“And on that sisterly note—”
“Wait. Wait. I’m sorry.” Lauren blows out a heavy breath. “Can you come up here tomorrow?”
“I have to work. I need to file the paperwork with the hospital.”
“I will tell you everything, okay? But I want to do it in person, not on the phone.”
“Is there something you’re not telling me?”
“No. Just...for Christ’s sake, Juliet, cut me some slack. Come here tomorrow, and let’s talk.”
The uncharacteristic vulgarity surprises Juliet. Lauren doesn’t curse. She doesn’t lose her temper like this. She doesn’t threaten, and she doesn’t speak harshly. The past few weeks are taking their toll.
“On one condition,” Juliet says.
“Fine. What?”
“After you finish explaining, you let me take your deposition that you didn’t know Mindy wasn’t yours. It will help you in the long run, Lauren. You don’t want the investigators looking at this the wrong way.”
Another sigh. “You won’t leave this alone, will you? Trust me. After we talk, there won’t be any need for depositions or investigations. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
She hangs up, and Juliet is stunned.
What in the hell is going on?
17
VAIL HEALTH HOSPITAL
Lauren hangs up the phone, trying to quell the growing panic that threatens to engulf her. Juliet is going to use her rapier mind to reopen the deepest wound Lauren has, whether Lauren wants her to or not. Her whole world is going to collapse.
She can’t let it happen. She has to stop her sister.
Lauren can hardly believe how much their lives have changed. It is like a waking nightmare, every day pushing them deeper into a labyrinth that has no path out. And now Juliet is going to ruin everything.
Again.
Think. Think!
Lauren returns to Mindy’s room, to the big lounge chair under the cozy blanket, the book she hasn’t read a page of nestled beside her. Her hair is in a messy bun on the top of her head; she is wearing thick shearling Uggs on her feet. There was a time when Lauren wouldn’t leave the house without a shower and full face. Now, she barely manages to drag a brush through her hair. She knows how she looks. Like an unkempt, worn woman. She doesn’t even care.
Mindy sleeps beside her, exhausted, thin, her hair sparse, her collarbones jutting out.
Lauren strokes Mindy’s forearm, rebuilds her child into the girl she remembers.
How her dark lashes used to lie across her cheek—when she had any, that is.
How her muscles gleamed, defined and taut.
How her skin turns the color of warm tea in the summer.
How when Mindy was little, she couldn’t wait for the weekend, because that meant they’d be packing up the car and heading somewhere fabulous to spend the weekend together. They’d ski all the mountains, drink cocoa by the fire, sit in hot tubs to ease sore muscles. Those days were golden. They were perfection.
How her daughter used to want nothing more than to spend all her time with her parents, in their pockets, to the point where they used to take her to her room and hand her a book so she could learn how to have quiet alone time.
Now, the arriving weekend has them back in the hospital overnight because Mindy’s pain was off the charts this afternoon. While her daughter sleeps, drugged and incoherent, Lauren is met with a sleepless night of endless beeping, coughing, cries, fluorescent lights. Snow, too, gray icy snow that batters the windows and leaves them all chilled. Lauren can’t believe they used to spend all their time in it. She never wants to see snow again. If Mindy survives...her mind chokes on that thought, the wail building inside her.
She has to survive.
We have to survive this.
A soft voice interrupts her thoughts. “Mrs. Wright?” The nurse smiles timidly. She is a CA—clinician’s assistant—a new girl, quiet and sweet, with squeaky clean blond hair in a bouncy ponytail.
“I was wondering if you have a minute. Not me, um, Dr. Oliver.”
A trill of panic spreads through Lauren’s chest, almost blinding in its intensity.
“What is it? Is something wrong?”
“No, he’s in his office and asked me to grab you. I’ll stay with her while you go. In case she wakes up. I know Mr. Wright isn’t here.”
Lauren nods and stands, carefully folding the blanket and setting the book on top of it. She doesn’t bother to mark her page.
“What’s your name again?”
“Oh, I’m Lolly,” the girl says, her dimples practically boring holes in her cheeks. “I’m doing my oncology rotation. I’ve heard so many good things about Mindy. I can’t wait to meet her.”
Lauren bites back the tears, the snappish comment. This girl looks barely old enough to have an after-school job, much less be training at this level. She forces herself to smile.
“Well, don’t wake her, but if she does, talk to her about anything you want. She’s terribly bored. Most of her teammates, friends, are out on the slopes, and she’s stuck in here.”
“I bet. You go on. Dr. Oliver is waiting.”
Lauren puts her phone in her back pocket and dutifully follows the hallway down to Oliver’s office. He is behind the big desk, the room a warm jumble of photos and books and lamplight. No fluorescents. She closes her eyes and opens them again, realizing the strain she’s been under in Mindy’s all-fluorescent room.
He looks up, his eyes kind, and smiles, gesturing her to a seat across from him.
“What’s going on?”
“Hi, Lauren. I wanted to see how you were holding up.”
“Oh. Well, as good as can be expected. Mindy is such a champion. She’s being so strong, and—”
“But how are you, Lauren? You and Jasper.”
She is silent for a moment. “Considering we might lose our daughter? Pretty shitty. Excuse my French.”
Dr. Oliver looks delighted. “No excuses necessary. I’m glad to see you still have some fire left. I know it’s hard. For the record, you’ve been amazing. You both have. But I think you need to get yourself together. Go on home. You can come back and get her tomorrow.”
“No, thanks.” She knows she sounded mulish, but what is she supposed to do? Abandon her sick daughter? Never.
The doctor steeples his fingers. “Listen to me. You’re no good to her like this. You are holding up well, considering. But you’re as diminished as she is. She’s watching you fade into nothingness, and it’s hurting her, badly. You’re hurting yourself, too.”
“Did she tell you this? What do you mean?”
“Lauren, the girl’s face is glass. She’s trying to hide it so hard. But yes, she did mention it to me. She’s worried about you.”
“You talked to her? What else did she say?”
“Yes, I talked to her. When I was adjusting her port in our appointment yesterday. I’m not only about the science, Lauren. The psychology of her illness is important to me, too.” His smile moves to something warmer. “She’s so feisty. She wanted to know why you and Jasper weren’t a match. She made me explain the science behind DNA.”
Lauren’s heart skips a beat, then rushes back to life, flooding her with adrenaline.
“You aren’t supposed to speak to her without us.”
“Lauren—”
“And what did you tell her, exactly? What did you explain?”
She sounds harsh and paranoid. She doesn’t care. Oliver frowns briefly.
“We talked about how the DNA match works. You want a rundown? I’d expect you to have already done all your research on it.”
“I have, but—”
He waits.
Lauren takes a deep breath. “We aren’t matched for a reason.”
He nods as if he’s been waiting for her to bring it up all along.
“I just... I didn’t... You didn’t tell Mindy, did you?”
“Of course not. I emphasized it’s often difficult to find a match with parents, which is why we have a donor database. And, Lauren, you don’t owe me any explanations. You’re that girl’s mother, and that’s all I need to know. But I’m glad you’ve mentioned it, because this is what I wanted to talk to you about. It would be good for us to get in contact with the biological family. There may be a match there, save us the trouble of going wide.”