Thank you to my agent, Kerry Sparks, who boarded an airplane with the first ten chapters of The Assistants in her carry-on luggage and landed a few hours later ready to take a chance on me, and to everyone at Levine Greenberg Rostan, especially Tim Wojcik and Lindsay Edgecombe.
Thank you to my editor, Kerri Kolen, who is everything I could ask for in a collaborator and partner in crime (her proficiency in the late-’80s oeuvre of Shelley Long is just a bonus), and to Ivan Held, Alexis Welby, and the entire Putnam publicity team.
Thank you to Amy Einhorn, who saw the potential in an early version of The Assistants when no one else did. And to Dana Spector at Paradigm, who believed very early on that this book could make a fun movie.
Thank you to David Granger for pretty much every good thing that’s happened to me in the past five years. I will be forever grateful to you, David. And to Tyler Cabot, who wishes he could be a jerk but is one of the best guys I’ve ever known. Thank you also to Joanna Coles and all of my talented coworkers at Cosmopolitan for their support and encouragement.
For being the sole reader of countless drafts of this manuscript and my trusted confidant, I’d like to thank Victoria Comella. I’d also like to thank Summer Smith for her advice and guidance. Courtney Gillette and Emily Moore, you’ve helped me become a better writer and a better person.
For their friendship (and patience when I disappear from the face of the earth for days, weeks, and sometimes months at a time), I’d like to thank Shellie Citron, Tiana Peterson, Mary Barbour, Elyssa Kilman, Ana Saldamando, Laura Lampton Scott, Joanna Greenberg, Penny Citrola, Amy Badagliacca, Lisa Jusino, Natalia Chiemi, and Alison O’Connell.
Thank you to all of my friends and former coworkers at the East Meadow Public Library and the Great Neck Library, especially Susan Newson, Harriet Edwards, and Frances Jackson. Thank you to my former teachers Priscilla Gray and Cynthia Eagle. Thank you, Richard Strauss, for saving my life on a weekly basis.
Thank you to everyone at the Blue Stove, especially Jackie Zebrowski—you make my every day better. R.I.P Verb Café—you’ll live on in my heart forever.
To Helen Pennock . . . Helen, I could not have done this without you. Thank you for helping me through the hardest times and for making the good times even better. I love you so much.
And finally, to my family: my father, Frank Perri, and sisters, Francine Azzariti and Maria Balsamo, and in loving memory of my mother, Angela Perri, who always told me I should write a book someday.