It was too much. I wasn’t good enough—nothing was ever good enough. Throwing the soap dispenser against the wall, I gripped the sides of the sink and took deep breaths through my nose. I can be good enough. I’m as strong as Mother. No, I’m stronger. I am a stronger person, and I will not fail. I. Will. Not. Fail.
The music cut and the CD player loudly flicked to the next CD. I waited. A woman’s voice filled the silence. I hadn’t heard the song, but it was very mellow and calming. Whoever it was had a beautifully raw voice.
Turning around, I walked out of the bathroom and hauled the body over my shoulder. I dumped her outside her house and went to retrieve my car. The trunk was spacious and the body fit easily. The canal was only a short drive from here. It wouldn’t be too long until I was back with my girls.
I threw my bag in beside the body and slammed the trunk closed. “Good-bye, whore.”
22
LEWIS
Friday, January 28th (Present)
I woke up, startled by a loud thud. Looking at the clock, I saw that it was just before half past five in the morning. My heart leaped into my throat. Summer! Was it her? I jumped out of bed and sprinted down the stairs, almost bumping into Dawn and Henry. Daniel was ahead of us, already reaching for the front door. I missed so much—six months of her life, her seventeenth birthday. I didn’t want to spend another second without her.
Daniel pulled the door open, and I held my breath, praying it would be her. My heart sunk when Detective Michael Walsh walked in. The grim expression on his face made my blood run cold. Something had happened.
“W-what? What’s h-happened?” Dawn stuttered. Tears already rolled down her cheeks. “Where’s my baby?”
Michael, as he’d asked us to call him, stepped into the house with another officer. He was the only one who let us call him by his first name. I wasn’t sure if it was to make us feel more relaxed around him and trust him more or if he had a daughter Summer’s age and felt more compassion. “Can we sit down, please?” I backed away and sat down on the sofa. Time stood still. The world stopped spinning. I almost didn’t want to hear what he was going to say. “We’ve found Summer’s cell phone,” he started, “in a Dumpster by the canal.”
The blood froze in my veins. No it can’t be Summer’s. “Are you sure it’s hers?”
He nodded. “Yes. Someone found it and after seeing the background picture, instantly handed it in to the police.” Her background picture was of us lying on her bed. She had taken the picture after our one-year anniversary dinner. That was the first time I was allowed to stay in her room overnight. Although the door had to be open at all times.
Dawn gasped. “Is it still on? She always had it on.”
Michael’s mouth set into a grim line, and I looked away. I gritted my teeth as searing pain tore through my whole body. She wasn’t using it and that meant someone had her. Or someone had killed her. “We think someone else dumped the phone—not Summer. It seems unlikely a teenage girl with no known reason to leave home would throw away her cell. We’re assembling a team as we speak, and as soon as it’s light, we’ll search the water. I’m so sorry I don’t have any better news.”
“You think my daughter’s in the canal?” Dawn whispered.
Michael nodded his head and dropped his eyes to the floor. “That’s a possibility. I’m so sorry.”
I jumped up, finding some fight left. This is all wrong. “She’s not dead. I would know if she was dead.” Why the fuck wouldn’t they listen to me when I told them that? My girlfriend was not dead. My throat went dry and I stopped breathing. She isn’t, is she?
“Calm down.” Henry stood up and stood in front of me. He had the same color eyes as Summer. I wished it were hers staring back at me. “Her phone was found by a canal, Lewis,” he said, tears welling in his eyes. Her phone not her. I would never give up hope.
I backed away from him and shook my head. “She’s not dead,” I repeated and walked back up to Summer’s room. Summer was alive, and no one was going to make me believe anything else.
Since I was already up, I decided not to waste any time getting out there. There was never enough time. Every night when the sun set, I wished for just a few more hours of daylight, always wondering if we went home just five minute too early.
I walked out of the house and got in my car, eager to leave. I couldn’t be there. How could they just give up on her?
The damn phone didn’t mean anything. She isn’t dead. I could tell what was wrong with her before she even knew it. She was such an open book—to me anyway. I could read her so easily. I could finish her sentences and understand what she was thinking just by looking at her face. We were too close for me not to know if she was dead.
Taking a deep breath, I put the car into first and was just about to pull off when I saw Henry in the mirror, running toward me and holding his arm up. What now? I wound the passenger window down but swung the door open. “If you’re coming, Henry, just get—”