Lia swallowed, waiting patiently for him to reveal himself.
“As I told you, I used to wander the grounds at night. I knew what happened after dark. I knew which learners stole away into the cemetary to kiss each other…and worse. I knew the secret habits of the Abbey. Who was brought in to see the Aldermaston at night to face punishment for their offenses.” He closed his eyes. “I knew many of their offenses and felt smug that I was never caught for mine. You grew up in the kitchen. You know that nearly everyone uses the main door. I used to climb the ridge of the rear door and look in the windows. You and Sowe were little, but I would try and catch glimpses of Ailsa. I was bored, nothing more. That night, she was bathing.” He shook his head, his face grimacing with shame. “And Jon found me. He thrashed me. He thrashed me good. I had never seen him so angry. He said he had seen me on other nights. He knew all along what I was doing. I thought I was being clever. He would tell the Aldermaston, he said. Worse, he would tell Martin…Martin – who I admired more than any man…who I loved as a father. I was sick with shame. I could not face them. So I left Muirwood, bleeding. I left with its scars on my face and in my soul…and hence my nickname.” He clenched his hands into fists and trembled with the pent-up emotions. “Of course, I turned the shame into accusation. I could not live with myself. It was the Aldermaston’s fault. If he had let me train with Martin, then Jon would not have found me out. The more I thought about it, the more I hated him and then everything about the Abbey. I left without completing my years of service.”
Lia felt pity for him. She had never known. No one had ever breathed the story, least of all Ailsa. “Where did you go?”
“I wandered the Bearden Muir a little. But I was good at sneaking around and stealing. I went from town to town, earning my coins with my fingers but mostly with my wits. I had a good memory, you see. I could hear something once and remember it. I mingled with the dregs of this kingdom and then took it into my head to sell what I knew to the sheriffs. I worked for Almaguer, who was always looking for a way to disgrace the Aldermaston. He hated Muirwood. So did I. Anytime a maston passed through the country, he would pay handsomely to know about it. I did not care about what happened when I told. I tried to ignore the whispers that they were being killed, one by one. I knew the sheriff was a part of it and I hoped that someday he would be strong enough to bring down Muirwood.” His teeth clenched and he shook his head. “Before Winterrowd, I was pretty good at my games. I was always looking to turn a profit. Sell information to Almaguer and then try to sell freedom to one being hunted. Or to deliver a message for the condemned. The night I dragged the Earl of Forshee…I knew I had someone important, though I did not know who it was. He was not just a maston…I knew he was a nobleman as well. They were starting to gather in this Hundred. I abandoned him at the kitchen, ready to earn my fee again. But somehow, you were the fox and I was the cub. When Almaguer arrived to claim him, he was gone. Oh, I was nearly killed for my treachery. I searched the grounds but could not find where you had hidden him. I was so afraid Jon would find me, I had to be very cautious. So I went back to you, to trick you into revealing him. Do you understand what the curse did to me? I could not speak! That was the way I earned my bread. The way I deceived people. I have spent a year not being able to speak. The medallion was the only way I could communicate, but only those who used the Medium could understand my thoughts.”
“When we met in the tunnel beneath the Pilgrim, you wanted me to open it. I thought you were going to kill me.”
“No!” he said, shaking his head violently. “I knew you could free me! When I discovered the Leering in the woods, the one you used to destroy Almaguer, I knew you were powerful with the Medium. Very powerful. You would be strong enough to destroy the medallion. I knew that. And so did the Queen Dowager. When she discovered me with the remnant of the king’s army, she took control of me. She is powerful too. I was forced to do her bidding. She wanted me to bring you to her. I never wanted to hurt you, Lia. Not when I knew how much Martin cherished you. I knew he did because he cried that night. The night you were brought to him.”