I realized that saying how miserable I was only made Jada more miserable, too. So I learned to keep my mouth shut and deal, to not spread the pain. Let happy people be happy—why ruin that?—and find my happy where I could.
Bring your own sunshine. That was my motto. Pick your heart up off the floor when it was smashed, put it back together as best you can, and paste on a smile. Go on. It’s life. No one ever said it would be easy and if they did, they flat-out lied.
The sunlight streamed through the windows of Jada’s bedroom and I turned to look at my sister. The light made her even more radiant.
“I didn’t go through it or anything,” she said. “As soon as I saw the cassette tapes, I knew it was yours so I closed it back up.”
I released a heavy breath and walked to the window looking over the base of the mountain. Cane Alexander, Jada’s husband, had positioned their bedroom in AH, short for Alexander House and our nickname for their home based on the name Cane dubbed the project when he had it built, for optimum viewing pleasure. They could literally lie in bed and watch the lights twinkle below. He hadn’t missed a single detail, which was a testament to how much he loved my sister. Cane typically did things with wider brush strokes but, when it came to Jada, his attention to detail was relentless.
The thought of Cane being so caring and considerate to Jada was endearing. When I met him originally, he was the ultimate player and bad boy. I had been at Max’s house and Cane had swung by. He had given me a smirk and made more vulgar comments about his evening than I cared to remember. Max, on the other hand, was the opposite; he was kind, thoughtful, and unfailingly sweet. Although Max’s antics in the sheets outdid the tales Cane was telling, he would never say that. Not in front of me, anyway—it wasn’t his style.
Max really liked Cane and there was something about their interaction that night that cut through Cane’s vulgarity, something that gave me a clue that there was more to Cane Alexander than the man whore he portrayed himself to be. That’s the only reason I didn’t object to Max bringing Cane to meet my sister when she returned to Arizona after her divorce. If Max trusted him, I trusted him.
“Thanks for not throwing this out,” I laughed nervously, tucking the box under my arm.
It had been a great Saturday afternoon. Jada and I had made our mother’s spaghetti and meatballs while Cane and Max watched football. I did the dishes so Jada could rest her feet and take a short nap. After that, we went through the rest of her “must have list” for the baby.
I turned to watch my sister struggle to get off the bed. Her belly had begun to pop, swelling with the growing baby inside. She put a hand on the bed and the other on her stomach and slowly got to her feet.
“You okay?” Jada asked me, rubbing her belly.
I smiled, walking to her and rubbing it, too. “I am. I’m excited to meet the little jellybean.”
“I’m so excited, Kari,” she confessed. “I mean, I have quite a bit of time left, but I’m already sad thinking about it being over. It’s just that once you find out you’re pregnant, everything changes. Silly, I know, but it’s true.”
“It’s not silly,” I said weakly, feeling a lump form in my throat. “You were made to be a mom. Look at how you took care of me growing up.”
“Well, I don’t know about that.”
“I do. And I miss you around the house,” I told her. Jada had lived with me for a while after coming back to the Valley, up until Cane asked her to marry him. “By the way, I’ve found a few things of yours laying around. I’ll bring them by this week.”
She gave me a puzzled look. “I don’t remember leaving anything. What was it?”
“Just random things. A phone charger under the bed in your room and a pair of boots. Oh! And a tube of red lipstick called Ruby Woo by MAC.” I furrowed my brow as I recalled the fiery color. Jada and I were both a darker complexion and I couldn’t imagine her wearing it.
“Red? That must be yours because I don’t wear red. You know that.”
“Weird. It isn’t mine. Maybe it’s Lara’s,” I said, shrugging my shoulders. Lara hadn’t been over for months, but the tube was dusty when I pulled it from behind the plant by the back door.
I let out a sigh and turned back to the glass. My house felt so empty without Jada. I found myself spending less and less time there . . . and more time with Max.
But the more time I spend with Max, the messier things get.
“I’m not prying, but is everything okay? You just seem . . . off. I know I’m married and having a baby, but I’m still your sister. And I also know that I’ve not always been there for you like I should have been, but I want to be now.”
“You have nothing to make up for. Everything’s fine. I’m not going to burden you with my stuff.” I turned to face her.
“You are never a burden to me.”
“I just think all this marrying and baby making from you and Cane is putting ideas in Max’s head.”