I was in foreign territory with Evan. I knew how to pursue straight men. The game was simple. I’d gently push them to their limits, coaxing and convincing them that they wanted me. And then, when they finally broke and gave in to the tiniest urge, I’d take over and push it ten steps further to give them what they really wanted. However, if I had to go ten steps past the feelings Evan was pressing against my lips, I wasn’t sure I’d ever leave. And, with the way my lungs burned as I held him to my mouth, staying with him was an idea I could get used to.
I was so high on this man I wasn’t sure I’d ever come back down. And, in order to protect myself from the fall, I had to play this one safer than ever before. Evan seemed to be an open and willing participant, but his retreat was always lingering around us. When the novelty of being with me wore off, he’d be gone and I’d be faced with the hardest withdrawal of my life.
“Call me, okay?” I whispered against his mouth.
“I will.” He tossed me a heart-stopping smile, and it made my bones physically ache.
In that second, that smile belonged to me. But, as soon as the door closed behind me, I would have no claim over it whatsoever. Evan was gorgeous. Surely a woman was waiting in the wings to make her move. A woman I couldn’t complete with, especially not from thousands of miles away.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, clearly reading my somber mood.
Please don’t fall in love with a woman while I’m gone.
“Nothing.” I returned his smile, but if the pinch of his eyebrows was any indication, he wasn’t buying it any more than I was feeling it.
“Henry?” he said as I quickly stepped out of his embrace.
Forcing a smile, I patted his chest. “I’ll talk to you soon.”
He opened his mouth, but before I had a chance to cancel my next show or, at the very least, beg him to come with me, I walked away.
Two weeks later…
“I’m in love!” I told Levee over the phone.
She groaned. “Oh, God. Please tell me you’re kidding.”
“Okay, maybe love is a bit of an overstatement. But I really like him, and if you saw him naked, you’d totally get it. I’m considering purchasing the gym he goes to and installing security cameras so I can watch him work out.” I smiled, pulling the curtain on my tour bus back and watching the trees of whatever state we were traveling through rush past.
“Illegal and creepy. Sounds about right for you.”
I laughed and reclined back on the leather couch. “There is a fine line between creepy and romantic.”
“Word to the wise: Secret security cameras always fall under creepy. But I take it things are going well with your pilot?”
“Fantastic. I mean…I haven’t seen him in a few weeks, but he’s returned nearly all of my texts and even called me four times.” I lifted four fingers in the air as if she had been sitting next to me and not hundreds of miles away. “And twice he’s admitted to trying to forget me.” I smiled proudly.
“Uhhhh, you’ve spoken to him four times in two weeks and he’s trying to forget you? Should I start shopping for my bridesmaid dress now?”
“It couldn’t hurt to have one on standby just in case. And no, smartass. Trying to forget me means he was jerking off to me.”
“Henry!” she yelled accusingly.
I glanced around as if the empty bus could explain her reaction. Levee and I talked about everything—usually in great detail. A little wanking shouldn’t have fazed her.
“What?” I yelled back.
“Please tell me you did not send him naked pictures to jerk off to. You know they will be leaked, and you know they will end up all over the Internet, and then my daughter will have to grow up in a world where her Uncle Henry’s penis is just one accidental click away.”
My heart swelled. It didn’t matter that she was talking about my dick. It was the way she had called me Uncle Henry that had filled my soul. She’d called me that before, but the reminders that we were a family never got old.
“Please don’t call it a penis. You know he prefers his formal title.”
“Yes. Sorry. I forgot. Please relay my apologies to Prince Everhard. And then tell me you did not send any pictures to Evan.”
“You know the prince is camera shy,” I said with mock annoyance. However, my smile couldn’t have gotten any wider.
“Thank you, Lord.”
I switched my phone to the other ear and rolled to my side. “I mean, I guess there is always the possibility that he could have snapped a screenshot during one of our dirty video chats though.”
“My poor daughter!” she cried.
Unfortunately, I was only kidding. Evan and I hadn’t engaged in any late-night naked video chats. I’d thought about it a lot—dreamed about it, really. But, even though it was killing me, I didn’t want to push him too hard too fast. I hadn’t been joking when I’d said that I liked him.