“We’re not going to be in the same place for long, are we? We’re going to graduate in a month. You’ll be going to Brown, and I’ll be going to Stanford.”
“Ah, yes. Stanford. Good to see that all that tutoring I gave you—which you didn’t need—paid off.”
She socks me lightly in the ribs. “I’m serious. We haven’t exactly talked about this, but I didn’t think you’d be interested or invested in a long-distance relationship. That’s why I didn’t ask for something more from you.” Her voice softens. “I would say that I’m willing to make this work, but…I think it will be a lot more difficult than we both want it to be.”
I know she’s right. We’ll be living in different states on different sides of the country starting this fall and haven’t been officially dating to begin with.
“I think we should just let things happen as they come. No promises to make, no promises to keep. Let’s just enjoy each other’s company for as long as we’re able to.” I take a deep breath, and the cold night air fills my lungs. “Because if I’ve learned anything these last couple of years, it’s to spend every moment you can with the people you want to be with.”
***
When I’ve got twenty-seven more days to go, graduation arrives. There’s nothing to differentiate it from other ceremonies that have gone before, and I’m sure it’ll be no different from those that’ll come after it. The only thing it marks for us is freedom from Pembrooke High, and that couldn’t come soon enough.
Afterward, Kendele seeks me out and plants a happy kiss on my mouth, oblivious to Dad’s and Callie’s grins. She’ll be leaving in a couple of weeks to head to Stanford early, and we promised to spend the rest of the time she’s here together. Dad takes us all out for celebratory burgers and milk shakes. I think he’s secretly relieved that I managed to graduate, given all the bumps and false starts we’ve had over the years.
“So,” Callie whispers to me after Dad engages Kendele in conversation about the Washington Wizards, which both are avid fans of. “Are you guys going to do the long-distance thing?”
“I don’t think so.” I keep my voice low. “I really like her, and I know she likes me”—Callie rolls her eyes at this—“but I don’t think we’ve got it in us to make it last with thousands of miles between us. She’s not built for that kind of relationship, and I’m not sure I am either.”
“Aw, that’s too bad. I like her.”
“I knew you would. But we’ve talked it over, and I think we’ve both accepted that this is just for now.” I pause. “And as much as I think she’s great, I sometimes feel like I’m only using her as a substitute. Like I’m using her to forget.”
“About Okiku?”
“Yeah. It isn’t fair to her.”
Callie inhales deeply, the way she does when she’s going to ask something she’s afraid might anger me. “Are you okay? Is…is it still with you?”
I don’t really know what to call what’s housed inside my body, but the inflection in Callie’s voice seems to sum it up perfectly. “I’m fine. I’m used to being occupied by incorporeal spirits, remember? At least this one doesn’t talk back to me.”
“Are you still going through with the ritual?” Callie sounds genuinely frightened. “I’m not going to stand in your way, but I don’t think you should do it alone. I can extend my stay, so I can be here when you—”
“No.” I’m firm about this. Whatever happens, whether the ritual succeeds or not, I have to do this on my own. “Thanks, Callie, but this was intended to be a private ritual. It’s the only way.”
***
Fourteen more days to go—and I see him.
From across the street, I watch him waiting at the bus stop. He’s got a scar across his cheek and bloodshot blue eyes. He’s wearing a red baseball cap. I don’t know who he is, and if I had squelched the urge to wander the city tonight like I’ve been doing most nights, I never would have known he existed.
But he does exist—and so do the three young specters, frightened and despairing, clinging to his hips. I watch the smallest of those boys tug fitfully at the man’s hair, but he pays no attention to the ghosts on his back. The man only scowls at his watch and taps a foot impatiently on the concrete.
I turn away. I can see these ghosts even without Okiku by my side, and there’s no better proof that this was what I’ve been meant to do all along, with or without her.
***
Twelve more days to go, and I feel like I’ve got all the time in the world.