“Bridget, what are you going to do if we do see him here? Please don’t cause a scene.” I’m beginning to regret this decision to come here. It could get embarrassing.
“I’m not giving him the satisfaction,” she sneers. “I am just going to watch him and then dump him tomorrow and tell him I’m sleeping with someone with a massive dick who rocks in the sack.” We all laugh. Good plan, I like it. The music starts, and the song ‘Bad to the Bone’ blares through the sound system, and we all smile. Of course this song is playing, so typical strip joint. A beautiful blonde saunters down the catwalk. She looks like she just stepped off a Sports Illustrated cover shoot, all muscly and oiled up, although the fake tan is to the extreme. She oozes confidence. She intimidates the three of us as we all sit in silence, entranced like she is dancing just for us. As she gets to the end of the runway she slams into the side splits. Shit, she’s flexible too. She comes straight up into a bend back to handstand up. Yep, she’s good alright. She slowly but surely commands everyone’s attention in the room, including ours. We watch, riveted, as she slowly peels every piece of clothing from her hot body. She’s a dancer obviously, and I have to say she is blowing the preconceived idea of what a stripper looks like out the window.
“Fuck, she’s hot,” Abbie whispers. I nod, unable to take my eyes off her and Bridge answers, “I know, right.” She doesn’t look easy—she looks alluring, sexy. She takes off her bra to expose the best set of fake tits I have ever seen. We all sit mesmerised, mouths open.
“That’s it,” Bridget whispers. “Decision made, I’m getting my boobs done.”
We all nod. “Good idea,” notes Abbie. She slowly turns around to turn her back to the audience and bends over without bending her knees and slides her G–String down her legs to reveal her beautifully pink vagina and anus, not a hair in sight.
“Holy crap,” Abbie whispers. “I think I’m in love.” The whole club including us are collectively holding their breath, and as she slowly starts to touch her breasts with both her hands we all lean in towards the stage.
“Fuck, this is hot,” Bridget whispers. I nod, still too entranced to speak. She lays on her back with her legs spread to the audience and starts to finger–fuck herself in time with the music, groaning and writhing on the floor. We all look at each other wide–eyed, and a little shocked to be honest. I don’t know what we were expecting but it wasn’t intimately watching an attractive woman bring herself to orgasm. She slowly brings her fingers to her lips and starts to suck them in her mouth. The audience makes a collective groan, shit. We are so out of our depth here. She rolls to her knees and puts her rear to the audience still going hell for leather with her fingers. We all sit shocked, silent and wide–eyed as she brings herself to a screaming orgasm. Moment pass and she sits up onto her knees and sucks her fingers dry. The crowd goes wild with everyone rising to a standing ovation, including us. She stands and bows, the room is a buzz. The atmosphere is suddenly pumped full of testosterone and pheromones. We clink our glasses together and giggle.
“Holy shit,” I whisper. “Why am I turned on?”
“I know, right.” Bridge nods.
Abbie laughs while draining her glass, “I have a good mind to give her my number.”
After about our sixth cocktail and having lost any inhibitions we ever had, we realize we are actually having a really good time. “Girls, I don’t want to sound pervy but I actually love this place. The girls are all gorgeous, classy and entertaining. The cocktails are amazing. And look at the crowd,” Abbie gestures around the room with her hands. “The crowd is all well behaved, all staying silently in their seats. If this was a male strip show the women would be screaming like lunatics and jumping on stage, trying to rip clothes off.” We all pulled a disgusted face.
“I know, I always assumed strip joints would be the same, but they are definitely not on the same page. This is top shelf though remember.” We all nod. A few acts of more beautiful girls and I make a surprising discovery.
“Did you notice something?” I lean in to whisper to my friends. They both quickly scan the room with their eyes, thinking I’ve seen Jeremy. “No, not that,” I shake my head. “There is not a welcome mat in this place.”
The girls both frown and look around, “You’re right, this place is pubeless. Not a pubic hair in the joint.”
“Why is that?” Bridge frowns.
“I don’t know—do men really like this?” I hunch my shoulders.
Abbie smirks, “Really, if I had to choose between a waxed one and a hairy one I would go waxed every time.”
“I suppose.” We all nod.
“Anyway,” Abbie puts both of her hands onto the table. “I am booking us in tomorrow afternoon to Beautiful Behinds.”
“What for?”
“We are going to get Brazilians and Anal Bleaching.”
I choke on my drink. “Anal Bleaching, are you mad?”