He shook his head. “No, come in, please. It’s only been Bert in here for days, and the guy isn’t much for company.”
I thought of the many silent hours spent in Bert’s company and laughed. I pushed the door the rest of the way open and closed it quietly behind me. I dragged the desk chair across the floor and sat in it, next to Ash. He looked mildly disappointed but kept his comments to himself.
“Are you okay?” I asked, reaching for him but then pulling my hand back. I folded my hands together and held them in my lap.
“I’m fine,” he assured me, “fit as a fiddle, whatever that means.”
“I’ve been…” I swallowed hard, overwhelmed by the sudden emotions that were flooding in. “I’ve been so worried about you.”
He reached for my hand and pulled it close to him, placing it on his chest. “Zoey Valentine, worrying about me? The world must be coming to an end.”
“Don’t joke,” I said, my voice dipping in a barely held back sob. “I thought you were going to die. You were shot, and there was so much blood, and I thought you were going to die.”
“Hey, hey, hey,” he said, his voice gentle. His grip on my hand tightened, and I looked up into his pale blue eyes, full of something I was almost afraid to identify. “I’m okay. I’m going to be okay. Look at me, Z.”
I looked up at him, trying as hard as I could to control the tears that had been threatening to spill for days. My lip quivered as I attempted a smile.
“I was scared for you,” he said, slowly. “I promised your dad, and I promised your mom that I would protect you. When I was shot, the only thing running through my mind was that you would be alone and there would be no one left to protect you. I didn’t care about me.”
I ran the back of my hand across my eyes, taking my tears with me. “You shouldn’t…you should never think that way. You are important. You matter to me.”
He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, my hand rising against his chest. “Can you please come here? You’re so far away.”
The bed was fairly large, with enough room for the two of us to lie together, if we didn’t mind being close. I wanted to be close to him, to touch him and make sure that he was real. Not being able to see him the last few days was torture. I hesitated, and then climbed up into bed with him. The roughness of his jeans grazed my bare legs and I was grateful for my brief moment of vanity in the shower.
We stayed quiet for a moment, and I stared at the ceiling, ready to count the squares, if that’s what it came down to. There was a heat spreading through me, and we were still a few inches apart. Ash sighed and then, in one quick movement, pulled me toward him, his arms wrapped tightly around my waist.
I squeaked at the sudden closeness, my cheek pressed against his chest. “I don’t want to hurt you. You’re still healing.”
He chuckled a little, and the sound vibrated through his chest and my face. “You can’t hurt me. The only way you can hurt me is if you leave me alone with Bert again for three more days.”
I laughed. “Come on. Bert isn’t that bad.”
He squeezed his arms tighter around me, and I found myself wrapping an arm around his waist, ready for snuggling. “No, no, he’s not. He took us in. He saved your life.”
“And yours,” I pointed out, my fingertips pressed lightly to the bandage on his ribs.
He shrugged. “You were more important. And you saved my life. You saved me from Razi and her psycho doctor clones. You were fearless. You could’ve left without me, but you didn’t.”
“I wouldn’t ever leave you behind,” I said sharply. “Don’t even say that.”
He pulled back a little, his eyes finding mine. My eyes took in his gaze, hungrily. I would never get tired of looking at him. If it was he and I together, for the rest of our lives, against the world, I would be okay. I would be more than okay. “Well, we’re together, and that’s all that matters.”
I hesitated, wondering if it was the right moment to tell Ash about Sanctuary. I decided it could wait. He felt safe right now, and I didn’t want to ruin it for him, not yet. I didn’t want to tell him that we would have to make yet another journey. “Yeah, Ash, that’s all that matters.”
He raised a bandaged hand to my face, and lifted my chin so that our faces were even closer than before. “Are you okay, though, Z? I mean, sorry, Zoey.”
I felt a shock rip through me at his correction and a blush rushed through my face. “It’s okay, Ash. You can call me Z,” I said, softly, staring at a point above his head, afraid to look him in the eyes. “I kind of like it.”
His hand shot out, wrapping around the back of my neck and dragging me toward him. “I have a confession to make too.”