everything I needed to hear,” Jake said honestly. “Everything I didn’t want to hear. He said your smiles should outnumber your tears.” Jake wiped away a few of her tears with his thumb, brushing them across her cheek. “He said I should treasure you as a partner, not just a lover.” Jake held her fingers to his lips and kissed every single one. “It’s almost as if he knew I would screw up, but loved me regardless.”
“Jake, that’s what love is.”
“Love.” Jake smiled. “Love isn’t effortless; it hurts. When I watch you my chest feels like it’s going to explode, when you touch me I feel it everywhere, when you breathe I hold my breath until you exhale. Love is hell, it’s torture, it drives a man insane, and it’s the scariest thing I’ve ever felt. I feel like I just jumped into a burning building… but Char, you’re my water. I just need to know one thing.”
“What?” She whispered.
“Will you come to my rescue?”
Chapter Fifty
Without answering, Char went up on her tiptoes and kissed Jake’s mouth. Her tongue met his, slowly pushing into his mouth as he tentatively kissed her back. She placed her hands on his chest and pushed him onto the bed.
“So help me God, Jake Titus, if you leave me a thank you note after tonight, I will hunt you down and kill you.”
Jake threw his head back and laughed. “Does that mean you love me?”
“Nope.” Char winked. “That means a woman scorned isn’t a pretty sight.”
“Oh.” His face fell.
“But.” She shrugged. “I guess since we’re confessing.” She dropped the rest of her clothing to the floor and stepped out of it. “I’ve loved you since I first saw you.”
“You loved me when I was five and hid in my parents’ bedroom because the fireworks were too loud during Fourth of July?”
“You had blonde hair.” Char remembered aloud. “It’s dark now, but when you were little, you had the blondest hair. I remember thinking I wanted to touch it because it was so pretty.”
Jake smiled, saying nothing, as his eyes drank her in.
“I wanted you to be my first kiss,” Char admitted, crawling onto the bed and straddling him.
Jake leaned up and whispered across her mouth. “How about I just be your last?”