Angie squeezed her eyes shut. “She wants to give the baby up for adoption. She thinks it will be the best thing for the baby.”
“It probably will be. She’s so young.” He came up behind Angie, but didn’t touch her.
“She said, Take my baby. Just like that.” She sighed, felt him stiffen. “It was like being in a car wreck. That’s how hard and fast it hit me.”
“You said yes.”
She heard the dullness in his voice. She turned to face him, thankful at least that he hadn’t pulled away. “What choice did I have? I love Lauren. Maybe I never should have let her into my heart—no. No, I won’t say that. I’m glad I did. She’s how I came back to myself. And to you.” She put her arms around his neck, held him close so that he had to look at her. “What if Sophia had asked this of us?”
“She’s not Sophia,” he said, and she saw how much it hurt him to say that.
“She’s somebody’s Sophia. She’s a scared seventeen-year-old who needs someone to love her, to take care of her. How can I say no to her? Do I tell her to give her baby to strangers when I’m right here? When we’re right here?”
“Damn you, Angie.” He pushed past her, went into the other room.
She knew she shouldn’t go to him, should give him time, but the thought of losing him again made her desperate. “How can we say no to this?” She crossed the room, came up beside him. “You could be his Little League coach—”
“Don’t.” His voice was barely recognizable.
“How can we say no?” she said again, softer this time, forcing him to face her. As she asked the question, she couldn’t help thinking about the day she’d gone to his workplace, when Diane had said: Twice I came into his office and found him crying.
He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “I don’t think I can go through this again. I’m sorry.”
She closed her eyes; those two words hurt all the way to the bone. “I know,” she said, bowing her head forward. He was right. How could they—she—risk everything again? Tears burned her eyes. There was no good answer. She couldn’t lose Conlan again … but how could she say no to Lauren? “I love you so much, Con,” she whispered.
“And I love you.” The way he said the words they sounded like a curse.
“This could be our chance,” she said.
“We’ve thought that before,” he reminded her dully. “Do you know what it was like for me, always picking you up, drying your tears, listening to you cry? Worrying that it was somehow my fault?”
She touched his face. “You had tears of your own.”
“Yes.” His voice was harsh.
“I never dried them. How could I when I never saw you cry?”
“Your pain was so big.…”
“It’s different this time, Con. We’re different. We could be a team. Maybe she’ll be able to go through with it, and we’ll be the parents we always wanted to be. Or maybe she’ll back out, and it’ll be just us. Either way, we’ll be okay. I swear it.” She dropped down to one knee, whispered, “Marry me, Conlan.”
He stared down at her, his eyes bright. “Damn you,” he said, sinking slowly to his knees. “I can’t live without you anymore.”
“Then don’t. Please …” She kissed him. “Trust me, Conlan. This time we’ll last forever.”
Lauren heard David’s car drive up. She ran to the front door and opened it, waiting for him.
For the first time in months, he was smiling.
“Are you ready for this?” he asked, taking her hand in his.
“As ready as I’ll ever be.”
They walked across the yard and got into his car. All the way to Mountainaire, he talked about the Porsche. Gear ratios and speed off the line and custom paint colors. She could tell how nervous he was, and strangely, his anxiety calmed her. When they reached his house, he parked the car, then let out a deep sigh and looked at her. “You’re sure?”
“I am.”
“Okay.”
They walked up the stone path to the Hayneses’ huge front door. David opened the door and led her into the cool, beige elegance of his home. “Mom? Dad?”
“Are you sure they’re home?” Lauren whispered, taking his hand.
“They’re home. I told them we needed to talk.”
Mr. and Mrs. Haynes came into the room fast, as if they’d been waiting just around the corner.
Mrs. Haynes stared at Lauren’s rounded belly.
Mr. Haynes studiously avoided looking at her. He led them into the sunken living room, where everything was the color of heavy cream and nothing was out of place.
Unless, of course, you counted the pregnant girl.
“Well,” Mr. Haynes said when they’d all sat down.
“How are you feeling?” Mrs. Haynes asked. Her voice sounded strained, and she seemed unable to meet Lauren’s gaze.
“Fat but great. My doctor says everything is perfect.”
“She got a full ride to USC,” David said to his parents.
“That’s fabulous,” Mrs. Haynes said. She glanced at her husband, who leaned forward in his seat.