I had several sexual experiences with gay guys when I was in high school. But it wasn’t until I was with my first straight guy that I really came alive in my sexuality. The worthiness I felt in knowing they were going against their own DNA just to be with me was unrivaled. Those brief encounters were the ones that made me feel something I’d never experienced before—special. No one could or ever would have them like I did. And, after I’d felt a high like that, I’d never gone back to gay men. I couldn’t, not with knowing what else was out there.
I understood why Levee worried about me. She loved me and hated the idea of me being hurt. But I didn’t have any other choice. I’d been irrelevant, inconsequential, and extraneous my entire life. But, when it came to men, I refused to accept that role. I needed to be the only exception—the one person capable of bending the laws of nature.
It was the only way my heart absorbed love.
“Henry? You still there?” Levee asked over the phone.
I rolled off the couch and made my way to my bedroom at the back of the bus. “I’m good, Levee. You know me. I’m just out for a good time.”
She breathed a sad sigh. “I hate it when you lie to me.”
I hated it too. But I didn’t want another lecture on something she couldn’t possibly understand.
She started to reply, but she was cut off by the beep of an incoming call.
I pulled the phone away from my ear and saw Evan’s name flashing on the screen. My heart squeezed and my breath hitched at just the sight. My whole body began to thrum with excitement. Shit, I was in so much trouble.
“Hey, Evan’s calling. I gotta go.”
“Okay, go, but this conversation isn’t over.”
“Sure, sure. Whatever. I love you, babe.” I didn’t wait for her reply before I switched calls. “Well, hello, sexy,” I purred.
He chuckled. “I guess that’s a step up from Maverick. What’s going on, Henry?”
“Oh, not much. The usual. Lighting the world on fire one mile at a time from the inside of a tour bus in Bumfuck, Egypt.”
“I don’t know how you do it. I’d lose my mind being on the road that much.”
“It’s not that bad. But I do get bored being alone so much.”
“Are you telling me megastar Henry Alexander doesn’t have an entourage?” His voice smiled, and I longed to see it.
Closing my lids, I tried to picture him. Those lips hiking at the corners as he stared down at me, warmth brewing in his eyes as he curled into my side, unable to go another minute without the contact. It would probably never happen, but the fantasy alone soothed my soul.
“Hardly. The band is on a different bus. Carter rides with me sometimes, but as you can imagine, he isn’t the best company. He just scowls at me a lot.”
I sucked in a sharp breath as he laughed freely, reminding me of how sexy he was when he momentarily let down his guard long enough to enjoy himself. It was something of beauty, and I missed it more than words could translate.
“Yeah, he did some scowling at me when I picked him up yesterday.”
I sat bolt upright. “I’m sorry—what? You picked him up yesterday?”
“You didn’t know?” He sounded thoroughly perplexed.
I was just thoroughly pissed.
It wasn’t a big deal that Carter had taken my plane back to do whatever urgent task he’d needed to take care of back in San Francisco. He’d told me that he’d meet back up with me at my next stop. And I was happy someone was using Evan’s services. However, I was nearly livid that that someone wasn’t me.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were going to be in town? I could have at least come to the airport to see you before you took off,” I snapped entirely too roughly.
“Uhhh… I figured you were busy. You are, after all, Henry Alexander.” He flourished to make me sound like a pretentious dick.
“And?” I drawled.
“And I’m not going to be one of your groupies waiting with bated breath for you to work me into your schedule. If you wanted to see me, you could’ve called.”
“First, I don’t have groupies.”
He actually laughed at my statement.
“I’m serious.”
“Henry, I’m not stupid. You don’t have to bullshit me. Half the world wants your attention. And you want me to believe that you’re just sitting around, waiting for me to let you know I’ll be in town for less than an hour?”
Clearly, he had no idea what I was capable of in less than an hour, but that wasn’t why I was upset.
“Yes! That’s exactly what I want you to believe because that’s what I’ve been doing since the day I met you. I would have dropped everything for less than an hour with you. Christ, Evan, I would have dropped it all only to wave at you from the runway as you took off. I just had no idea you were going to be in town. You should’ve called.”
“Orrrr…you could have called me. Seems like I’m always the one calling you. Phones work both ways, Henry.”
“I text you all the time,” I defended.
He laughed without humor. “Right. Once-a-day texts are the same thing.”
His sudden attitude made me cop my own. “I’m giving you your space!”
He immediately shot back, “Well, don’t!”
I blinked. “Well, don’t?” What was that supposed to mean? Don’t give him space?
“I need to go,” he said just seconds before he literally went.