The Friend Zone is as Real as Narnia
posted by Izzy O’Neill in Bitches Bite Back
The Friend Zone An imaginary area filled with self-professed Nice Guys who’ve been sexually rejected by women they’ve been Nice to. ?See also: A convenient social construct designed to comfort men who cannot cope with rejection. ?See also: A manipulative tool used by Nice Guys to make a woman feel guilty for not wanting to have sex with them.
The Nice Guy Phenomenon In which self-entitled men believe that if they spend enough time with a woman and aren’t explicitly terrible to them, it’s unfair when the woman doesn’t then suck their penis and/or fall in love with them.
Poor Nice Guys. It must be so difficult, putting all of that effort into pretending to be a decent human being without being rewarded with sex or love afterward. They listen to our problems, buy us gifts, shower us with compliments, talk to us about all the other horrible guys we’re dating, and yet! And yet we still don’t tear our clothes off and fall into their arms. We keep going for those other dudes, the ones with charisma and personality. The ones we’re attracted to, the ones who make us laugh, the ones who make us feel good. It is just so unreasonable and infuriating. They must really regret falling for such a Bitch.
To that I say: cry me a river. You should be nice because it’s the right thing to do. If you’re nice because you want something in return, you’re probably not that nice at all.
I mean, maybe we can blame Hollywood. The invariable message of most romantic comedies is that men can be as lazy or slutty or awkward or obnoxious as they like, but as long as they’re relatively nice and keep trying, they’ll get the girl in the end. The below-average and perilously flawed man always ends up with the beautiful girl if he puts in a little effort and isn’t an outright dickhead to her. The bar is so low that Nice Guys who watch it must see it and think, huh. I can do that. And if I do, I’ll get any woman I want. Who is she to say no? Who is she to have a choice?
But I’ve got a news flash for you, Nice Guys: the world doesn’t work that way. Sure, it’d be great if you could get anything you wanted – a job, a promotion, a mortgage – by being a semi-decent person and trying quite hard, but that’s not reality. Just ask the millions of disadvantaged people around the world who face discrimination based on their gender, race, sexuality, class and disabilities every day.
That’s probably why the Nice Guys are so angry. In a system that inherently favors them, it’s the first time they aren’t automatically getting what they want just because they want it. Their privilege is no longer doing the heavy lifting, and they’re mad about it.
This entitlement has to stop. The world owes you nothing. Girls owe you nothing.
We do like good guys. You just aren’t one of them.
Epilogue
Dear Izzy,
I’m a screenwriting agent based in West Hollywood, and was a judge during the shortlisting phase of this year’s Script Factor. I championed your screenplay from the get-go. It’s clever, topical and downright hilarious. You have a big talent, and should be very proud of your work.
However, I’ve recently learned about the disqualification of your entry. I strongly believe this is a terrible (and, frankly, cowardly) decision on the part of the organizers, and I can’t even begin to imagine how disappointed you must be.
Next time you’re in LA, give me a call. I’d love to meet with you in person to discuss the future of your screenwriting – and the possibility of representation at our agency.
You’re going places, Izzy O’Neill, and I’d like to be on that journey with you.
All the very best,
Eliza Kennedy