"This is huge, Bridge. Like, really huge."
"I know. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. But with my mom's affair and things with Jon, I just didn't want to add to the drama, you know? I just—I can't believe my mom and Mr. Davenport were bumping uglies. It's just so gross and so… horrible. I wish I didn't know, you know? I just wish I could go back and not know."
"Really? You'd rather not know the truth about something like that?" I guess that surprised me. As a soon-to-be lawyer, all I wanted was the truth, even if that's not really what counted in a court of law. As Professor Cavin always told me, it's not the truth that matters in court, it's what you can prove. Still, I valued knowing the whole truth, even if it hurt, so I couldn't imagine preferring ignorance.
I considered whether I should tell Bridgette that Jon really had been having an affair with Molly and it was likely his baby. I'd been plagued by this for so long, but kept holding back because I knew it would hurt her so deeply. If it was me, I'd want to know. But it wasn't me. And honestly, what could she do with the information at this point? When Jon was alive, it could have saved her from being with someone who wasn't faithful, but now all it would do was hurt her and her baby.
I chose not to tell her the truth, though the lie by omission burned a hole in my gut.
"I'm so sorry, Bridge. You know I'll do everything I can to help. Ash and I both will. Are you going to keep the baby?"
It was a delicate question, but a valid one.
Her eyes glistened with tears. "Yes. Yes, I think so. I mean, it's Jon's baby. It's all that's left of him. How could I abort it?"
I understood. If it had been Ash and me in the same circumstance, I would have kept the baby, too. How could I do otherwise, if there was the last piece of him to hold onto? "It's going to be hard, with med school and being a single mom."
"I know. But that's what aunts and uncles are for, right?"
I smiled and hugged her. "Right."
Her phone buzzed and she checked it. "Oh, I have to go. The caterer needs to know which kinds of meat to serve first, which of course is something I told them a thousand times, but…" Her voice trailed off as she hurried to address the food crises. I was grateful she had taken charge of everything, because there's no way I could have handled it at this point.
I turned and faced out to sea, breathing in the scent of salt water and ocean air. I loved it out here. So free and clean and alive. Maybe I could talk Ash into buying a boat for us to go out in. That could be fun. And romantic. I imagined making love to him on the deck, with the sound of waves crashing around us and the moon shining down on us.
I closed my eyes, feeling him inside me, feeling our bodies becoming one.
And then pain sliced through me.
I looked down in shock at my left shoulder.
Blood pooled around a small hole.
I'd been shot.
As the world faded away, I tumbled face first into the Atlantic Ocean.
Chapter Twenty Eight
Cold Feet
ONE MONTH AGO
THE WEDDING REHEARSAL ended early and we'd managed to get through it without anyone punching anyone. So I called it a success.
I kissed Ash and smiled. "I need to use the restroom. I'll meet you at the car. Can you grab our stuff?"
"Of course." He pulled me into an embrace. "I can't believe that tomorrow I'll get to call you my wife. I love you, Catelyn."
"I love you too, Ash." His kiss sent chills down my spine and he left me breathlessly grinning like an idiot.
I used the bathroom quickly and on the way out ran into Jon, who'd been stalking the room waiting for me. One look and I could tell from the glossed expression and unsteady stance that he'd had too much to drink.
He grabbed my arm, hard, and slurred my name. "Cat, let's just leave. Tonight, right now. I got tickets for us and money. Paradise could be ours. Let's forget it all and go."
"Jon, I can't do that. Neither of us can do that. We have to stick to the plan. We have to finish what we started."
Chapter Twenty Nine
Sinking Into Nothingness
PRESENT DAY
FLOATING.
Falling.
Embraced by the icy fingers of the sea. They warmed me, pulling out the pain and numbing me to the other world.
I floated away in a cocoon of water. Away from everything that wanted to hurt me. Away from life.
My vision blurred as I stared at the night sky, imagining stories for each of the stars that glittered like diamonds. If I made a wish right now, would it come true? I didn't know what to wish for, though.
Shouldn't there be more pain?
I'd been shot. I remembered that. And I knew that wasn't part of the plan.
Ash.
I'd left Ash.
The water suddenly felt cold, my body shivering in the dark as I thought about my wedding, my husband, my love. I needed Ash.
I choked on water, sinking into the dark unknown. No, I couldn't let myself die. Couldn't fall asleep or I'd never wake up.
But I was so tired. My body felt so heavy. It just wanted to sink.
Sink.