I was awake when I heard my dad getting ready to go to the airport. It was about five in the morning, which was eight back in Pennsylvania. Given that I was usually up before sunrise at home, sleeping in this late felt almost decadent.
I dressed for the day in my new Englisch clothes and slipped on my watch, though I had to loosen the strap first. It had been a few years since I’d worn it. When I opened my bedroom door, Frisco was there to greet me. He had apparently heard me moving around and assumed I’d be coming out. He danced at my feet, and I leaned down to pet him before heading to the stairs. I had yet to warm up to the odd little creature, though his presence made me miss Timber all the more.
The house was bathed in darkness, and out of the large window in the living room I could see that the street lights still shone and stars had only just started to wink out. I found my dad in the kitchen, sipping a tall glass of orange juice as he stood at the counter-height table, tapping his finger on an iPad.
He looked up when he sensed he wasn’t alone. “Tyler. Hey. Did I wake you?”
“No. It’s just way after sunrise back on the East Coast.”
“Ah. Of course. Farm life and all that.” He powered down the iPad and slipped it into a black leather case slung over one of the tall chairs. “Any last-minute questions for me?”
We had already gone over a lot, from how to use the Keurig coffeemaker to where the dog park was located to what day and time Liz needed to be picked up from the airport. The minor details I had down. The things I wasn’t sure about, he couldn’t address.
“Can’t think of anything at the moment.”
“You know you can email me whenever you want. I’ll be checking it often during the day. Do you still have email?”
I nodded. I had a Gmail account I had opened a few years back that I used only for the buggy business. It had been a year since I had used it for anything personal. I really didn’t have anyone to email except for my dad and Brady. Dad wasn’t one for email small talk, and Brady had barely used email since he had gotten his iPhone and could text instead.
“You can call me if there’s an emergency. And make sure you give Brady the number to that cell phone we got yesterday.”
“Will do.”
Dad grabbed the leather case off the chair. We walked toward the front door, where his bag was already waiting. From inside a coat closet he pulled out a leather jacket.
“I tried talking to Brady last night after you went to bed,” Dad said, a sigh in his voice. “I asked him why he didn’t seem too happy you were here. He acted as though he didn’t know what I was talking about. I didn’t press it. I’m on thin ice with him already. I know you probably don’t want to hear this, but I feel that you’re my last hope. If you can’t reach him, I don’t know who could.”
“God could, Dad.”
He smiled wistfully. “Sure. God could.” As an afterthought he added, “So maybe you’ll put in a word with the Big Guy on our behalf?”
“I already have,” I said with a smile.
He opened the front door, and the warming night sky was tinged with dawn. Dad inhaled deeply and then turned to me. “I feel like I didn’t do right by you, Ty. I’ve felt it for a long time. I can’t change what’s in the past, but I can try to do better with Brady.”
In my entire life, I had never once heard my dad speak of regret when it came to me. I didn’t know what to make of it now.
“I don’t feel that you didn’t do right by me,” I said quickly.
He nodded, but not by way of agreement. It was as if he already knew that’s what I would say. “I kind of wish you did,” he said softly, almost so soft that I didn’t hear it.
A white van pulled up to the curb, its side painted with an airport shuttle logo and a navy blue jet.
He thrust out his hand to shake mine in farewell. “Thanks for being here, Tyler. It really means a lot to me.”
Our eyes met, and for some reason my father suddenly looked different to me. He was only fifty, but he seemed older than that and…defeated somehow. My heart went out to him. With a sigh, he stepped onto the tiled walkway, pulling his black suitcase behind him. Frisco was at my ankles, watching him go and barking the whole time. I scooped up the dog to shush him before he woke up the entire street.
My dad got into the van, slid the door shut, and the vehicle pulled away.
I went back inside the quiet house, set the dog down, and headed to the kitchen to have a cup of coffee, read my Bible, and contemplate what had just happened here.
I feel like I didn’t do right by you, Tyler. I’ve felt it for a long time.
I had to admit, just hearing those words filled some need inside of me, one I couldn’t explain and didn’t even realize I’d had until now.
I was showered and dressed and already on my second K-cup, as Dad had called it, when Brady came down the stairs a few minutes after six. He looked half awake and irritable.