Watching her get into an argument with Scott and then listening to her tell me off had been both infuriating and a relief. It was good to see the old Madison back. She had slowly disappeared on me after the incident with Rob all those years ago and the drinking had only made it worse. It had fucking killed me to see her lose her spark. Madison was the kind of woman who didn’t let any man walk all over her, and after we broke up, I had been horrified watching her allow Nix to control her.
The night I had found her beaten up was one of the worst nights of my life. If I hadn’t let her go, hadn’t given up on us, she wouldn’t have ended up with Nix and he wouldn’t have laid a finger on her. I had sworn death after that and had meant it. Scott and her father had been with me on this, but then club politics got in the way. If we had followed through on our threat it would have ended in all out war between Storm and the Black Deeds, and our club wasn’t ready for that back then. We’d spent the last two years getting our shit in order, getting ready to strike and take the fucker down. Getting Madison out of the picture had been an important part of this plan even though I hadn’t agreed with it at first. I had wanted her back with me, where she belonged, but Scott had ordered me to make sure she left town. I had done this alright; I’d killed any love she might have had left for me the day I told her to get the fuck out; the day I had told her I didn’t love her anymore.
Looking at her now I knew we had done the right thing. When she left, she had been drowning in alcohol. I hated watching her do that to herself; I felt useless, unable to make her see what she was doing. My mother had done the same thing and it was like watching re-runs of shitty television; seeing the same old crap over and over, hating it more each time. Now, Madison had her life together so it made the last couple of years worth it, even if she didn’t want anything to do with me now.
I was almost asleep when Scott bashed on my door. “J, need you man.”
“Fuck! Really?” I yelled back. It was just after midnight and I was wiped.
“Yeah, need you to check on Madison,” he replied.
Shit. Even in my sleepy haze I was now wide awake; just the sound of her name stirred me. I sat up and reached for my boots. “Hang on, be there in a minute.”
Scott was pacing at the bar when I found him. He looked up and I was instantly alert. Scott was known for keeping his shit together, but right now he looked stressed.
“What’s happened?”I asked.
He stopped pacing and raked his fingers through his hair. “Davey was keeping an eye on Madison but she ditched him. I’ve got no fuckin’ idea where she is.”
“Jesus fucking Christ!” I roared, “What the fuck is wrong with these dickheads? They can’t even do a simple job.”
Scott was nodding in agreement. “Yeah, brother. That leaves you and me to find her. I don’t trust anyone else.”
“Got any leads at all?” I asked, hoping like hell that he did.
“No. This is a fuckin’ nightmare because Nix has shown back up in town.”
Fuck! Not what I wanted to hear. Needing to lash out at something, anything, I turned around and punched the closest wall. Davey was fucking lucky that he wasn’t in sight because I would have pounded him if he was.
Scott’s phone rang, and while he answered it I mentally filed through a list of Madison’s old friends trying to work out where she might have gone. I came up short because she had wiped a lot of her friends when she was with Nix.
“Right, Madison might be at Hyde’s,” he slipped his phone into his pocket, “Let’s go.” He headed towards the front door.
I reached out and grabbed his arm, turning him around to face me. “You’re fucking kidding me, right? Not even twenty four hours home and she starts fucking drinking again?” I was pissed. Pissed at her, at Nix and at the whole fucking situation. Hyde’s was her old favourite drinking ground, and the last place I thought she would be.
Scott pulled his arm back and snapped at me, “How ‘bout you give her a break? She might surprise the fuck out of you.”
“Yeah, and she might fucking not,” I fixed an angry glare on him, “I’ve lived with, and buried an alcoholic, motherfucker. I know how they work.” I pushed past him and stormed outside. I was in a really bad mood now, and when we found Madison she wasn’t going to know what fucking hit her, especially if we found her drinking.
***
An hour later we still hadn’t found her. I had been surprised, but relieved not to find her at Hydes; I didn’t want to think about how I would have reacted if we had found her there. We had visited some of her old friends, and pissed them all off by waking them up. But none of them had seen her or heard from her. Scott was ropeable and I was pretty close. Then we got a call from Griff; Madison had shown up at the clubhouse.
We made our way back and as I stormed into the bar, I noted her tear stained face, but paid no attention to it. I grabbed her by the arm and pulled her towards me. “Have you any fucking idea how worried we have been?” I yelled at her.
She crumbled into my arms and started to sob. My reaction was automatic; I held her close, running my hand over her hair, trying to soothe her. The anger left me, and I felt the need to make everything alright for her. “Where were you, baby?” I asked.