*
Shauna and her girls showed up later, dressed to the nines, their hair and makeup perfect. They came over to talk to some of the people I was hanging with—Amy, her boyfriend, Warren, and a couple of his friends, one who was sort of going with Cathy. I snuggled against Ryan and kept talking to Amy like I didn’t see Shauna there, but I could feel her watching me, checking out my clothes, my shoes, my hair, trying to mess with my head. I sat my drink down on the counter, then went to the bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror, put on a little lip gloss, fluffed up my hair. When I felt calmer, I went back out.
Shauna was standing close to one of the guys—an all-right-looking dude named Cameron, who was whispering in her ear while she smiled coyly. Good, maybe she’d be too distracted to give me a hard time.
I leaned back against Ryan, who smiled and said, “You okay?”
“Yup.” I smiled back, reached for my beer, took a swallow—and my mouth filled with a foul taste. I spit it out, spraying a couple of the girls standing near me, who all jumped back, saying things like “Oh, my God!” “Gross!”
I wiped at my mouth, gagging and coughing.
“What happened?” Ryan said.
I choked out, “Something in my drink,” and rushed to the bathroom again. I rinsed my mouth with water, but the taste lingered.
When I finally rejoined the group, I looked at my beer bottle and spotted the telltale signs of a cigarette butt—some tobacco was still floating on the surface and clinging to the sides. I said, “Someone put a cigarette butt in my beer!”
“That’s messed up,” Ryan said, looking at the bottle.
I glanced up. Shauna, Kim, and Rachel were laughing so hard they were almost bent over. Cathy was also smiling, but her cheeks were flushed and she didn’t meet my eye.
“You think this is funny?” I held the bottle in my hand like I was going to throw it. Rage coursed through my veins.
Shauna laughed. “You should’ve seen your face.”
“Did you do this?” I stepped forward. Behind me, Ryan grabbed my shirt.
She rolled her eyes. “Oh, my God. Talk about being paranoid. I wasn’t even close to your stupid drink.”
Had one of the other girls done it? Now I noticed that Amy was also hiding a laugh. “Sorry,” she spluttered. “It was just so funny, your expression.”
My face flushed with angry embarrassment—and hurt. My best friend was laughing at me. It was like ninth grade all over again.
Ryan’s friend, Greg, patted my back. “You’re supposed to smoke your smokes, not drink them.”
Everyone started laughing again. I even heard Ryan chuckle behind me. I turned around, ready to spaz at him, but he whispered, “Just go with it.”
Still angry, it took me a moment to catch on, then I realized what he meant. I started laughing, like swallowing a cigarette butt was the most hilarious thing in the world. The harder I laughed, the more everyone laughed with me. Shauna’s face changed from malicious joy to anger to rage before she shut it down and pretended to go along with the others.
“Let’s get out of here,” she said to her girls when the laughter died down. “This party’s getting boring.”
At the door, she gave me a final look. I smiled and waved.
CHAPTER FIVE
ROCKLAND PENITENTIARY, VANCOUVER
MARCH 1998
After the woman with the gray hair sat by me at lunch, Pinky, who’d been watching from where she worked in the kitchen, told me that her name was Janet.
“You don’t want to mess with that bitch,” she said. “Just listen to what she tells you but don’t get too friendly.”