He had to stay in touch, though. If he couldn’t say what he wanted to, ask the endless questions going around in his head, they needed to communicate about Sophie.
Retrieving his phone from his pocket and selecting Alicia’s number, his gaze strayed to the one thing he didn’t want to be without – a framed photograph of her with Luke and Sophie, which he kept on the bedside table. He felt like it had been taken eons ago, in another lifetime, when they were a family, happy and healthy, a smile dancing in Alicia’s dazzling cornflower blue eyes. Despite the pain she’d caused him, he hoped she would smile again one day. That she would have a life beyond the purgatory they were living in now.
‘Hi, Justin, it’s me,’ Jessica said, picking the call up. ‘How are you doing?’
‘Not great.’
‘I know.’ Jessica sighed sympathetically. ‘I honestly don’t know how you’re getting through each day.’
‘Willpower,’ Justin joked half-heartedly.
‘Yes, it’s a good job you’re a strong man, that’s all I can say,’ Jessica said dourly. ‘Some men would have walked away from it. Most men, in fact.’
‘I haven’t always been, Jess,’ Justin said, reminding her of the time he hadn’t been strong. Then, Alicia had had to be the strong one, while he’d learned how to feel normal again.
‘You’d lost your family,’ Jessica said softly. ‘To have discovered them the way you did… To have had to bury them, try to carry on, never knowing who had been responsible, why someone would commit such an atrocious act of violence…’
She stopped. Justin was relieved when she did, every desecration of his family inevitably searing itself again on his mind.
‘It’s wonder you didn’t break down completely. The fact that you got through that makes you strong,’ Jessica went on forcefully. ‘You shouldn’t be bottling your feelings up now, though, Justin, not when you’re going through the same heartbreak all over again. I know you’d probably feel a bit awkward about it, but if you do ever want to unburden, I’m here. Just because I’m Alicia’s sister, it doesn’t mean I can’t be a friend to you, too.’
Justin ran a hand over his neck. Knowing exactly what had gone on, Jessica was possibly the only person he could talk to, but he wasn’t about to do that. It wouldn’t be fair on Alicia – or Jessica, come to that. There was also the fact that he didn’t think he could talk about any of this without breaking down, and he was desperately trying not to do that.
‘I know. Thanks, Jess,’ he said, wanting her to know he appreciated the offer.
‘And if you don’t fancy unburdening, we could just get drunk instead,’ Jessica suggested.
Justin smiled wryly. He didn’t think that was such a good idea either. He doubted his problems would look much better at the bottom of a whisky glass.
‘Has he been in touch?’ he asked, bringing the conversation around to why he’d called. He should ask Alicia, and he would, but he’d taken to asking Jessica for information first, which didn’t make him feel great.
Jessica hesitated. ‘He texted her,’ she said, sounding reluctant. ‘Apparently, he’s going back to Dubai. He’s asked to meet with her. And now I’ve said enough. I’d hate Alicia to think I was going behind her back. You’d do better to ask her about the detail.’
‘I’ll do that,’ Justin assured her, already bracing himself. The fact was, he was scared. Terrified she would lie to him again. He had no idea what he would do, how he would react.
Whatever the future held for Alicia and him, he was hugely relieved Radley was scuttling off back to Dubai. He’d been shocked by the realisation he’d been an inch away from inflicting possibly fatal injuries on a man. Despite his assurances to DI Taylor, he wasn’t certain he would be able to control himself if he found himself in Radley’s company again.
‘Is she around?’ he asked, assuming from the tone of Jessica’s voice that Alicia must be out of earshot. And then he immediately felt pig-sick as he wondered where she was – and with whom.
‘She’s busy. That detective guy has just arrived.’
‘Taylor?’ Justin was surprised.
‘He said he was passing, so he decided to call in to check on Alicia,’ Jessica said. ‘I’ll get her to call you back as soon as she can.’
‘Cheers, Jess,’ Justin said, feeling wary. He wasn’t sure why Taylor had decided to pay Alicia a visit. It certainly wouldn’t be because ‘he was passing’, but it wouldn’t be to announce they’d suddenly decided Sophie was a high-profile case, that was for sure.
Fifty
ALICIA
Hearing his ringtone, Alicia knew Justin had just called. She was desperate to call him back after the way their last call had ended, but first she needed to hear what the detective inspector had to say. ‘You’re sure you won’t have some tea or coffee?’ she asked him, having already established that he wasn’t here with news of Sophie and then gone through the awkward civilities.
‘No, thanks, Alicia. I can’t stay long.’ Giving her a brief smile, DI Taylor checked his watch.
‘Something stronger possibly?’ she asked him, making a supreme effort to be cordial, despite the fact that all she wanted to do was scream at him to do his job and bring Sophie home. She’d rung around all her friends, only to be told Justin had already called, and to receive the same news he presumably had. She’d supposedly been with this mysterious friend – whom no one had any idea about – two, getting on for three days ago, which meant she could be anywhere now. The nagging thought had also occurred to Alicia that this ‘friend’ might not even be a girlfriend. A boyfriend would be worrying, but what if it were neither? What if it were some predatory adult?
‘I’d love something stronger,’ DI Taylor smiled, regretfully this time. ‘I’m still on duty though, unfortunately.’
‘Right, well.’ Alicia smiled back. ‘What can I do for you, Detective?’
‘Do you mind if we sit?’ Taylor asked, and walked across to seat himself on the sofa anyway.
Alicia took the armchair, uneasiness creeping through her as she noted the troubled look on his face. He hadn’t called by with news of Sophie. And Justin had just phoned, so what on earth was this all about?
‘Paul Radley,’ Taylor said, and paused. Alicia’s stomach turned over. ‘I believe he’s an old acquaintance of yours?’
Oh no. Alicia dropped her gaze, feeling an immediate sense of deep humiliation.
‘Mine’s not to judge, Alicia.’ Taylor smiled kindly. ‘I’m merely trying to ascertain all the facts in regard to your daughter.’
Alicia drew in a breath and nodded. ‘Yes, of course. Yes, he is,’ she confirmed falteringly.
Taylor nodded thoughtfully. ‘Justin came to see me,’ he said. ‘He was rather irate at the time – exhausted, clearly, having been searching for Sophie.’
Alicia nodded, immense sadness settling inside her. She had no idea how Justin was pushing himself on. He wouldn’t be sleeping. She could tell he was barely eating. He’d lost weight. She suspected the only thing keeping him going was his determination to find Sophie.
‘He seemed very concerned about Mr Radley having any contact with your daughter. I take it he told you Mr Radley did in fact speak to her on the telephone?’
Alicia nodded. ‘Yes,’ she said tightly. ‘He did.’
Taylor studied her for a second. ‘And what about future contact, Alicia? If Sophie turns up, which I’m quite sure she will, would you want Mr Radley to be in contact with her?’
‘No, absolutely not,’ Alicia stated categorically. ‘He’s… a womaniser,’ she added. ‘Not the sort of person who would be a good influence on an impressionable young girl.’
‘I see.’ Taylor nodded. ‘Would that be why Justin would want to warn him off, do you think?’
‘Warn him off?’ Alicia’s gaze shot worriedly to his.
‘We had a call-out,’ Taylor explained, ‘from one of the staff at Mr Radley’s place of work. Apparently, Justin paid him a visit.’