‘I can’t fucking stand it, Claire,’ Maggie said, while Rain was resting. ‘I can’t stand what he did to her being inside my head, let alone my daughter going through it. And she told me she’s always hated herself.’ Maggie made a noise halfway between a growl and a scream, blowing smoke out of the back door. The women shared a knowing look, each feeling the same raging hatred towards Callum. ‘Things like that don’t happen to people like us, Claire. Not fucking rape. Not my daughter!’ She knocked back the shot of whisky Claire had poured each of them. ‘I’ve been such a crap mother.’
‘Me too,’ Claire said. ‘When you think about it, I allowed my kids to live with a monster.’ She prised Maggie’s cigarette off her, taking a couple of drags. ‘Been a long time since I did that,’ she said. ‘But fuck it. Everything’s different now.’
‘Rain was screaming out for help in all kinds of ways, but I didn’t see the signs.’ Maggie took back her cigarette. ‘She got pretty obsessed with Lenni’s story; said something about drawing in the dirt on the back of your car. She apologised profusely. And she left her shorts to be found too, again to make everyone worry. As if we weren’t worried enough.’ Maggie pushed the cigarette butt into a nearby plant pot.
‘Ah,’ Claire said. ‘That explains a lot.’
‘I have an apology of my own to make, actually,’ Maggie said, as they came back inside. ‘When we were kids, I stole your necklace, the one you and Lenni were both given. I was so bloody jealous of you, and that necklace represented everything I didn’t have – a loving family and parents that cared, a sister.’ It felt good to be honest after all this time, Maggie thought. ‘I brought it down with me to return. I was going to leave it in your room, but it disappeared before I had a chance. Turns out Rain took it.’
‘Oh, Mags,’ Claire said, hugging her. ‘It’s OK. I don’t care about the stupid necklace. He gave them to us.’ A look swept over her face. She couldn’t call him Dad any more. ‘He said they were lucky, would keep us safe. Lenni broke hers, so she just kept the charm in her pocket. They found it along with her shorts.’
‘For what it’s worth, I’m truly sorry.’
‘No need. Our friendship has always been stronger than that.’ And way stronger than the lies Callum told about Maggie too. ‘I’ll miss you both when you’ve gone, you know. Despite being the worst reunion in history, it’s been good to see you, Mags.’
‘The Cotswolds isn’t far. We’ll visit often, and you must bring Marcus and Amy to stay.’
‘We will. Just the three of us,’ she added, locking up the back door.
Chapter Seventy-Seven
‘So, there was no cash buyer?’ Nick asked Claire. While Maggie was sticking close to Rain – they’d moved into the Old Stables and were upstairs playing with Amy – he was also staying on to support Claire.
‘Jeff was vague. Embarrassed at not checking him out properly, I think,’ she replied.
‘Have you heard how Shona’s doing today?’ Nick slid a plate of toast in front of her, aware she’d hardly eaten the last few days.
‘Angus said she’s still in a bad way, barely functioning. She’s going to stay on with them for a bit, until Lenni comes home. The doctor gave her some tablets, so she’s getting a bit of sleep now at least.’ She took a tiny bite of toast, feeling sick. ‘Mum’s always been a fighter, just got on with things. But this… it’s destroyed her. I can’t stand it, Nick.’
‘Nothing will ever be the same again, you know that. But don’t rush yourself.’
Claire nodded, thinking. ‘All I know is that we have to get rid of this place as soon as Mum’s up to it. The whole lot, including the Old Stables. I can’t live here knowing what my sick fuck of a husband did. And knowing how close Lenni was all this time, I just can’t take it in. It’s almost like I need more proof, something to convince me I’m not going mad. How can the two men I loved most in the world be so evil?’ She pushed away the toast, feeling the anger rising again. ‘There’s something I need to do, Nick, but I can’t do it alone. Will you come with me?’
He nodded, following her as she grabbed the keys and marched up the drive. He didn’t want to leave her side for a moment. Claire unlocked the house and went straight to her father’s study, tensing up as they went in, pausing as if she’d caught a whiff of him, perhaps seeking some kind of explanation. It was all about getting answers now, something to ease the turmoil in her mind, to bridge the gap between what she’d believed about her father and the grim reality.
‘Jeff told me he’d seen the damage at Galen Cottage and reported it to the police. The damage I’d done.’ She paused, running over that morning in her mind. ‘I need my job more than ever now, so I didn’t tell him it was me. The police went up there to check it out and found a pair of glasses in a case.’ Claire sighed, hesitating before dropping down onto the old sofa. It still smelt of him.
‘How’s that significant?’
‘The glasses case was labelled with a name and address. My father’s name and address.’
‘Sometimes it’s best not to read too much into things, Claire.’ Nick could see where this was going.
‘It was him who scared the living daylights out of me at the viewing.’ She leant back against the cushions but sat up again. ‘Mum said he’d gone off in a right state that morning, after an argument about selling the farm. He must have got lost and confused.’ Claire’s hands were shaking as she pulled up Greene & Galloway’s website on her phone. ‘Look, that’s Galen Cottage. It’s so similar to the cottage where he’d kept Lenni.’ She dropped her head, stifling the sobs.
Nick nodded, checking it out. ‘They’re very similar. But Patrick wouldn’t have taken your bag and phone, surely?’
‘At the time, I was convinced someone had. But Jason proved otherwise. I was so scared, maybe I was mistaken. My father wasn’t the only one muddled and panicking.’
‘You think he was panicking?’
‘He would have been if he couldn’t find Lenni there. His dementia was getting worse.’ Claire leapt up, opening the old cupboard behind her, rummaging through decades of collected belongings – everything from trinkets and sticky whisky bottles, books and papers to old electrical items that Patrick had refused to throw away. It all spilt out onto the floor, her breathing getting faster, her cheeks reddening. ‘There must be something here that will help explain…’ She moved on to another cupboard filled with his watercolour paintings before glancing around the study with wild eyes. Then she targeted her father’s bureau, frantically pulling out the drawers and emptying them.
Nick came up to her, putting a hand on her shoulder. ‘Claire, stop. You don’t even know what you’re looking for. It’s not helping—’
‘I need to do this, Nick,’ she said, shrugging away, chucking more accumulated junk onto the floor. Dust motes speckled the air as she searched. She pulled down the desk flap, swiping away pens and pencils, stationery and notebooks – all the stuff the police hadn’t taken.
She stopped for a second, staring at the ceiling, thinking. ‘The compartment,’ she whispered, pulling out a mini drawer at the back of the desk. ‘The police wouldn’t have known to look here when they’d gone through his belongings. He once showed it to me and Lenni. He told us it was a secret. We thought it was the coolest thing ever. Look…’ Claire removed the false bottom beneath where the drawer had been. ‘He used to let us stash sweets in here, so Mum wouldn’t…’ She trailed off as she spotted it. ‘Nick?’ she said, turning to him.
He reached in and took out the phone.
‘Mum was looking for that everywhere. He refused to use it. I didn’t even know he had one until recently.’