“I don’t know,” I said, my mind still feeling a little foggy. “I mean, we don’t really know yet. . . .” I wanted him to lean in closer, I wanted to keep him interested. I looked over to the couch and saw Tessa staring at me, her eyebrows up like a question.
“Listen”—he took another sip from his bottle and slid his hand to my waist—“I just wanted to say if you need someone to talk to, like, anytime, let me know.” I looked into his eyes—a deep chocolaty brown. “And if you ever need to skip a yearbook meeting, no worries, I’ve got you covered, okay?”
I swallowed hard. “Thanks, I . . .”
Miles suddenly appeared in front of us, holding out another beer. “I’m good.” I started to wave him away, but he took my palm and pressed the cold bottle into it.
“Drink, and be merry,” he said, trying to do a regal bow and almost falling down. “This girl has had a tough week,” he said to Daniel.
Daniel just nodded, as if willing him to leave us alone. Miles got the message and went back to the girls on the couch.
“Cheers.” Daniel clinked his bottle against mine. I put the cold bottle to my lips and took a long, deep swallow. It would feel good to drink it, to go deeper into that place, the place where it was easy to forget. But I didn’t want to say—or do—the wrong thing. Not tonight. Not here.
When I brought the bottle down, Daniel was studying my face. “Nico, Nico, Nico.” He shook his head with a slight smile.
I had no idea what he meant and I didn’t know how to answer him, so I just stood there, nodding and looking stupid. I didn’t do a lot of flirting, and didn’t know how to start now. The only guy who had shown any real interest in me before was Max’s little brother, Gabe, and I could never go there. No.
Daniel leaned against the wall as if he was just getting comfortable. He was about to say something else when I heard a voice from the other side of the room: “Hey, D, you in or what?”
I looked over and saw one of the senior guys holding up a pool cue. Another voice called, “Stop talking to that sophomore!” and the guys all laughed as they set up the pool table for a new game. I felt the blush on my cheeks creep down my neck and chest, making me blotchy with embarrassment.
“Yeah, I’m in,” Daniel called over his shoulder, keeping his eyes on mine. “See you at school, Nico, ’kay?” I liked how my name sounded from his lips.
“Okay, yeah. Great,” I said, too eagerly, as he walked away from me. My words hung in the air between us, playing over in my head and sounding worse each time. Okay, yeah. Great. Ugh.
I went back to the couch and squeezed in next to Tessa. “Daniel Simpson: so hot,” she whispered. “What did he want?” She nodded toward the pool table, where Daniel now prowled, holding a cue low over the green felt like he knew exactly what he was doing.
“Nothing, just asking about Sarah.” I took a drink of the beer in my hand, though I knew I shouldn’t. I willed myself not to drink any more, just to hold the bottle like a prop so no one would try to give me another one. Get yourself together. Nico, Nico, Nico.
I tried to rejoin the conversation around me, but I couldn’t help replaying what Daniel had said in my mind. My eyes kept going to the pool table, watching him, even as he finished his turn and joked with his friends—all of them tall and older, seniors like him. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and quickly slid it out. For some stupid reason, I thought it might be from Daniel. But it was from Mom: Having a good time? followed by a smiley emoji. I pictured her and Dad sitting there, worrying, waiting to see if I was okay. Suddenly, that sick feeling washed over me again and I was floating out of the room, the noise around me turning into a blurred hum. Tessa and Idina went on talking, laughing. Their voices cut through my head like a hot knife. I closed my eyes, but saw Sarah, that burned circle on her back. Who did that to her? Why?
I told Tessa I was ready to go.
“It’s like ten,” she scoffed. “Seriously?” Idina had gotten up and crossed the room to show some kids from school something on her phone. I saw Tessa eye the group with envy. “We just got here.”
“I’m super tired. My parents don’t mind getting me, you can stay,” I told her. I almost wanted Mom to come, to give her something to do, to let her feel like she was saving me.