When everyone had finished their meal, I excused myself and made my way to my room to get changed for the night. I needed to see my Shannen. That girl seemed to occupy my every thought—she never left my mind. She was the one I thought of when I fell asleep by myself every night. I wanted nothing more than to look after her—but I wanted her in the house with me. I had only known her for three weeks, but she already meant so much more. Shannen was my one and only chance at a traditional relationship.
I dressed in smart black trousers, a gray sweater, and slipped on my long, black coat. Everything had to be perfect. I combed my hair, spraying hairspray on thick, so not one strand would be out of place. My appearance had never been so important as it was tonight. I wanted to be the best I could be for her. I wanted to give her the world, to share my world with her.
The drive to the supermarket next to her hostel was short. I wanted it to be longer so I had a few more minutes to calm my nerves. It wasn’t something I was used to, nerves around women. I half liked it. Parking the car, I spotted her immediately as she walked out of the hostel and toward the field behind it.
My heart rate spiked. She was very beautiful even though she wasn’t looking after herself as well as she should. I would help her with that. We would look after each other. I walked behind, watching her long brunette hair blow softly in the warm, early May breeze. She turned suddenly, no doubt finally hearing my footsteps crunching over the stones.
“Hello again, Shannen,” I said.
Her cheeks flushed light pink and she smiled. “Hello, Colin. I’m going to sit by the trees. Would you like to join me?”
“That would be lovely.”
We walked in silence across the grass field to the trees at the back. I sat down beside her, ignoring the uneasy feeling in my stomach caused from sitting on the dirty ground. “How has your day been?”
“The same,” she replied, shrugging her shoulders and looking at the floor. “I’m glad you’re here, though.” She blushed through her admission, and I knew then we were perfect for each other and this would work.
I took her hand and squeezed. She shouldn’t feel shy with me; I wanted her to be confident and relaxed. “Me too. I missed you today.”
Everything was different with Shannen. She was the one. I knew that; she just made me feel…happy. A part of me felt guilty for feeling more for her than the other girls, but I couldn’t help it. Shannen was perfect, everything a woman should be. I wanted her to live with me, to be my wife—my everything. She reminded me a lot of my mother, so I knew she would understand about the girls.
“How was work?” she asked. Her question was genuine—she really wanted to know. That was what I loved the most about her. She cared so much about people even though others have treated her badly. Her family had turned their backs on her, but she was still kind and caring.
“It was good, thank you, although a very long day.” She nodded, playing with a blade of grass. I closed my eyes and took a calming breath; she had no idea how dirty that was. Anything could be on that grass. “What have you been doing today?”
“I read a little and then came out here.”
“And how was everyone else in the hostel?” I frowned as I thought about the incident she described two nights ago. Some vile whore had hit her while trying to steal what little money she had left, leaving behind a faint red handprint on her left cheek.
She shrugged, looking down at the floor. “They were fine.”
“Don’t lie to me,” I snapped, instantly regretting it as she flinched.
She stood, ripping her hand from mine. “I should go now,” she whispered, wrapping her arms around herself.
I rose to my feet quickly, panicking that she was going to walk off and leave me. “No, Shannen. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped like that. I just hate the idea of anyone treating you badly.” I took her hand and squeezed it, being careful not to hurt her tiny frame. “Forgive me, Shannen, please?”
She smiled and nodded. “Yeah, I forgive you. It’s okay. Want to go for a walk?”
“Absolutely.”
We walked along the footpath. Every time I came to see her, we would meet in the field and then go for a walk. I led her around the lake—our usual route—and slipped my hand into hers.
“It’s beautiful tonight.”
“Yes, it is,” I agreed.
“My dad used to take me outside in the evenings and we’d watch the stars appear in the sky,” she said and looked down at the ground. Her voice was filled with sadness and regret. She had never mentioned anything about her family, other than that they fought and she left.
“What happened, Shannen? How did you end up here?”
“Please don’t,” she whispered. “I don’t want to talk about it.” I nodded, pushing away my anger at her not answering my questions. My girls answered my questions, always.
“Look, why don’t you stay with me for a while? At least until you get yourself sorted out.”
“I appreciate that, Colin, but I can’t.”
I sighed in frustration. Why couldn’t she just do what I wanted? I wasn’t used to it and I didn’t like it. “Would you like to get a late dinner somewhere?” I asked, frowning at her tiny, fragile wrist. She bit her lip as she considered my offer. “Please? It’ll be my treat. I’d like to.”