I rested my head against the doorframe, closed my eyes, felt like crying too. I was screwed. Two days out and I was going back to Rockland.
“Your window’s leaking,” Harley said. “I’ll have someone look at it.”
I opened my eyes. Holy shit, he hadn’t noticed the dirt.
At the doorway he gave us both a hard look. “I don’t know what you two did with the stuff, but we’ll be watching you.”
When we heard his boots going down the stairs, I walked over and felt around in the plant. My fingers touched something round and soft. I pulled out a small bag of marijuana. We both stared at it.
“Shit, she really has it in for us,” Angie said.
I hid the drugs in my shampoo bottle. When the kitchen cleared out and I heard voices in the backyard, where Angie said Helen and the girls liked to smoke, I went down and made myself some soup. Then I walked to an NA meeting, dropped the marijuana in a Dumpster on the way. I was feeling good when I got home later. Though I wasn’t an addict, I’d come to enjoy the support of twelve-step programs and had made some friends that way in Rockland, plus I’d learned some stuff. I was hoping the same thing would happen on the outside.
I was getting ready for bed when Helen came into my room.
“I know you got my fork, Murphy.” She looked around, her eyes stopping at the plant. I’d drawn a smiley face on a piece of paper and balanced it on the leaves.
She turned to Angie. “You think you’re funny?”
I stepped in front of her. “Fucking hilarious.”
She glared down at me. “Give me my shit back.”
“You fuck with either of us again, Harley’s going to be searching your room. And I’ll make sure he finds something interesting.”
She grabbed the front of my shirt and brought her face down close to mine. I met her eyes, tried not to recoil from the sour smell of her breath.
“You’re screwing with the wrong person,” she said.
“I’m just getting started.”
She let go. At the door she turned and said, “I won’t forget this.”
CHAPTER TWELVE
CAMPBELL RIVER
JULY 1996
After graduation, I started working full-time at the Fish Shack. I didn’t see Nicole much because she was usually at the beach with Shauna and the girls. Sometimes, when I was leaving the house for work, they were outside waiting for her. They’d laugh and call out taunts when I walked to my car, but only when my parents weren’t home—sometimes they were hanging around the kitchen, using our phone and drinking all our pop, their high-pitched voices setting my teeth on edge. It was easier to ignore them now, though, easier to just smile and walk away. School was over and Ryan and I were starting our new lives. Soon we’d get out of Campbell River and I’d never have to see those bitches again.
We’d been getting some hang-ups at my house, never when my parents were home, only when it was me and Nicole. She’d look nervous when she saw me answering the phone, and I wondered if it was that boy calling again. If it was one of the girls, they’d say something mean, and they called often. Nicole spent even more time over at Shauna’s now, staying overnight a lot of weekends.
One night, I heard the doorbell ring and answered it. Frank McKinney was dropping Nicole off, one arm holding her up. She could barely stand, her eyes glassy, her clothes messed up, the smell of beer rolling off her.
“Can I talk to your parents, Toni?” he said.
I called for them, and they came to the door. I pretended to leave but stood just out of sight at the top of the stairs so I could hear what was going on. McKinney was apologizing to my parents, saying he’d come home from work and found that the girls had all been drinking. They’d gotten into some of his beer.
“I’ve already spoken with Shauna, and it won’t happen again.”
My mom sounded really upset when she said, “Please go to your room, Nicole, and we’ll talk about this in a minute.”
Nicole stumbled past me at the top of the stairs, her face angry and embarrassed, then disappeared into her room.
Downstairs, Mom said, “I’m so sorry she acted like that in your home.”
“It’s normal for kids to experiment at this age.” McKinney’s voice was calm. “You don’t want to come down too hard on them or they’ll just start hiding it.”
My mom nodded, her gaze intense on McKinney’s face, as though he held all the answers. “Daughters, they can be so challenging sometimes.”
“They sure are.” He leaned against the side of the doorjamb, one hand resting on his utility belt, his head cocked as he smiled down at my mom. “But you’ve got a good one there. I don’t think you need to worry about her.”
“Usually she’s so responsible. I just don’t know what got into her.…” My mom looked up and saw me at the top of the stairs. “You don’t need to be here right now, Toni.”