“I know my father, Red. And if I don’t participate then there’s no telling which way the fight will go. I definitely tip the scales in our direction.”
“Yeah, but don’t you think Que has anticipated this, and will counteract with something you haven’t planned for?”
I was probably pointing out the obvious, but their over-confidence was very annoying. At least if they showed a little more worry and concern I would think they were taking it seriously.
“I have anticipated everything. He won’t take us by surprise. He thinks he knows my weaknesses. But he’s never paid close enough attention to me. He doesn’t know me at all.”
I couldn’t help it; I’d been trying to keep them at bay all night, that burning in my throat, but my despair was not to be denied any longer. Thankfully my head was still buried in his shirt so he didn’t notice the silent tears that tracked down my cheeks. Or so I thought.
“Sweetheart ... no ... please, you’re killing me.” His voice was strained as he attempted to lift my face. His hands moved from my hair to my cheeks. “I have to keep you safe. It’s inbuilt in who I am.”
I resisted, wanting to hide until I had these tears under control. But he was stronger than I was. Finally I faced his stricken features.
“Don’t cry,” he caught a tear, wiping it off my cheek, “I hate it when you cry, and if I’m the cause and can’t kill the person who has upset you, well, that’s unacceptable.”
“I’ve missed you,” I finally said softly.
“I knew it.” His cocky smile was back as he stared into my face. “Wanna make out?”
I laughed. Lucy was certainly adding a new dimension to his language skills.
Brace dried the last of my tears, before kissing me gently on each cheek.
“Can I ask you something?” I’d been thinking a lot these last few days, and I didn’t want to wait any longer.
“Anything.” He pulled me closer.
“You’ve had sex, right?” I didn’t hesitate.
I would never get the words out if I thought too hard about the questions.
He stilled beside me. I almost wanted to laugh at the comical freaking out his features were doing. The bond was shut down, but I didn’t need it to know what he was feeling.
Finally he spoke. “I’m not sure if that was a question or statement.”
I nudged him. “You know what I mean. Have you had sex?”
“Yes.”
I waited for an elaboration, but there was none forthcoming.
“Okay, so a lot? With many different women?” My voice rose slightly.
I’d been preparing myself for these answers. I knew Brace was old, and that he was male and there must have been girls before we found each other. But that didn’t prevent a dark jealousy coursing through me. I wanted to find every female who knew him intimately, knew him in a way I didn’t, and ... I took a deep breath.
“Why do you want to know these things, Red?”
“I just think it’s something I need to know before I ask my final question.”
He shook his head.
“I have had sex with women, more than one, but there have been none in your lifetime. From the moment you were born, the last eighteen years, I have been searching for my mate. Somehow, I knew your essence was here.”
My heart stilled, and some of the darkness inside dissipated. That made my decision even easier.
“How old are you, Brace?”
He grinned.
I knew he was old, but he’d never said exactly.
“I’m five hundred and sixty years old, give or take. You stop counting closely after the first hundred or so years.”
My mouth fell open. He was old. Older than dirt.
He laughed into my neck.
“Well, despite the fact I shouldn’t be mated to such an old man,” I joked to ease my nerves. “I think we should have sex before you go into this final battle.”
I needed to know him that way. I needed those memories, even if they were all I had.
Brace groaned. “You drive me insane, Abigail.”
I wasn’t surprised since I drove myself insane.
He cupped my cheeks so I couldn’t turn away. His velvety eyes were soft. “We will not have sex. We will make love, because that’s what we are. We are love.”
We are love.
What did he mean by that? Was he saying he loved me, or just that true mates represent love? Either way my heart was beating fast, my pulse racing under his shifting fingers.
“And I don’t want you to rush into this just because you think that this is the end for us. It’s not the end. I will always come back for you. There are a million lifetimes for us to make love.”
“I’m ready, Brace.”
He shook his head. “If you were ready, Red, you wouldn’t have asked the question. You would have just taken control. And trust me, I’m lost to you. I wouldn’t have been able to resist.”
I knew I should have gone with Lucy’s sexy underwear plan. I dropped my head slightly. I tried hard not to let insecurities control me. This was Brace being a gentleman; it wasn’t a rejection. Maybe if I repeated that enough my poor confused heart would believe me.
“Abigail Swish.” His tone was strangled.
My head shot up. I’d never heard him say my name that way.