As I walked away, I heard her say, “What did I just say about challenges?”
After McKinney left, I heard my parents talking to Nicole in her bedroom. They didn’t sound that angry, though, more surprised and embarrassed that a policeman had driven their daughter home. Nicole apologized and said, “I won’t do it again. I just wanted to try a few sips and I didn’t realize how much I’d had until I started feeling weird.” My parents went on for a while about responsible drinking, and Nicole agreed with everything they said, her voice contrite.
When I opened the bathroom door an hour later, I caught her staring at herself in the mirror, wearing just her bra and panties, her eyes soft and dreamy, her hand pressed to her lips like she was savoring something.
“Jesus, Toni, can’t you knock?” she said when she saw me, then shut the door quickly.
I wondered if there’d been a boy over at Shauna’s, but Nicole never really talked about guys in general. She didn’t even have posters up of rock stars or actors—if anything, she talked more about women she admired. Part of me wondered if she was messing around with one of the girls—if that was the big secret. I’d heard rumors that the girls fooled around with each other sometimes, usually just to tease boys. But I remembered Shauna teaching me how to kiss, her soft, cherry-flavored lips pressed against mine. Though Kim was the more obvious choice, I’d never noticed her and Nicole being overly affectionate. I considered snooping through Nicole’s room, then remembered how much I’d hated it when Mom did that to me once. And since the night when Nicole helped me get ready for grad, we’d just been doing our own thing and getting along okay. It made me uneasy, but if I started to pry that would just create another war.
After the night Nicole came home drunk, she started sneaking out more and staying out later—I wouldn’t hear her footsteps on the roof sometimes until three or four. One morning, around seven, I knocked on her door to ask if she’d seen a pair of my sunglasses. She was usually up by then, so when she didn’t answer I got suspicious and opened her door a crack. Her bed was empty, but a few pillows were stuffed under the blankets to look like a sleeping body. I was standing there, trying to figure out what to do, when my mom called up the stairs.
“Did you still want a ride to the beach, Nicole?”
I hesitated, then yelled down, “She’s sleeping.”
I held my breath, half expecting Mom to come upstairs, but she muttered something about teenagers and left the house. Dad was already at work. When Nicole crept in through the back door a half hour later, I was waiting in the kitchen.
She stopped when she saw me, her eyes widening. I could see her mind working, thinking up lies, wondering if I knew she was only just coming home.
“Why are you sitting there?” she said.
“Where have you been?”
“I went for a walk.”
“Seriously? You can do better than that. You’re still wearing makeup from last night.” It was faded and smudged, but she was definitely wearing eyeliner, and her clothes, a short jeans skirt and white tank top, weren’t walking clothes.
She dropped the act. “Does Mom know?”
“No, I told her you were sleeping.”
She looked relieved. “Thanks.”
“Yeah, well, I shouldn’t do anything nice for you. Not after how you treat me. What were you doing all night?”
“None of your business,” she said, and tried to walk past me.
I stepped in front of her. “It is my business when you’re staying out this late and I’m lying for you. I don’t want to tell Mom and Dad, but if something bad happened to you…”
“Nothing’s going to happen to me.”
We held gazes, her eyes big and innocent. I considered dropping it, but I still had that uneasy feeling. “You’ve been acting weird—for, like, months.”
“Everything’s fine, I’m just—” She stopped herself.
“You’re just what?”
“I’m having fun, okay? You sneak out all the time.”
“I’m older than you. And fun can lead to trouble sometimes.”
She rolled her eyes. “Puh-lease. You’re starting to sound like Mom.”
My face flushed. “I’m not anything like her.”
Nicole pushed past me. “Then don’t act like her.” At the stairs she looked back at me, softened her voice. “Don’t worry about me, Toni. Really, I’m fine.”
*
The next weekend, Nicole said she was going camping with Shauna and the girls. Rachel’s parents were taking them all and picking her up while both my parents were at work. Nicole had her gear down by the front door and was sitting in the living room, waiting for them, while I made myself a coffee in the kitchen.
“I thought you were supposed to be at the restaurant,” she said.
I glanced at her, saw how nervous she looked. Something was up. I had been about to tell her I was leaving in five minutes, but I decided to say, “I don’t have to be in for another hour.”