“Certainly,” Angie said.
Stu looked from Angie to Lauren. “What kind of communication do you want to have, after the adoption?”
Lauren frowned. “What do you mean?”
“After the Malones adopt your child, you’ll want some kind of communication, I imagine. Phone calls on the baby’s birthday and perhaps Christmas. Letters and photographs at least once a year.”
Lauren drew in a sharp breath. It sounded like a gasp. She obviously hadn’t thought this far ahead, hadn’t realized that this adoption would change who they all were. She turned to look at Angie, who suddenly felt as fragile as a winter leaf.
“We’ll be in touch all the time,” Angie said to the attorney, hearing the catch in her voice. “We’re … Lauren is like family.”
“I’m not sure that kind of openness is in the best interest of the child,” the lawyer said. “Clearly delineated boundaries are most effective. We find that—”
“Oh,” Lauren said, biting down on her lip. She wasn’t listening to the lawyer. She was looking at Conlan and Angie. “I hadn’t thought about that. A baby needs one mother.”
David leaned over and took Lauren’s hand in his.
“We don’t have to have an adoption like everyone else’s,” Angie said. She would have said more but her voice softened, cracked, and she couldn’t think of anything. She couldn’t imagine letting Lauren just walk out of their lives … but what other end was there to all of this?
Lauren looked at her. The sadness in the girl’s dark eyes was almost unbearable. For once she looked old, ancient even. “I didn’t realize … I should have.” She tried to smile. “You’re going to be the perfect mom, Angie. My baby is lucky.”
“Our baby,” David said softly. Lauren gave him a heartbreakingly sad smile.
Angie sat there a moment longer, unsure of what to say.
Finally, Lauren looked at the lawyer again. “Tell me how it works best?”
The meeting went on and on; words were batted back and forth and committed to paper, black marks that delineated how each of them could behave.
All the while Angie wanted to go to Lauren and take the girl in her arms and whisper that it would be all right.
But now, sitting here in this room of laws and rules, surrounded by hearts that didn’t quite know what to feel, she wondered.
Would it be all right?
For the first time in anyone’s memory, it didn’t rain on Easter Sunday. Instead, the sun rose high in a clear blue sky. The sidewalks were full of people, most of them dressed in their Sunday best as they walked in all different directions to their churches.
Angie walked between Conlan and Lauren. Up ahead, the church bells started to peal. Her friends and family started toward the church, funneling inside.
Just outside the doors, Angie paused. Conlan and Lauren had no choice but to pause, too.
“We’ll tell them everything later. At the Easter egg hunt, right?”
They both nodded.
Angie felt for her wedding ring, twisted it around to hide the diamond. Such a trick wouldn’t fool the DeSaria women for long, but hopefully, they’d be too busy with the mass to notice. She took a step forward.
Lauren stopped her with a touch.
“What is it, honey?” There was a look in Lauren’s eyes that Angie couldn’t read. A kind of awe, perhaps, as if going to church with the family was a rare gift. Or maybe it was anxiety. They were all nervous about what would come next. “Here, take my hand.”
“Thanks,” Lauren said, looking away quickly, but not before Angie saw the girl’s sudden tears. Hand in hand, they walked up the concrete steps and into the beautiful old church.
The service seemed to take forever and still not last long enough. Angie concentrated on helping Lauren rise and kneel and rise again.
When Angie got her chance to pray, she knelt on the padded riser, bowed her head, and thought: Dear God, please show us the right way through all of this. Keep us safe. Protect and watch over Lauren. In this I pray, Amen.
After services were over, they all went downstairs to the basement of the church, where dozens of cakes and cookies were set out on the tables. Angie kept her left hand in her pocket as she talked to family and friends.
Finally the kids streamed into the hall, all talking at once, carrying the egg-carton-and-macaroni jewelry boxes they’d made.
The congregation began moving to the doors. They walked out into the cold, bright morning, a crowd of well-dressed people with something in common. They crossed the street and went into the park.
Angie started at the empty merry-go-round. Sunlight made it glisten like sterling silver.
Conlan came up beside her, slipped an arm around her waist. She knew he was thinking of Sophie, too. How many times had they stood here together, watching other children play and dreaming of their own? Saying quietly to each other: Someday.