The Broken Pieces of Us (The Devil's Dust #2.1)

“Those bitches don’t know shit about sex, nothing about what they want in bed, or what a man needs,” I explain. She turns her head and nods, a smile hiding behind those pursed lips.

“Besides, I don’t love them,” I confess, my heart hammering against my chest with my confession, scared at what her reply may be. She turns and smiles, her cheeks turning a shade of red that matches her lips.

“You really love me?” she asks, like my confession is a joke.

I grab her by the nape and pull her to my face quickly.

“I swore I would never fall for another woman after the first one shit on me, yet you came in with your red lips and sassy mouth, making me cross a line, breaking laws and falling face first into feeling for you. Don’t question my feelings for you ever again,” I say, my voice confident and stern. Her lips release a whimper as her eyes tear up, making me kiss those cherry lips to comfort her.



I’m setting up tables at the beach, putting out large plastic bowls of cheese dip with chips on the side, and a cooler with soda and beer. I adjust the strap of my black, one-piece swimsuit and wipe my sweaty palms off on my cutoff jeans. The sun will be setting soon, but not soon enough with this heat.

“Your dip is fantastic, babe,” Bull whispers in my ear, sending chills up my back in this hot weather. I smirk as I position the plate of hot dogs just right. Hawk sure does know how to BBQ.

I look over my shoulder and watch Bull take his shirt off, his tattooed body soaking in the sun. I can’t deny I’m in love with Bull, and I’m done with this hiding shit. We either come out together, or we are done. I can’t keep doing this. I bite my lip, my nerves getting the best of me. What if he’s against telling everyone and offs me. I feel broken, like a mirror shattered and splintered, pointing to every which way of uncertainty.

I walk up to the waterline, looking at my reflection. Should I ask him to do this?

“I can hear you thinking. What is it, babe?” Bull asks, looking out at sea.

“Us,” I blurt. I roll my lips, pissed I just said what I was thinking without thinking about how to say it.

“Us?” Bull asks, his body puffs out with the question. I try and read more into his voice. Is he scared of what I’m going to say, or relieved I’m bringing it up?

“What about us?” he asks, his tone not giving anything away. I brace myself, close my eyes, and inhale deeply. I deserve a life, deserve a love that loves me back and can share it with everyone.

“I want to tell Locks. I want to tell everyone. I want to file for divorce. I want to be with you,” I babble, my body wracking from the lack of breath.

“Whoa, baby, breathe,” Bull whispers, grabbing me by both shoulders. He looks over his shoulder, watching to see if anyone saw my outburst. That’s not a good sign; he’s not ready.

“It’s not that easy,” he mumbles, exasperated. “You think I wouldn’t have claimed your ass already if it was that easy?” Bull questions, his head tilted to the side as he speaks. “As much I hate saying the words, you are Locks’ until he lets you go, babe, divorce or not. You know our life has its own set of laws.” I pull my gaze from his and stare at the sea, my eyes stinging from tears I’m trying not to shed. It’s that point where you have to decide if the risk of what you want is worth what you have.

“I can’t do this anymore. I can’t pretend you’re mine when you’re not,” I nearly yell, not caring if anyone hears me.

Bull looks out at the crowd and back at me, and nods. He fucking nods. What is that supposed to mean?

A tear springs from my eye; he is not going to risk his club over me.

“I’ll…” he pauses, “I’ll figure this out. Just give me a few days to figure out a way around it,” Bull whispers, grabbing my forearm. I hold a sudden breath, waiting for a “but.” “Give me time to do this right, darlin’.” He stops himself and groans. I can’t help the tears that well up, tears of happiness. We are going to do this. I am finally going to be happy and loved. But what is his plan? What if it doesn’t work and the club riots against us sleeping together behind Locks’ back?

“What if whatever you have planned doesn’t work?” I question, thinking worst-case scenario.

“Then we’ll pack our bags and run,” Bull laughs, his tone not serious. “It’s my club; whatever I want will work. I just need it to go smoothly,” he continues. I sigh and shake my head in understanding.

Bull smirks. “Now, enjoy the party, babe.”

Hours pass since I have arrived. I’ve had to literally apply a whole bottle of sunblock to keep from burning. Not sure this beach idea was the best idea for someone with fair skin such as myself, but I can’t help but feel giddy and excited; everything is finally falling into place. I look over the table and notice the chips are gone, but plenty of dip is left.

“Shit,” I mutter.